Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Since many of us are putting up a Christmas tree right
now or considering dragging the artificial one from
the back room where we stuffed it ornaments and all
after last Christmas, I dug out my annual tree story.
Living in San Diego one of the most expensive articles at Christmas
time was the tree. Paying 65.00 for a Blue Spruce that back here in
Michigan sold for 20 dollars or even better grew in the field behind
the house was quite a shock. I never could fathom buying an
artificial tree back then and a Douglas Fir was the same as our
Balsams and just didn't seem full enough. A tree lot out there was a
complete operation. You bought your tree and for an extra cost they
would install a stand or a stand with a plastic pan and if you
wanted spray your tree with various frostings in many colors. Green
is just fine for my tree but I usually got the stand and pan
installed. One year I selected the tree with the help of the wife
and daughter who wouldn't take the first tree I pointed out until
they looked at every tree on the lot and then would come back and
grab the tree I had picked. I brought the tree to the checkout and
asked for the pan and stand to be installed. Step one they cut into
fresh trunk to let the tree drink easier and the guy grabs an
electric chain saw. Tearing into the tree there is a lot of movement
but no chips flying ,. After a minute he stops , chooses another
spot on the trunk and starts sawing again , still no chips. He stops
the saw and looks at the chain and says" George, you put the chain
on backwards again". In about thirty seconds with another saw the
trunk was severed , then a stand was nailed on and I was out of
there , my wallet about 75.00 lighter. Well that's my best Christmas
tree story , hope you enjoy the chips and, oh no " George all the
chips are backwards". I never should have hired him heh heh.
BTW Nancy put up enough new movie clips to last us about a week
so enjoy.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two pals from the army meet in the street:
-HI! We haven't seen each other so long, what's up?
-I got married, you know.
-That's great, we've got to celebrate that somehow. Come to my place
tonight so we'll have a small orgy.
-Well, how many people are gonna be there?
-If you come with your wife - three.
-HI! We haven't seen each other a long time, what's up?
-I got married.
-So? How is it? Better?
-Better? - I don't think so, but more often - for sure.
Two lovers play seek & hide.
-If you find me, I'm yours...
-What if I don't find you?
-I'm in the closet.
Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the
big
toilet like his daddy. He pushes up the seat and balances his little
penis on the rim. Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little
Johnny lets out a scream.
His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room
clutching his genitals and howling.
He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles,
"K-k-k-k-kiss {sniff} it better."
Little Johnny's mother shouts, "Don't start your father's shit with
me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
I Will Marry You!
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Sometimes...
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Doctor
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
self employed at the beach
http://www.thepostm
Rudolph gets upset
http://www.thepostm
trouser giveaway
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gorilla Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy went to the zoo to look at the animals. He bought some popcorn
and
was walking around and saw all the birds, giraffes, elephants and so
on.
He came to gorilla cage, in it was this big gorilla. The guy was
standing watching the gorilla and noticed that the gorilla was
copying
every move the guy made. The guy would reach into his popcorn bag
and
eat some popcorn and the gorilla would copy that movement. The guy
would
reach up and tug on his ear, again the gorilla would copy it. This
was
going on for some time. At one point the guy pulled his lower eyelid
down with his index finger. At that instant the gorilla grabbed the
bars, bent them, jumped through and grabbed the guy and beat the
crap
out of him. As the guy was being wheeled out to the ambulance, the
zookeeper asked "what did you do to make the gorilla go crazy like
that"
the guy told him what had happened, how the gorilla was copying
every
move he made and showed him some of what the gorilla was
copying. "What
move did you make just before the gorilla attacked you?" the
zookeeper
asked. He pulled his lower eyelid down with his index finger. "Oh"
said
the zookeeper "thats gorilla for FUCK YOU".
Well, several weeks go by and finally the guy gets out of the
hospital.
