Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
High gas prices got you down?
When were you last in Sault Ste. Marie Michigan ?
It's either time for you to come back and see what's new or time for you to
come see what a great vacation spot the Sault really is!
Travel close to home by planning a trip this summer. Visit these 2 websites
for good information about the Sault and some great coupons and e-Specials:
www.saultstemarie.
www.saultstemarie.
buffalo says.. Come visit the land of the buffalo this summer. Great camping
and
hotels, Great Lake fishing and site seeing, and above all we are cooler than
the
rest of the country. We see 90 degree temperatures a couple of times a
summer,
not everyday from March through November.
I was listening to our state representative going on and on about attempts
to
balance the state budget Friday morning The new plan consists of Let's cut
back the sentencing guidelines and drop the prison population, especially
those senior citizens in prison that we spend 30 million for health care
each year. So let me get this straight, we are going to tell a murdering,
bank robbing , sex offender, " You're 65 and sick so go home and try to
stay out of trouble." Another comment, " The faster we can get an offender
out of prison, the better the chances are of rehabilitation.
but most prisoners have a long list of offenses leading up to their prison
terms and if they needed rehabilitation or it was possible it should have
been done while Johnny was smoking pot not after he started selling
crack to school kids. Michigan does have some of the strongest sentencing
guidelines of all the states and those may need to be looked at but
if they are planning on putting a lot of lifers out on the street they ought
to
send them to another state. Someplace where they can find jobs or maybe to
Mexico or India.
Have a good weekend... buffalo
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Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a village in South America there was a young man who was what some
people call a Casanova, good with the ladies. He had all kinds of
ladies. He liked them all, fat ones, short ones, skinny ones, didn't
matter. The trouble was that he had a true love, a virgin that he was
saving for his marriage. This innocent virgin, her name was Mary, did
not know anything about sex. Of course our Tiger of the Village wanted
to keep things that way. Well finally they were married and on the
wedding night Mary was very impressed with sex. She told her new husband
that she did not know a man was built that way. What a wonderful thing
men had to please women. Our Tiger did not want to her to think that all
men were the same, so he told her, "I tell you something, Honey, I am
the only man in the world with such a thing." She believed him.
The "Tiger" of the village was a sheep herder and had to go to the hills
for weeks at a time. He had been gone for a couple of weeks when he came
back and began to look for his new bride. When he got to their hut she
wasn't there. He then went down through the village looking for her.
"Mary, Mary, where are you?" Finally he meets up with her on the street.
Mary appears to be very angry and frustrated. "You son-a-bitch, bastard,
cabron, desgrasiado, no good for nothing" and begins to hit and fight
with him. "Hey whoa, what's the matter baby, what did I do? I didn't do
nothing why you mad at me?" our tiger asks.
Mary says, "Yeah, you asshole, you know Sancho, the lazy one from across
the street? Well he has one also" and she points to his genitals. Our
hero thinks about it, she must have seen this guy taking a leak, shit I
can fix this. "Hey Honey, I tell you something, you know what? Sancho he
is my best friend, I used to have two of them and since Sancho is my
friend, I give him one," he is all smiles and goes over to hug Mary.
Mary is now angrier and begins to clobber the shit out of him. "You dumb
ass, pendejo, stupido, ignorante," she yells at him, "YOU GAVE HIM THE
BEST ONE."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Metaphor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
20> His body was hard -- not hard like Milosevic, the
Serbian strongman, but hard like the marble on your
shower floor, when you fall and bang your knee.
19> Her shoulders heaved like the tiny sobs of Snuggles
the cat being run through with a roasting spit.
18> Her embrace made his manhood swell like week-old
roadkill on hot asphalt in the Georgia sun.
17> Her petticoats dropped to the ground, rustling
like a cockroach in a sugar bowl.
16> As she kissed her way down his manly chest, he
felt his Amalgamated Crane Company stock increasing
in value.
15> Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog.
14> ...then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the
windshield of a Porsche on the Autobahn.
13> Her breasts heaved like a stormy ocean, and her pointed
nipples were like hypodermics washed up on the shore.
12> With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a
yield sign
-- yet she could NOT!
11> He tore open her blouse like a Publisher's
Clearing House letter in which he, and some guy named
Steven Bouber from Stockton, California, were
potential finalists for the ten million dollar prize.
10> His manhood stood at full attention, stiff and
stony like the vice president.
9> Sleekly malevolent, driven by a violent hunger,
Donovan glided through the chum-filled waters of the
singles bar, oblivious to the remora of Annabelle's
adoring gaze.
8> Like the wind, she ran, her breasts lurching like
a motor boat over a wake, and then, as fluid as a
fine imported transmission, she whipped out her
man-organ and pissed away his dreams.
7> Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he
moved his face toward her happy meal.
6> With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic
after Thanksgiving dinner.
5> He Beatty-ed her shamelessly, making her squeal
like Ned and hallucinate like Warren.
4> He awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double
tall loin latte. "Starbuck!" I cried.
3> His chest was her pillow, and oh, did she drool.
2> Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a
helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his
gas-powered leaf blower.
and TopFive.com'
or Simile...
1> His finger, weathered and rough from years on the
ranch, danced in and out of his nose like a slimy
ballerina.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman goes to see her Podiatrist. She says, "Doc, I just got back
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A Mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from
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have baby airplanes?" The kid's mother not feeling like thinking up
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always pulls out on time. Have your Mommy explain that to you."
Via Stan Kegel
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War Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday I heard a dude on tv say to prepare for war as you would
prepare for a hurricane...
So here's how we used to get ready down in Lousyanna:::
Get two ice chests and fill one with beer and the other with cokes.
Find all the hurricane lanterns and go get some kerosene.
Find all the candles you can.
Bring in any possible projectile items from you yard.
Fill a bathtub with water.
Never open the fridge or freezer while the electricity is off.
Eat all the ice cream up immediately.
Find the camping stove.
Get as many friends over as possible.
Tell them to BYOB.
PAR-TAY till ya pass out or puke.
Don't forget to go outside during the storm so you can
experience the high winds.
I just can't see how this will work during a nuclear attack or any
other kinda attack???
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young couple went to the doctor for their annual physical exams.
Afterwards, the doctor called the young man into his office and told him
that he had some good news and some bad news. "The good news," he explained,
"is that your wife has an particular strain of gonorrhea that I have only
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"If that's the good news, then what the hell is the bad news?" "Well," the
doctor elaborated, "the bad news is that I heard about this nasty strain
just last week from my dog's vet."
Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said
to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".
"Why is that?" said the other tramp.
"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found $20. I went
into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."
The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest
guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago,
and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied
her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."
"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow
job, too?"
"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."
Two necrophiliacs are at work in the morgue. One of them turns to the other
and says, "You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They
pulled her out of the water after she'd been there for three weeks. Man, I'm
tellin' you, her clit was just like a pickle."
"What," the other asks, "green?".
"No," says the first, " a bit sour."
Nancy
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices
his friend has a huge penis. "Damn Bob, you're hung!" Jim exclaims.
"I wasn't always this impressive, I had to work for it." "What do you
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day with butter?" "Well, butter is expensive, so I've been using
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shortening!"
This sex researcher phones one of the participants in a recent survey
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the question on frequency of intercourse you answered 'twice weekly.'
Your wife, on the other hand, answered 'several times a night.'"
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until our second mortgage is paid off."
A lovely young thing entered a doctor's office on her lunch hour and
addressed a handsome young man in a white coat. "I've had a pain in
my shoulder for a week. Can you help me?" "Lie down on this table,"
he said, "and I'll massage it for you." After several minutes, the
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young man smiled and replied: "No, and I'm not a doctor, either."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ghost Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the
supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here
believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any
of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone
here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their hands.
"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three
students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one
question further.....
in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his
glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving
this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got
to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his
way up to the podium.
The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."
The student replies, "Ghost? Damn..... From back there I thought you said
'goats'!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fishing With Moses
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old age
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man from Australia,
Who painted his arse like a Dahlia.
The artwork was fine,
The painting divine,
But the smell was a bit of a failure.
____________
The climax, when Josie engages,
Is postponed for what seems to be ages.
Out of self-preservation
And to banish frustration
She has three or four fellows--in stages.
____________
There once was a lady from Spain
Who carried a whip and a chain
She beat me a lot
'Coz I'm a dumb sot
And gave me a horrible pain
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
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PROUD father of an American Soldier
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy is really horny, but all he has is two dollars. He goes to the
nearest whore house and says to the man working there,
"Look, I'm really horny, but all I have is two dollars. What can I get?"
"Well, the cheapest we have is one hundred dollars. But I'll cut you a deal
on two conditions. For two dollars, I'll let you go down two doors on the
right, but you have to wear a black condom, and leave the lights out!"
The horny man agrees and goes two doors down on the right with the black
condom on and the lights out. A while later he comes back out and says to
the man working there, "Man, that was the best sex I've ever had, but why
did I have to wear the black condom?"
"Well, you gotta show some respect for the dead!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl came home from a date.
Her mother had waited up for her, and when the girl walked in the door, the
mother noticed she had rice in her hair.
"Sally," she said, "you didn't tell me you were going to a wedding."
"I didn't mom," Sally replied. "I was giving a blowjob to a Chinese guy and
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 979
Bedtime
8pm and Sandi and BJ are watching a movie.
Ginger is asleep as is Rudy. Katie is crashed on
a doggie bed...almost.
Katie: Bark bark bark!
BJ: What do you want Katie?
Katie: Bark bark bark.
BJ: Do you need to go outside?
Katie: Bark bark bark!
BJ: No huh. Want on my lap?
Katie: Bark Bark Bark!
BJ: Oh, maybe you want to get in my bed?
BJ gets up and is immediately followed by Katie
to his bedroom and as he opens the door......
Zoom.. Katie jumps on the bed and lies down.
BJ: There you go girl, just rest, rest easy.
Katie: Bark bark bark!
BJ: Now what?
Katie: Bark bark bark!
BJ: Oh, I get it. You want me to go to bed now.
Katie: Grin.....
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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