[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Fri





Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Not trying to discuss politics up here but from the Navy point
of view I felt this was worth mentioning. Received from a Navy
group I belong to:

No Naval Swords for U.S.N.A. Graduation this year - Threat to the
Dear Leader

Inside the Beltway - Washington Times

No Weapons for Anyone
Next will be medals, awards and campaign ribbons. They have sharp
edges.


From today's you couldn't make it up if you tried file.......Obama's
protectors have ordered graduating Midshipmen....and I suppose
Commissioned Officers through Flag rank...to leave their swords at
home. Full Dress White includes "wear sword". More to the
point...those badges of office have been earned in a manner Obongo
and his minions just wouldn't begin to understand. Important
traditions that inspire are kind of lost on the red banner crowd,
apparently.


Further, ceremonial swords never seemed to bother the Secret Service
for any previous President. And before World War II, the swords
were not particularly "ceremonial". I've seen some of those blades.
Boarding actions did occur on the China Station pre-war against
river pirates, warlords, etc. Those swords were worn not just to
graduation, but to Inaugurations, in the receiving line at the White
House afterward, to the Inaugural Ball. Somehow nobody gave it a
second thought. Somehow, even Presidents in the past didn't presume
to specify items of uniform.

But of course, what worked for Harry Truman, Ronald Reagan, F.D.R.,
the Bushes, T.R., any other rational non-cult leader.....doesn't
work for this former state senator anointed by the Chicago machine.

Does he secretly consider our Naval and Military leaders "the
enemy"? Perhaps the message this sends escaped his handlers. Sad.
And .....follow me on this Obama and minions.....insulting.
Actually it's contemptible.

buffalo says. There has got to be some reason for this order other
than
the safety of the President. These are the people that he should
have
the least concerns about. Even back in the days of Caesar, it wasn't

the military that stabbed him in the back, it was his senators.
Being a
leader means a shared trust both ways. It seems it would have been
better for him to bow out of the commencement, rather than tamper
with
tradition.

Have a good weekend ..... buffalo

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Golf Chips
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My wife told me it was about time that I learned to play golf. You
know,
golf...that's the game where you chase a little ball all over the
country when you are too old to chase women. So, I went to see Mr.
Jones
and asked him if he would teach me how to play.

He said, "Sure, you've got balls don't you?"

"Yes, but sometimes on cold mornings they are hard to find."

"Bring them to the clubhouse tomorrow morning and we will tee off."

"What's tee off?"

"It's a golf term and we have to tee off in front of the clubhouse."

"Not for me" I said, "you can tee off in front of the clubhouse if
you
want, but I'll tee off behind the barn somewhere."

"No, no, a tee is a little thing about the size of your finger."

"Yeah, I've got one of those."

"Well, you stick it in the ground and put your ball on top of it."

"You play golf sitting down? I always thought you stood up and
walked
around."

"You do, you're standing up when you put your ball on the tee."

Well folks, I thought that was stretching things a bit too far and I
said so.

He said, "You've got a bag haven't you?"

"Sure"

"Your balls are in it, aren't they?"

"Of course," I told him.

"Well, can't you open your bag and take one out?"

"I suppose I could, but I'll be damned if I am going to."

"Don't you have a zipper on your bag?"

"No, I am the old fashioned type."

"Do you know how to hold your club?"

Well, after 65 years, I should have some sort of an idea and I told
him
so.

He said, "You take your club in both hands..."

Well folks, I knew right then that he didn't know what he was
talking
about.

Then he said, "Swing it over your shoulder..."

No, no, that's not me at all. That's my brother he's talking about.

He asked, "How do your hold your club?"

And before I thought about it, I said "With two fingers".

He said that wasn't right, got behind me, put two arms around me,
and
said for me to bend over and he would show me.

Well, he couldn't catch me there for nothing. I didn't spend four
years
in the Navy for nothing. He said, "You hit the ball with your club
and
it soars and soars..."

I could well imagine that.

"... and when you're on the green..."

"What's the green?"

"That's where the hole is."

"Sure you're not color blind?"

"Then you take your putter in your hands"

"What's a putter?"

"That's the smallest club made."

"That's what I got, a putter."

"And with it, you put your ball into the hole."

I corrected him, "You mean the putter."

"No, the ball. The hole isn't big enough for the ball and putter
too."

Well, I've seen holes big enough for a horse and wagon.