He goes back to the zoo to get back at that gorilla. He buys some
popcorn and goes straight to the gorilla's cage. As he comes up to
the
gorilla they acknowledge each other, the gorilla remembers. The guy
starts eating his popcorn and the gorilla copies his movements. The
guy
starts tugging his ear, the gorilla follows that movement. This goes
on
for several minutes. The guy pulls out a pocketknife, folds out one
of
the blades and runs the blade along his neck ( without cutting
himself
of course) He then hands the pocketknife to the gorilla. The gorilla
reaches up to his eye and pulls the lower eyelid down with his index
finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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The Ferrari Enzo RC car is easy to drive, and fun to master! Working
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Navy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim was just out of Navy boot camp, and was on his first
ship. About two hours out of port, he began to get a bit
ill from the motion of the ship. He approached an ensign,
also just out of training and on his first cruise. He
saluted and said, "Excuse me sir, I am feeling seasick,
and I wondered if I may have permission to go downstairs
to the dispensary."
The ensign returned his salute and replied, "Sailor, you
are in the Navy now. You don't go downstairs, you go below!
There is no dispensary on this ship, there is sickbay. Not
only that, that is not the floor, it is a deck, that is not
the ceiling, it is the overhead, that is not a pillar, it is
a stanchion, that is not a water fountain, it is a scuttle-
butt. If I ever hear you using civilian words instead of
Naval jargon, I till throw you out of that little round
window over there."
Charlie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a male prostitute so popular that he had to hire a
secretary and a public relations director. Thereafter, whenever a
woman called him, his staff rose to the occasion.
Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't
have
the balls to do it.
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. (Woody
Allen)
I'm living with a girl but we're not married. Its kinda like leasing
with an option to buy.
The masochist couldn't answer the phone because he was tied up.
He: "How many beers does it take to make you dizzy?"
She: "About four or five, and don't call me dizzy."
What's the difference between sin and shame?
It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
What should you do if a elephant comes in your window?
Learn to swim.
What do you call boobs on a girl scout?
Brownie points
Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
They have shaky hands!
Why is it impossible for a woman to find a man who is caring,
sensitive, and also good-looking?
All those men already have boyfriends.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL THAT IS REQUIRED IS TO PASS YOUR PHYSICAL !
When his son refused to get a job, his father insisted he join the
Marines.
At the induction physical, the doctor directed the reluctant naked
recruit to read the eye chart across the room.
"What chart?" the young man asked.
"The one on the wall!" The doctor said."What wall?
Sensing he had a deadbeat on his hands, the doctor asked his
beautiful nurse to walk in naked.
"What do you see now?"
"Nothing."
"Well, you may not see anything," the doctor said, "but
your 'indicator' is pointing toward Paris Island !
Welcome to the Marine Corps, son
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde went to her local pet store
in search of an exotic pet. As she looked about the store, she
noticed a box full of big green frogs. The sign says: "Oral Sex"
frogs! Only $20 each! - Money back guarantee!! (Comes with complete
instructions)
The girl excitedly glanced around to see if anybody was watching her
and then whispered softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take
one."
The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions
very carefully." The girl nodded, grabbed the box and was quickly on
her way home.
As soon as she closed the door to her apartment, the girl took out
the instructions and read them thoroughly, doing exactly what it
said to do. 1.. Take a shower, and clean yourself "down there"
thoroughly 2.. Splash on some mild, sweet smelling perfume on your
body. 3.. Slip into a very sexy teddy. 4.. Crawl into bed, spread
your legs and put the frog "down there".
She quickly showered and jumped into bed. she put the frog between
her legs and trembling with anticipation, she waited. To her
surprise, and annoyance, nothing happened. The girl was totally
frustrated and quite angry at this point. She re-read the
instructions and noticed at the bottom of the paper it said, "If you
experience any problems or have questions, please call the pet
store."
