Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was checking out a website today and I came across this
Don't miss "Elsie and Bessie", life size milking cows. Kids and
Adults will enjoy the experience of milking a cow (simulated).
Handcrafted from Nebraska; everyone gets a realistic experience of
milking a cow! Elsie and Bessie, our milking cows are guaranteed not
to kick, bite or make a mess! You and your kids will be sure to
remember and love milking the cows; it is as close to the real thing
as you can get!
That is pretty high tech. I was taught how to milk a cow with some
sort
of balloon that had two ears. I was about ten years old and had
never
milked a cow, something my dad did a good job of correcting in the
next eight years. Leaving out the thrills of getting kicked by the
cow
or having to dodge cow pies as they spatter when they hit the floor
kind of spoils the experience though but at least you still get to
have
milk fights with those near you.
For anyone that has used the scuttlebutt'
decided
to declare us an adult group, likely because of the political
discussions
going on in there regarding health care reform. Since 95% of the
members
are baby boomers or older, I figured it was right to allow it.
Becoming an
adult group has made it impossible to use the group page without
proving
you are over 21 by getting a Yahoo ID. This is pretty ridiculous to
people
like Art in Australia that turned 21 over 60 years ago. Yahoo had
done
good with their last upgrade which gave members thumbnails and a
link
in their mail. That gave everyone the option of not downloading
pictures
which helped those on dial-up.
There was a workaround for this on pictures anyhow up until a few
days
ago by sending pictures embedded in the email instead of attached.
Then pictures sent through Yahoo mail and others started giving
nothing
except Red X's with embedded pictures with complaints coming from
everywhere.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Married Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one
evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in
ways
he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began
moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her
shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over
her stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working
down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to
her calf.
Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost
portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right
side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a
loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
To which he responded:.
'I found the remote.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
money
http://www.thepostm
if you were my husband
http://www.thepostm
I passed
http://www.thepostm
Clinton In Cuffs
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Clinton Portrait
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Clinton Yard Sale
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Visa is everywhere you want to be, except out of debt.
The newest vitamin is made from chicken soup. It makes men cocky and
women lay better.
The Vatican has decided that it is not a sin
to kiss a nun, just don't get into the habit.
Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
It kept falling out!
Our forefathers guaranteed us the right to the pursuit of happiness.
They should have given us a few clues as to where to look.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft ... Today, it's called golf.
Q: What do you call the space between the vagina and the asshole?
A: A Chin Rest!
Q. What do you get if you cross a pit bull with Lassie?
A. A dog that chews your leg off, then fetches the doctor.
My wife and I divorced over religious differences - She thought she
was
God and I didnt.
Two ancient occupants of a geriatric nursing home were discussing
the
merits of this "newfangled" support pantyhose."Well, I don't like
them,"
said the first old dear, "because every time I fart, I blow my
slippers
off ... !"
"Don't worry if your job is small, and your rewards are few.
Remember
that the mighty oak was once a nut like you!"
I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
Bumper sticker seen on the back of a car......
"I wish my wife was this dirty!"
Smoking a cigarette shortens your life by 14 minutes.....
having sex lengthens it by 12 minutes ...... So smokers ... Screw
for
your lives!
Q. How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh?
A. Stick two fingers in his honey.
A man and his wife are watching boxing on TV. The husband sighs and
says, "I'm disappointed! It was all over in four minutes." The wife
replies, "Good! now you know how I feel."
Q:What's the best way to catch Dolly Parton in the woods?
A: Use a booby trap!
What's the similarity between a man and an uppercase Q?
They're both big fat zeroes with little dicks hanging off them.
One question to ask please. . .
If Russia was to attack Turkey from the rear- would Greece help?
Archaeologists have finally come up with an explanation as to why
man
eventually began walking upright. to free up their hands for
masturbation.
What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common
They both get loaded from the rear and go Woo-Whoo!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aids Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Sir,
I have just received the Aids leaflet through my door and would
like to apply straight away for Aids. I have been on the dole for
the past 10 years and have been living on Supplementary Benefit
and every other State aid I could get.
It now seems I will be getting aid for sex. It's a pity this Aids
has
come so late, as I already have 15 children, and wondered if you
will be paying back payments?
Your leaflet states that the more sex I have the more chance I have
of getting Aids. My only problems here is persuading the wife, who
is not too keen after 15 kids. Several years ago, I bought some sex
aids, but she showed little interest and they were hardly used.
Would there be any chance of a refund for the 17.28 paid out for
these gadgets?
Anyway I will now explain to her that the Government will be paying
us for all the sex we have, and I'm sure she'll agree that we cannot
let a chance like this slip by. You also state that I can pass on my
Aids, but as you will understand with a wife and 15 kids to feed,
there won't be much left to pass on. If, by any chance, there is a
bit
left, though, I will pass it on to my poor old mother-in-law who
only
has her pension.
I understand from your leaflet that I can get Aids through a blood
transfusion, and I intend to write to my local hospital straight
away
to see when I can have one. Will the Aids I get from the hospital
be deducted from the Aids I get from you? Perhaps you will write
and let me know?
I am a firm believer in getting every Aid I can from the country,
and I'm sure you'll agree that by my past performance, I do qualify
for this one. Could you let me know how much I will get paid each
time, and will it be weekly or monthly payments?
Yours faithfully,
Seamus O'Toole
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why did the lesbian cut her trip to China short?
