[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Sun



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

This from Scott.

Well, now we know the real problem.

This is why American manufacturing is in the dumper!

The reason magnificent plants like this one cannot be built in the US...UAW - United Auto Workers (Union). This is the main reason companies outsource to foreign countries...

Ford Assembly Plant in Brazil.......

Interesting ... It will help you understand the "de-mise" of the 'Big Three Auto builders in the US of A...

This is a video of a new Ford plant in Brazil .

One look at this and you will be able to tell why there will probably never be another one built in the USA .

It will also point out why more assembly plants will go offshore.

http://info.detnews.com/video/index.cfm?id=1189 < http://info.detnews.com/video/index.cfm?id=1189 > and.. pay attention to the last few words ( after 3:00). It says a lot!

buffalos says This is the future of auto making and it is mostly 10 year old
technology. It is true that use of robotics does require fewer employees.
That reduces the money that flows into the UAW and reduces their power.
It also reduces the amount of legacy costs for the automakers. Robots
don't retire, they get scrapped. Also reduced is the amount of repetitive
motion injuries and you have a healthier workforce working better in an
ergonomic environment. There is a shift in job emphasis requiring a better
understanding of programming and the ability to maintain and repair
these robots and computer controlled lines and quality control all require
increased training and higher pay. Repair and rework is necessary too
because for example when a robot welder is MIG welding a frame and
a tip clogs halfway through a car frame it may sense the problem and
stop itself but real humans have to go in and fix the problem and rerun
the program from the breakdown onward.

That is the new future of auto making, it does require fewer people but
you can get a better product with less people and less cost. The
alternative is total loss of jobs.

Enjoy the chips..... buffalo

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Aussie Chips
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Extracts from the problem page of the famous Australian men's magazine "Cobbler's", starring the legendary "Uncle Bruce,"... the " agony aunt with Balls"

Q. Dear Bruce I have some lucky condoms that I keep in my wallet. I am beginning to wonder if they really are lucky as they have been there for two months.
A. Jesus mate, no worries. Men only use rubbers when they are sober anyway. Guess that means you've been pissed for two months which makes you one lucky b@st@rd! Just on a medical note rubbers are good when you do an Abo as they are smelly bastards, Oh and Roos too, helps avoid bush rash.

Q. Dear Bruce my girlfriend got upset when I suggested I use an old girlfriend's vibrator on her.
A. No worries. I've seen this before. Women need reassuring. Tell the stupid bitch that you have cleaned it since you last used it. Sometimes Sheila's get hung up on hygiene.

Q. Dear Bruce I gave my sister one up the shitter and now she wants me to do her mate.
A. Eh mate you're from Melbourne right? No worries mate, as long as her mate is a Sheila it's ok.

Q. Dear Bruce, After my last Hockey game I got an erection in the showers. Is this normal , I am a single guy and like girls.
A. Nah mate you're queer. Only queers play hockey.

Q .Dear Bruce, my wife says I don't use enough lubricant before we have sex.
A. Exactly how many beers are you drinking before you root her ?

Q. Dear Bruce , I am beginning to suspect I am gay. I wear leather trousers and have just grown a Freddie Mercury moustache. I don't know who to turn to.
A. Get a grip of yourself man. Face facts, be logical: You're queer, no one likes you , get a gun, blow your brains out.

Q. Dear Bruce my girl friend says we don't do enough foreplay.
A. Geez mate, you had me stumped for a bit. I didn't recognise the word Foreplay. Then it struck me, Fore is what you shout in golf.. Jeez guy, men don't play golf with women but it's ok for her practice putting with your dick.

Q. Dear Bruce, I fooled around with a Kiwi and now I have a dose. What do I do ?
A. Deny ,deny, deny, deny, deny and never ever ,ever, ever ,ever admit to going with a kiwi.

Q. Bruce the boys are telling me there is such a thing as Dingo sex.
What is it ? A. There are two types. The first one when you wake up next to a f*cking ugly Sheila and you chew your arm off to escape rather than wake her, just like a dingo caught in a trap, and the other one is when you drink too much and your old boy it Dingo in and dingo hard.