So the girl called the pet store. The man said, "I had some
complaints earlier today. I'll be right over". Within five minutes,
the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomed him in and said,
"See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the
damn thing just sits there". The man looked very concerned. He
picked up the frog, stared directly into its eyes and sternly said:
"OK you green idiot. Listen closely to me! I'm only going to show
you how to do this one more time!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Click here to hear more or buy now:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
John w/ Silent Night
http://heavens-
Melva/Most Wonderful Time
http://www.silveran
IN MEMORY OF THE BRAVE-ARLINGTON AT CHRISTMAS
http://summerhoosie
Salvation Mountain!
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Feel what it's like to be famous.
Get the Guitar Hero World Tour(R) Band Kit, FREE (with completion of
program requirements)
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
OLD TIME GEMS Photo Gallery
http://montesredesi
Christmas Songs
http://www.nevada.
Ugly Christmas Lights
http://www.uglychri
Snowman Name
http://www.quizopol
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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look at and even better to make meet in real life, then take
advantage of this -FREE- membership right now.
Press here to join for NO COST:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Sally
Christmas Webcams
http://www.emailsan
Jen's Computer 101
http://www.jegswork
Basic Windows
http://www.learntha
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.faiththe
Kitty Korner
http://www.geocitie
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
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right way.
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Chips
Copon The Move
http://www.buffalos
Crazy White Man
http://www.buffalos
Crime Scene Technology
http://www.buffalos
Cubs Game
http://www.buffalos
Cucumber Sandwich
http://www.buffalos
Dad Blanket
http://www.buffalos
Cleveland
http://www.buffalos
Close a Bag without using a baggie tie
http://www.buffalos
Dean Martin & John Wayne
http://www.buffalos
Dean martin & George Gobel
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bush Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you, President George W. Bush!
http://www.thankyou
Dear President Bush:
Thank you for all you have done to protect me from terrorism.
It has been seven years since I was attacked and some of my
friends were killed. I am truly grateful for the way you have
handled one of the most profound crises my country has ever
faced. As commander-in-
with anyone other than you at the helm. Thank you for being a
man of integrity and an inspirational leader. May God bless you.
------------
I've identified, as groups, some of the signatures that were
seen on the site. Unfortunately, there must not be a lot of
space available, because these are all gone from the site now,
presumably so many others may add their own sentiments:
Shy and Unidentified:
- Anon E. Muss
- Jess Kiddin
Log Cabin Republicans:
- Homer Sekchal
- Hugh Janus
- Ollie Taboner
- Heywood Jablome
- Jack Mehoff
Abusers and Self-Abusers:
- Markie D. Sod
- Claude Gerbals
- Jack Mahawgoff
- Wilma Fingerdew
- Amanda Livering-Payne
- Anita Spankin
- Phil McHunt
- Mona Lotzenkumme
- Katya Cherkinov
- Jack Soffolot
- Willie Fistersnatch
Biology Professors:
- Anita Gofradump
- Ivana Tinkle
- R. U. Shittingme
- Ollie Tabooger
- Mrs. Ivana E. Tabooger
Boasters and Braggarts:
- Natalie Drest
- Dixie Normous
- Mike Litoris
- Emerson Bigguns
- Mike Hunt
- Harry O'Toole
- I. Sawyer Balzac
- Mike Oxbig
- Wilma Dikfit
The Sick and Infirm:
- Red Ruffansore
- Ann L. Wortz
Wishers and Wellwishers:
- May I. Fondalette
- Oliver Klozoff
- Hugh Succock
- Olga Fokyerzeph
- Fuch U. Mann
- Hugh Schtink
- I. Haychur Gutz
Foreign Friends:
- Juan Tootreego
- Houz bin Farteen
- Clarence DeClowne
- Carma Esa Bicha
- Takeshi Tonyu
- Ahmed bin D'hohver
- Karma Hurtz
- Di Soon
- King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud,
Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques
Corporate and Charitable Organizations:
- American Pretzel Council
- Dallas Whites Only HOA
- Oil Tycoon Billionaires of America
....and those who know George "Dubya" Bush best:
- Oliver Wright Sargonne
- Ima Boozer
- Shirley Eugest
- Xavier Onassis
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Slide in the other side, and there you have it.