"Then," he said," after you finish with the first hole, you go on to
the
next 17."

Well, he certainly wasn't talking about me. After two holes I'm shot
to
hell.

"You mean you can't make 18 holes in one day?"

"Hell no! It takes me 18 days to make one hole! Besides, how do I
know
when I am in the 18th hole?"

"The flag will go up!"

Uh, huh...

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Summer Chips
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was
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"What did you do this summer?" the teacher asked Suzie.

"Me and my family went to the beach a lot," Suzie answered.

"That sounds like fun," said the teacher. "How about you,
Emma? What
did you do this summer?"

"Me and my family rode our bikes together."

"That sounds lovely," said the teacher. She continued with
all her
pupils until she got to shy Mikey in the corner of the room.

"What did you do this summer, Mikey?"

"Nothing," the boy responded timidly.

"Did you do anything with your family?" the teacher asked,
try to draw
Mikey out.

"Yes."

"Did you go to the beach?"

"No."

"Did you ride bikes?"

"No, never!" the boy burst out. "We can never ride bikes together!"

"Why not?" said the shocked teacher.

"I don't know," explained Mikey, "but dad always said, when
mom and
sis start 'cycling together', it's time to get the hell out
of town."

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Bargaining Chips
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Bathroom Chips
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How Different Personalities Cope in the Men's Room

Excitable
Shorts half twisted around and ripped; obviously can't find the hole

Sociable
Joins friends in pissing whether he has to or not

Cross-eyed
Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed

Timid
Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal and comes back
later

Indifferent
If all urinals are being used, pisses in sink

Clever
No hands, fixes tie, looks around and pisses on floor

Worried
Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection

Frivolous
Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit other urinals

Absent Minded
Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants

Childish
Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble

Tough
Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it

Patient
Stands very close for a long time waiting, lets it drip dry,
reads with other hand

Efficient
Waits until he has to crap, then does both

Drunk
Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants

Disgruntled
Stands for a while, gives up, walks away

Conceited
Holds two inch dick like a baseball bat

Desperate
Waits in long line with teeth floating; ultimately pisses in pants

Sneak
Farts silently while pissing; acts very innocent

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Rabbit Chips
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Billy, a little bunny rabbit, was hopping down the field,
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Billy just shook his head and continued on his merry way, looking at
the
clouds and smelling the flowers as he hopped along the field. Soon
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are you?"

She looked at him, smiled and said, "My name is
Christeen, and I'm a little bunny. What's your name?
Why do you say you're a little dirty bastard?"

Billy said, "My name is Billy, and I am a little dirty
bastard. Everyone says so."

Christeen turned her pretty little nose up into the air, and said,
"If
you can't talk decently, go away!" And so saying she turned around
and
started to eat some grass.

Billy hopped on and shagged her like crazy.

Christeen jumped up and said, "Why, you little dirty
bastard!"

Whereupon, Billy smiled and hopped away.

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Hmmmmm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To make it stand,  
You wet it !
To make it wet,      
You suck it !
To make it stiff,       
You lick it !
To get it in, 
You push it!
 
Damn
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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Parting Chips
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I sat with my infant son in front of the TV, hostage to
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"It's okay." my husband replied. "He probably thinks it's
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Bonus Chip
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On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1620

Negotiations

Katie... enough said.

When I let the dogs out in the morning to do their thing, Rudy and
Sandi
will come right back in... Then there is Katie. One day last week
she
stayed out until 3:30 in the heat with no water or food. She was
almost
sick. But she has no common sense. I was determined that before I
go
to work, I would get her inside the house. The next day, there she
is
outside, sitting outside just looking at me from a distance not
answering
me.

I go outside and start my negotiations with her...

BJ: How about some dog treats?

Katie: Nope.

BJ: How about getting petted?

Katie: No thank you father.

BJ: Car ride?

Katie: Bingo! How far?

BJ: To the end of the block and back.

Katie: Not far enough.

BJ: I have to go to work.

Katie: Come on, not far enough.

BJ: Okay, to the lake and back.

Katie: Open the door and I will be there.

Zoom!

BJ drives Katie to the lake and back home then takes her inside the
house.

BJ: Anything else?

Katie: Yes, just sign this agreement that we will do this next
time.
Sign here... and here....initial here, and here...and here.

BJ: Egads!

The herd in Guthrie


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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