A: She missed her native tongue.
Q: What do you say to a lesbian with no arms or legs?
A: Nice tits. Bitch.
Q: What is the politically correct name for Lesbian?
A: Vagitarian.
"Daddy, Daddy, what's a transvestite?
"Shut up and unhook my bra!"
Judi was startled to see the nonchalant way John was taking the fact
that his lady love was seen with another man.
"You said you love her and yet you saw her with another man and you
didn't knock the guy down?"
"I'm waiting," John said.
"Waiting for what?" asked Judi.
"Waiting to catch her with a smaller, skinnier guy."
What's a practical nurse?
A nurse who marries a wealthy, terminally ill patient.
What did the blonde guy say to the large-breasted waitress after
reading her name tag? "What did you name the other one?"
How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb? None!
They
NEVER get the house!
Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Because peeing in the bath is disgusting!
How many lawyers does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Goat Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guy gets shipwrecked on an island. He finds that is it inhabited by
all males. After a couple of days, he asks what they do for fun, and
the men tell him, that once a month, they go to the back of the
island, take a rowboat, and go to the island across the bay that has
goats on it, and they have their way with them.
The guy is in disbelief, and says "I'll pass on that"
A few months go by, and the day of the trip across the island, he is
the first on the boat, and the first one out of the boat when they
get there, and runs up and starts making love to this goat. Well,
all the rest of the guys are laughing their head off.
He turns and asks what the hell are they laughing at, and the guys
say, "Well, you were the first to get out here, and you picked the
UGLIEST goat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vet Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duties of a Mob Veterinarian
10> Be available for bullet removal from larger two-legged primates,
no questions asked or records kept.
9> Fix the records so it shows Fido was in your office for his
annual check-up when Jimmy Hoffa disappeared.
8> Collect stool pigeon samples.
7> Drug the ceremonial doves for rival families' weddings so they
crap all over the brides.
6> Teach Fido how to bury bones, and bury them good, capice?
5> Fix race horses.
4> Collect the monthly testicle protection money.
3> Track how many of his nine lives Mittens has left and remind
him what he needs to do if he wants to keep them.
2> Must give animals a big kiss before euthanizing them.
and the Number 1 Duty of a Mob Veterinarian.
1> Take the gun, leave the canary.
[ Copyright 2008 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Amazing Grace
http://silverandgol
ETERNAL LOVE
http://www.wtv-
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MacGyver - How To Do It!
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Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
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Movie Clips
Pub Drive
http://www.buffalos
RC Cooler
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Rubber band
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Satin Sheets
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Saying Goodbye
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Capoeira Fighter
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Cell Phone Popcorn
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Chinook Water
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Cincy Choir
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Does This Happen To You In The Morning
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you
imagine giving up your sex life and then once a
week people come in to tell you the details and
highlights of theirs?
After several unsuccessful advances, the bachelor
asked his blonde and alluring but standoffish
date "Do you shrink from making love?"
"If I did," she sighed, "I'd be a midget."
The divorce court was attentive as the wife
complained to the Judge that her husband had left
her bed and board. When she had finished, the
husband's lawyer rose to his feet and coolly
replied,
"Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the
typing of the charging documents. My client
claims that he left her bed 'bored'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
blood pressure
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blove
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blow
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blow 2
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blow kenny
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blow drying
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Observed a young lady named Carr,
A phallus is like a cigar,
But to most common people,
A phallic church steeple,
Is stretching a good thing too far.
A young man from a lofty sierra
Found sex both a puzzle and terror.
But he met with a lass
In a similar pass
And they both learned--by trial and error.
A young wife without memorandum,
Made appointments completely at random
Since if two dates got mixed
It was easily fixed
By letting them screw her in tandem
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old woman was taken to a gynecologist for the
very first time, and of course the gynecologist
was a very young and handsome fellow. The doctor
was very thorough in his examination, and of
course the old woman was quite embarrassed
throughout the whole examination. Finally, the
exam was over and the doctor told her to get
dressed and come in to his office to talk about
his findings.
The old woman listened intently as the doctor
gave her the results. She then said she really
only had one question for him.
The doctor said, "What is the question you have?"
"Tell me young man, does your mother know how you make a living?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To get acquainted with his new parish, the new Priest decided to
call
on a new parishioner every day until he got to know most of them.
One
day he selected a young widow, whose husband, according to the index
card supplied him by the parish office, had died two years ago.
After
knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in
her arms.
He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking
for
the widow Smith."
"You've found her Father," smiled the lady.
"Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over
two
years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms.
"That's correct Father," she replied. "He surely did. But I didn't."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1676
Katie's Ideas Continued
Katie: Okay how about this idea, it is great for kids.
BJ: What is it?
Katie: Sugar coated toothpaste! It will sell great.
BJ: Yes, it would, but it would kill teeth.
Katie: It would?
BJ: Alas, it would.
Katie: Next?
BJ: Next.
Katie: During those hot days riding an motorcycle, how about an
air conditioner on your motorcycle?
BJ: How would you keep the air cool?
Katie: You could build a compartment around where you ride keeping
the air inside.
BJ: Then it would not be a motorcycle. Next.
Katie: How about this system I wrote that would report power
failures
via the net.
BJ: Think about this Katie. If there is a power failure, you
system
is down, how can it report a power failure.
Katie: Oh!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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