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Create a variety of hairstyles for all types of occaisions,
including Weddings & Formal Events,
the Office, Nights out on the Town, Working Out, and even in your
bed. EZ Combs are soft & comfortable.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mounting
http://able2laugh.
True sports fans
http://able2laff.
Alf Trek
http://able2laff.
Pimp Towels
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Viagra Presents
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Wonderful Evening
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Mini RC Wall Climber is an utterly astonishing, gravity defying,
wall climbing RC car! Amaze your friends and family as you drive to
the wall, and then up the wall! Once on the wall, you can turn in
all directions just like you do on the floor! This remote controlled
RC Mini Wall Climber does just what its name implies, it really does
climb up walls! You can drive on windows, doors, walls and just
about anything flat! Thanks to industrial fans and the advanced Air
Venturi-like system, this zero gravity mini rc wall climber pulls
air in under itself - magically holding to the wall while you
drive! Drive it straight at the wall, and when it gets there it
starts to tilt upwards and at 45 degrees. Then the Mini RC Wall
Climber's Traction Technology kicks in, literally sucking the car to
the wall. Once on the wall you can drive on the wall - as easy and
fast as being on the floor. This Mini RC Wall Climber really defies
gravity!!!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I ran into a lady one night
Whose pussy said Gimme a bite
If I had my pick
I'd give it a lick
or maybe a nibble so light
There Was A Young Lady Of Mass.
Rather Lacking, We All Thought, In Class.
She Would Stroll Boston Common,
And Whenever She Saw Men,
She'd Whimper, ''Please, Sir, Make A Pass.''
There was a young girl from Balmoral
Whose habits were highly immoral.
For the price of a dime
She took three at a time,
One fore, one aft, and one oral
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watch the weazel dance! Hilarious!
Best stocking stuffer for 2008, You're guaranteed to be a hit!
Check out the video and get your now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought
his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him
out on the counter.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes,
she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?" She
answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She
answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember
that blow job I promised you? Here it comes..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best of 2008!
The latest and skatest craze!
Simply strap on, Push and glide!
See them flash at night when you move, no batteries required!
You're guaranteed to be a hit!
Kids love them! They can race, switch, turn and zig zag!
Not available in stores!
Check out the video and get your now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the
class,
and she discovered Little Johnny with a cat under his shirt. She
said,
"Why have you got your cat at school?"
Little Johnny started crying. "I'm trying to save his life. I woke
up
this morning to hear the mailman tell my Mommy, 'I'm gonna eat your
pussy today!'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Voted Best of 2008!
Turn anything into a flashlight and never be left in the dark again!
The world's thinnest flashlight that fits anywhere!
Perfect for cell phones (since you always carry it around)
But also great on Ipods, Cameras, Wallets, Closets and anywhere you
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The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
right at your fingertips
You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
Not available in stores!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1491
The Christmas Lights Pt 2
Finally, the family arrives at the first display of lights.
Katie: Oh my goodness! I have never seen such a sight.
Sandi: Daddy, I am glad you gave us our contacts where we can see
colors.
Rudy: These lights, what is the purpose?
Diana: There was a star about 2,000 years ago that guided the wise
men to
where Jesus was born. These lights are the modern symbol of such.
Katie: They are so beautiful.
Sandi: I have no words.
BJ: Just enjoy.
Rudy: Look a manger scene...like the one we experienced when we
went back
in time a few years ago.
Sandi: Over there a house with just a cross...why?
BJ: Because it is a symbol like everything else we see. A symbol
of Love,
sacrifice.
Katie: I understand.
Rudy: A-Rooo!
Sandi: I remember.
Diana: Time to head back home..
The family with thoughts of remembrance in their head drift back...
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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