THE POSTMAN'S CORNER where the world goes for its daily dose of humor! I had a handle on life, but I broke it  Watch The Dancing Weazel - Kid & Pet Toy A Classic! Guaranteed to make any child smile ages 5 to 95... You're guaranteed to be a hit! Take it to family reunions, office parties, board meetings, school, church or on the road and score big! They steal the show! Your kids will be putting their expensive toys aside just to play with the dancing weasel The fun is contagious! You can't put them down! Great fun with pets too! http://www.thepostm  Get a $500 Apple(R) Gift Card, FREE (with completion of program requirements) Call home for the holidays on an Apple(R) iPhone(TM) 3G.  Congratulations! You have been chosen to receive a FREE $1,000 Walmart Card! http://www.thepostm  Tis the season to go shopping! Congratulations - you've been selected to receive a FREE $500 JC Penney(R) Gift Card! Update your wardrobe this season with a FREE $500 JC Penney(R) Holiday Gift Card!Shop for fall and winter fashions, as well as accessories, jewelry, shoes and more! Whatever your style We are blanketed with snow here in lovely West Michigan. Although there are no major school closings yet, I suspect by tomorrow morning, the roads will be paralyzed in white. The Internet has been acting crazy since last night about 8pm. I was just barely able to get the page done this morning. Nothing seems to work right. The phones are out. I'm gonna finish this up, take me a nice morning nap, and then if and when I decide to wake up, I'm going to curl up on the sofa and read a book. Maybe I'll make some hot chocolate and soup. I am hardly into winter and already it feels like I am just hybernating and waiting for summer to get here. What better way to while away a winter morning than jokes n toons from the postman? We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS Dennis the menace http://www.thepostm my experience http://www.thepostm hope you don't mind http://www.thepostm sit on this http://www.thepostm who doesn't http://www.thepostm that time of year http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF Can I survive a depression? http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Bill Engval-stupid people http://www.thepostm Peter Schiff was right http://www.thepostm give it a push http://www.thepostm Better watch out-wav file http://www.thepostm boobies-wav file http://www.thepostm helllooo.... POWER POINT DISPLAYS ice rain in China http://www.thepostm time to say good bye http://www.thepostm Victoria Falls http://www.thepostm we thank our patriots http://www.thepostm A young, naive new bride went to lunch with an older more experienced girlfriend from work soon after returning from her honeymoon. Her newfound friend was enquiring, "How she was enjoying married life?" "Well," the new bride responded, "I'm a bit concerned cuz my husband has this habit of falling asleep with his erect penis inside of me." "Is that a problem for you ?" her girlfriend asked. The response was, "Well, the problem is he walks in his sleep!" ____________ Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, the first guy says, "Did you see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks. "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over here." "Oh." A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!" And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?" ____________ A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost fifty dollars an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee. "Hoot mon," he said, "in Scotland it wouldna ha been more than $20." "That might be true," said the travel agent, "but you have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord Himself walked." "Well, at $50 an hour for a boat," said the Scotsman, "it's no wonder He walked." ____________ *Things to do When Your ISP Goes Down* 1. Dial 911 immediately. 2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years. 3. You mean there's something else to do? 4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote. 5. Work. 6. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family. 7. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off. 8. Sleep (and dream about surfing the Internet)! ____________ What's the difference between a penis and a prick? A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying.. every great man is a great woman... and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ____________ The guys were all at a deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said,'Man, what happened to you?' He said, 'Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.' The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said, 'Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night .' The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. 'Good morning,' he said. They couldn't believe it! They said, 'Man, what happened?' He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed, patted his ass and kissed him good night. Daryl sat up and watched me all night.' ____________ Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Mom in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon was so bright that it lit up the yard, The place was a mess, something hit it real hard. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a crooked old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Fuckin' slow down, or I'll cut off your nuts. Over the lamp post, and don't hit that tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee. They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up in the shrub. And then from the roof came a hell of a splatter, As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder. I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down through the chimney he came with a crash. His suit was all soaking with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore. "That was some cathouse," he said with a smile, "The reindeer are pooped, so I'll hang for awhile." He walked to the kitchen and poured up a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink. I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. The first thing he found was a black leather whip, Next were some X-rated video clips. A box full of condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pack of panties, the edible kind. A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And boxes of goodies I won't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil. "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa would shit, If you don't mind I'll leave it all here when I split." He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve. He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, And he fell on his buttocks and broke wind instead. He cursed and got up and climbed into his hitch, "Let's go ya varmits, the night's been a bitch!" The shuddering lurch slammed him back in his chair, And he let out a belch as they took to the air, Bending the lamp post and raking the tree, He bounced off a rooftop and finally got free. "I'm comin' home, woman!" he sang with a smirk, "So grab both your ankles, and pull up your skirt!" ____________ Whenever I come home from playing golf, my son always asks me excitedly, "Did you win, Dad?" I have explained to him time and time again that you're really just playing against yourself. We were on vacation and I had gone out to play a round. When I returned, the kids were swimming in the hotel pool, which was full of kids and surrounded by dozens of parents. From across the pool, at the top of his lungs, my son yelled, Hey Dad! Did you have fun playing with yourself?" We checked out that night. ____________ BUFFALO Bill Got in to you http://www.buffalos Got the Job http://www.buffalos FUN PAGES from Lorraine Man's Greatest Wish http://tinyurl. Amazing Personality Test http://tinyurl. |
*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
.
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment