a fool dreams of wealth
a wise man dreams of happiness
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
_____________________
MEMES N TOONS
2 pieces
I was young once
left it outside
the committee meeting
want me to fart
the best kind of girls
everyone hopes
when Miley Cyrus is naked
trivia night
you are here
plastic straws
3 stages
he did it
had a fight with the wife last night
wd 40
thats not bacon
___________________
JOKES
his mom had dementia
which part goes up to heaven first
Bill Clinton had a heart attack
advice for golfers
a little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox
the farmer and the vet
name one thing
you've been doing something wrong
before and after marriage
we met in a secluded field
Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one
fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.
"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy
replied that no, he only needed the one.
"Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that
ball?"The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose
it, so I don't need another one."
Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the
ball goes in the lake?"
"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able
to retrieve it."
"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among
the bushes and shrubs?"
The other guy replied, "That's okay, too. You see, this special golf
ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."
Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the
sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you
going to do then?"
"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is florescent.
I'll be able to see it in the dark."
Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks,
"Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"
The other guy replies, "I found it."
Three scientists were talking one day when one of them
asked if there had ever been an experiment carried out
to determine the effect of blocking off an elephants rectum
for an extended period of time. They discovered that it had
never been tried and so they resolved to try it themselves.
They got an elephant and inserted a huge plug into it's arse
and let the elephant go about it's daily business of eating
500 pounds of greenstuff a day.
After a couple of days, it occurred to the scientists that
someone was going to have to remove the plug from the
elephants arse. None of them were prepared to do it so
they got themselves a monkey and trained it to remove the
plug when it heard a particular bell sound.`
Come the day of the end of the experiment when the plug
was finally to be removed, they set themselves up at
respectable distances from the monkey and elephant -
1 scientist was 50 yards away,
1 was 500 yards away
and the third was a mile away.
All had recording equipment etc set up to record the event.
One had a button to press to sound the bell and prompt the
monkey to remove the plug from the elephant's arse.
The button was pressed, the bell sounded and there was
this god-almighty explosion.
The scientist at 1 mile from the elephant was splattered with
shit and he raced up to the scientist 500 yards from the
elephant. He too was covered in shit.
They both raced up to the scientist who had set himself up
50 yards from the elephant to find him up to his neck in shit,
covered in scratches and bruises and with a couple of broken
bones in his arms and legs. He was also pissing himself
laughing. One of his colleagues commented on all the injuries
he had sustained and asked why was he laughing so much.
"The bell sounded, the monkey pulled the plug and I was
injured when the blast threw me backwards away from my
position.", he said.
"But why were you laughing so much?", his colleagues
asked again.
"You'd be laughing too if you could have seen the expression
on the monkey's face as he tried to put the plug back in."
A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but
was meeting with considerable sales resistance.
"Shucks, I'd sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer.
"Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you'd look riding
around on a cow."
"Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as I'd look trying
to milk a bicycle!"
_____________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Buying Beer - SNL
3 Weird Meteorites
Cat Babysitting Adorable Golden Puppies
High-tech car theft: How to hack a car
MADtv Dr Phil Helps Women
Family Matters- Cooking can be a mess
Glen Campbell, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash + friends
Slowpoke Rodriguez
Taylor Tomlinson On Dating Someone With No Emotional Baggage
Inside the Quietest Place On Earth
America's Funniest Home Videos (Nincompoop-A-Rama)
_______________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
a glass of wine
what I thought was funny
2 blondes
if I was a serial killer
my wife asked me why
a raise
the most addictive drug known to mankind
alzheimers poem
tequila
lazy is an ugly word
we had a deal
exceed the limits
excersize
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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