THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!  NESTLE Pure Life Bottled Water - FREE*! Get a 24-Pack of NESTLE Pure Life Water, FREE*! If you've got a thirst for life, get a taste of NESTLE PURE LIFE water. NESTLE Pure Life gives you refreshing, purified water enhanced with a unique balance of minerals. It's the refined, crisp-tasting bottled water than only NESTLE brand can bring you! Get your FREE* 24-Pack of NESTLE Pure Life Water now while suplies last. http://www.thepostm  FREE* NEW! PLANTERS Chocolate Lovers It's Love at First Bite. Get the perfect combination of sweet chocolate and PLANTERS nuts together in your mouth! Get your FREE* 2-Pack Sample of Milk-Chocolate Cashews or Dark-Chocolate Almonds. http://www.thepostm  Get your FREE* Sample of Oreo Cakesters (Soft Snack Cakes) Get your hands on 3 boxes of soft, moist, fresh chocolate snack cakes, filled with a thick layer of smooth, one-of-a-kind Oreo Creme. Comes in two varieties: Original and Chocolate Creme. http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! The weekend has proven to be quiet and uneventful. Since 'the war department' has the weekend off, we have no reason to venture out into the snow clogged roads. I spent most of Saturday painting the bathroom downstairs. And remarkably, the Internet was running reasonably well so she and I spent most of last night watching old reruns of Crusoe on one of the free tv websites. We are too cheap to spend lots of money on cable tv, and we have too many trees for the dish to work. So, we watch most of the stuff we want to see on the net. I often wonder why cable tv advertises the way it does. They claim its better reception than the dish. which is a joke, because around here the system gets overloaded and your tv usually blanks out about halfway through any movie you try to watch. I also switched our phone back over from VOIP to a inexpensive land line with a nice dsl package included. I'll be switching over in a couple days. It was actually a little cheaper than what I was paying for phone and internet from the cable company, and it CERTAINLY is much more reliable. NEWS FLASH There will be no Nativity Scene in washington DC .The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the capital this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find Three wise Men in the Nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable. Barack, Hillary, and Nancy all volunteered. They are not sure who the final pick will be, however, as the choice is being contested by Oprah, and Teddy. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS junk mail http://www.thepostm same old crap http://www.thepostm crime watch http://www.thepostm Michelle told Barack... http://www.thepostm Eye Contact Sometimes it's difficult to look someone in the eye when you're talking to them........  probably cuz she is squinting. ____________ LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Alvin and the Chipmunks http://www.thepostm Abbot and Costello-whos on first? http://www.thepostm no Santa?-wav file http://www.thepostm Silent night-wav file http://www.thepostm singing flowers http://www.thepostm happy holidays http://www.thepostm  POWER POINT DISPLAYS ten roses http://www.thepostm excersize of the brain http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF Squirt first http://www.funpagee Burger King fresh http://www.funpagee problem solving flow chart http://www.funpagee unconditional love http://www.funpagee monkeys and marijuana http://www.funpagee air phone http://www.funpagee Going fishing is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or grunge that may have built up while not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag. ____________ "Last night I had three orgasms in a row!" "That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred." "My god! I had no idea your boyfriend was that good." "Oh, you meant with one guy." ____________ A man just done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party. Halfway there he said, "Man, I really gotta take a dump." He got off the motorway, found an abandoned petrol station, went in there and took a dump. While he was taking this dump he read a sign that said:'There is no toilet paper. Wipe your arse with your first two fingers, then stick them out the hole and they will be licked clean for you.' Well, he had no choice, so he wiped his arse with his fingers and stuck them out the hole. All of a sudden a guy with two bricks smacked his fingers. The man screamed with pain and licked his own fingers. ____________ A traveling buyer had been on a trip for three months. Every few weeks he'd send a telegram to his wife saying: "Can't come home. Still buying." The wife stood it for a while, but when the fourth month started and her husband still had no idea of returning, she decided to do something. She sent him a telegram. "Better come home. I'm selling what you're buying." ___________ I read a survey the other day. It said that the 'successful woman' was one who made $38,500 per year. One of the questions on the survey was "how many times do you like to make love?" The most popular answer was 2 times a day. Two times a day? That's two times, seven days a week, 356 days a year. That's 738 times a year. You show me a woman who makes love 738 times a year, and I'll show you a woman who makes a lot more than thirty-eight five. ____________ Two good Montana buddies were out hunting for a cougar that was killing their sheep. They staked out an area of the woods near their fields, and waited. After a while, sure enough, there came the cougar. They patiently waited until it was close, and then they both jumped up and shot it at the same time. They couldn't tell whose bullet had taken the cougar's life! They decided to share the credit, and also to have the cougar stuffed, and they decided to take turns keeping the stuffed cougar. However, this arrangement turned out not to be to their liking. Instead, they decided to divide the stuffed cougar in two, and flip a coin for who would get which end. Bill lost, and ended up with a mounted trophy of the cougar's rear. So even though shooting the cougar was a great sporting victory, Bill thought ... it was nothing but a catastrophe. BUFFALO Bill How to Spot A Gay Guy http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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