Susan

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

oops-uh oh
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when headbangers grow up
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the canary died
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Virginity YES
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He-She
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Romance
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Short Chips
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It has come to the attention of researchers of the Food and Drug Administration that previously unanticipated complications, result when Viagara is taken along with Ex-Lax. Both products tend to act together and magnify the effects of the other. The researchers have concluded that the result is that you end up both coming and going at the same time. It
*really* gets complicated when Prozac is taken with the other drugs, because then, you really don't give a shit if your cuming or going.

~~~~

A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself. Soon, the waitress came over to take his order. ". . .and to drink?" she asked. The man said he would like coffee. The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man's lap when she stopped at the table. "Oh my God! I am so sorry!" "That's OK," the man said, sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin. "But tell me, is this regular or decaf?" "Regular," she replied. "Oh great ... now this thing is going to be up all night!"

~~~~~

This guy Chris gets a call from his buddy John one day, and John is on the phone crying.

Chris asks, "John, what's wrong? You sound really upset."

"Well," replies John, "my wife's been cheatin' on me."

"With who?" asks Chris.

"The neighbor," replies John.

"That damn dirty slut!" says Chris.

"Yeah," replies John, "you think I'm upset, you should've heard how upset the neighbor's husband was."

~~~~

Bishop to Pope. "I have good news and bad news."

Pope "What's the good news?

Bishop "God is Alive."

Pope "That's very good news, what's the bad news?"

Bishop "She is dancing with the Witches at Fort Hood."

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Golf Chips
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Shloyme Seltzer has become rich and wants to show off,
so he orders his driver to drive him to this new
exclusive golf club with his new Cadillac.

Unfortunately a sign at the door unmistakably states
that Jews are not permitted access. The driver wants
to return home, but not Shloyme!

Shloyme says: "Wait here for me."

His driver responds: "But don't you see the sign?
They'll kick you out immediately!"

Shloyme says, "I don't have to tell them I'm Jewish."
and he leaves for the gate.

So the driver waits... One hour... two hours... three
hours. After three and a half hours, Shloyme is kicked
out by two body-builder type guardsmen.

The driver asks: "What happened?"

Shloyme says,"Everything was fine until we played hole
number eight! Accidentally I shot my ball into one of
these ponds. I shouted: 'Oh, my G-d, what'll I do
now?' And then the waters separated and everybody
knew..."

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Random Chips
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We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse!

Some people can tell time by looking at the sun, but I've
never been able to see the numbers.

Joe and Tom were out walking home from work one afternoon. "Shit,"
Joe said, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the wife's panties
off!" "What's the rush?" Tom asked. Joe replied "The damn elastic in
the legs is killing me!"

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

If you walk, just walk. If you sit, just sit. But whatever you do,
don't wobble.

Q. what does a man and a sperm have in common ???
A. they both have about a million to one chance of becoming a human
being

Q. Why are Jewish men circumcised?
A. Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it is 20% off.

Q: What do you call a Roman with hair between his teeth?
A: Gladiator.

Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
A: His wife died.

Q: Why are roach clips called roach clips?
A: Because "pot holder" was already taken.

The Answer: A Cockrobin.
The Question: What are you putting in my mouth, Batman?

A news story said the police caught a guy trying to cash a phony
check and took him down to the station. While the officers were
distracted, the crook grabbed the check off the desk and swallowed
it. No problem: the police waited five or six hours and then charged
the guy with passing a bad check twice...

"I had a hard time at the bank today. I tried to take out a loan and
they pulled a real attitude with me. Apparently, they won't accept
the voices in my head as references."

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when
you know the battery is weak?

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your ass will
be soaking wet.

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table
and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately
responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

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Dogs Chips
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Bob was showing off his bird dog to his friend Bill. They went down
Towards a lake and Bob said to the dog, "How many ducks are there
boy?"

The dog raced off to the lake, came back a couple of minutes later,
and Barked twice. Seconds later, two ducks floated into view.

"That was unbelievable, can he do it again?" Bill asked.

"Sure," responded Bob, "How many ducks are there boy?"

The dog raced off again, came back, and barked four times. Four
ducks Flew in and landed on the pond.

"I have to have that dog," Bill said, "I'll give you $5,000 and all
of My hunting dogs."

They agreed to the deal, and Bill took the dog home to show off to
his Wife. Bill and his wife took his new dog down to the lake and
Bill Said, "How many ducks are there boy?"

The dog raced off, came back, humped his wife's leg, grabbed a stick,
Shook it, and threw it over his shoulder. "Bob gypped the hell out
of You," his wife said. "You are such a fool."

Bill protested, "But I saw it work, let me try again. How many ducks
Are there boy?"

Again the dog raced off, came back, humped his wife's leg, grabbed a
Stick, shook it, and threw it over his shoulder. "Well, shit" Bill
Said, "This dog is useless." In a fit of rage he shot the dog.

Then, after shooting the dog, he went back and told the story to Bob.

After hearing that Bill had killed the dog, Bob cried "YOU IDIOT.
That Dog was telling you that there were more ducks than you could
fucking
Shake a stick at ."

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Future Chips
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What is the mother's name from the Jetson's?

-Jane

What is the father's name?

-George

What is the son's name?

-Elroy

What is the daughter's name?

-Judy

What is the dog's name?

-Astro

What is the Democrat President's name?

-There isn't no Democrat President

*Isn't the future great!*

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Police dash cam of Meteor over Edmonton, Canada Via Titus
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

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Movie Chips

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Knight Chips
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In a medieval castle lived a king, who with no TV or L games to watch, was becoming bored. So after dinner one night he decided to hold a contest to see who at the court had the mightiest "weapon".
-
After the contest was announced the first knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon... proceeded to pull down his pants and tied a 5 pound weight around it, and his weapon doth rose.
-
The crowds cheered...the women swooned...the children waved colored banners... and the band played appropriate music.
-
Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He dropped his pants and tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered...the women did swoon while peeking through their veils...the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band played joyous music.
-
After several more knights attempted to prove their superiority...the King finally spoke out.
-
"I have the mightiest weapon of them all!" He dropped his pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound, but a 40 pound weight to himself. And his weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered...the women screamed, shouted, swooned and passed out from desire...the children waved many colored banners and the band played -
-
"God Save the Queen."

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Toon Chips
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In For It
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Pick up Lines
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Winner Gets on Top
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Jugs
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Limerick Chips
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A cautious young fellow named Tunney
Had a whang that was worth any money.
When eased in half-way,
The girl's sigh made him say,
"Why the sigh?" "For ths rest of it, honey." __________________________________

There once was a preacher's daughter
Who resented the pony he bought her
Till she found that it's dong
Was as hard and as long
As the prayers her father had taught her __________________________________

A young polo-player of Berkeley
Made love to his sweetheart beserkly.
In the midst of each chukker
He would break off and fuck her
Horizontally, laterally and vertically.

Ross

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Parting Chips
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Ole & Lena lived on a lake in Nordern Minneesoda. It was near the end of
winter, and spring was yust beginning.

Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across the frozen lake to the yeneral store
to pick up some tobacco. She asked for some money, but he told her to "Yust
put it on our tab".

So she valked across, got the tobacco & valked back. Then she asked Ole "Vhy
didn't you send me with any money?".

Ole replied, "Vell, I vasn't going to send any money ven I vasn't sure how
tik the fokin' ice vas."

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Bonus Chip
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She was standing in the kitchen

preparing to boil eggs for breakfast,

wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in almost awake,

she turned and said softly,

'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'

My eyes lit up and I thought,

'I am either still dreaming or

this is going to be my lucky day.'

Not wanting to lose the moment,

I embraced her and then gave it my all;

right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her 'T' shirt still around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'

Randy

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1474

Playoff Game

Diana: Everyone into the van.

Katie: Where are we going?

BJ: To Tulsa.

Rudy: Is that a Diner?

Sandi: No, it is the second largest city in Oklahoma.

Rudy: Why we going there?

Diana: Guthrie is playing in two hours in their playoff game.

Rudy: A-Roo!

Katie: Let's go. I have my cheerleader outfit packed.

Sandi: Did you bring sandwiches and a sleeping bag?

To be cont


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