[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Mon



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

SAULT STE. MARIE - City police were called to the Project Playground grounds
at 12:43 p.m. Friday, where school officials were holding down an unruly
student. According to reports, the student was attempting to bite and strike
school officials from that disadvantageous position.

Unable to calm the boy, police handcuffed him and hauled him off to Lincoln
School, where he was placed in "time out" status inside his classroom.

Buffy and I were discussing this article in the paper because the child
is one that my daughter's coworker baby-sits. Daughter says the school
and the police shouldn't have touched the kid. Ok so I guess leaving
the kid standing in a field and telling his parents to go get him was an
option but then again so is using a taser like the school officials in
Florida.
She also thinks handcuffs for an 8 year old is rude, well duct tape is
just as good if it is available.

My wife and I had a disagreement on a similar topic when Buffy was in
school. The school wanted to know that they would punish children
only if we gave them permission to do so. I was all for it but the wife
was against it and so began a long line of me getting called into the
office to discuss my child's behavior and ending up with them defending
their behavior.. I don't believe in unwarranted punishment, nor do I believe
in a teacher not being able to control her classroom.

How do you feel about the subject? Tell us and we will include your letter
in the scuttlebutt.

Be careful out there, It's Monday.. buffalo

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Balls Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What game is played by men with even shaped balls?

I'm not sure - but...

Golf is played by men with dimpled balls.

Hockey is played by men with small white balls.

Soccer is played my men with leather balls.

Tennis is played by men with furry balls.

In croquet, men hit their balls with a mallet.

In basketball, men dribble, and shoot their balls through a hoop (ouch)

In soccer, men can't use their hands to touch their balls.

Football is played with pointed balls.

Rugby players put their balls in a scrum.

Pool players are always putting their balls in pockets.

And bowlers drill 3 holes in THEIR balls!! (double ouch!)

So, what sport do you play?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Burning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30849.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/30849.htm "> Here!</a>

Hillbilly
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30848.htm
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Be Polite
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30847.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/30847.htm "> Here!</a>

Back To Life
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/029.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/029.htm"> Here </a>

Something In His Shorts http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/030.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/030.htm"> Here </a>

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Ministry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If Jesus were to do His same ministry on earth today,
He would be wanted by...

the FDA for turning water into wine without a license,

the EPA for killing fig trees,

the AMA for practicing medicine without a license,

the Dept. of Health for asking people to open graves,
for raising the dead and for feeding 5,000 people
in the wilderness,

the NEA for teaching without a certificate,

OSHA for walking on water without a life-jacket and
for flying without an airplane,

the SPCA for driving hogs into the sea,

the National Board of Psychiatrists for giving advice on
how to live a guilt-free life,

and by the ZONING DEPT for building mansions
without a permit.

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Honeymoon Chips
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On his honeymoon, a very thick redneck farmer, Billy Joe, insisted on
having a room at the luxury hotel with a balcony overlooking the sea.

On retiring for the night after the wedding, his new bride emerged from
the bathroom dressed in some very sexy lingerie.

"Hey Billy Joe, come in off the balcony and see what I have waiting for
you to savor for the first time" she said coyly.

"No thanks, I want to sit out here," he said.

So Daisy sat down brushing her golden hair for 10 minutes after which
she invited Billy Joe once more to come in off the balcony to take
pleasure of her virginal body. Once more he refused. Eventually Daisy
grew tired of waiting and she retired to the wedding bed and fell
asleep.

In the morning, she awoke to find him still sitting on the balcony.

"Why did you spend the whole night out there when you could have been
making love all night?" she asked.

"Well my pa said the first night of my marriage would be the most
beautiful night of my whole life - and I didn't want to miss a moment of
it."

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then
goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"

Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don't make
corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now.
That's the policy of this bank !"

Customer: "Well, okay. Just thought you'd like to know you gave me
twenty dollars too much. Bye. "

I have a brother who was on a plane that had taken off and was
approaching cruising altitude, when one of the flight attendants came on
the public-address system. She announced that she was sorry, but the
plane's restroom was out of order. The flight attendant went on to
apologize to the passengers for any inconvenience. But then she finished
cheerily with: "So, as compensation, free drinks will be served."

Last time Bill was in the hospital, he really enjoyed
himself: Patting the bottoms of the pretty nurses,
offering to show them his circumcision scar, and the
like. One nurse finally had all she could stand of his
crude behavior and said, "A pervert like you should
be living in a whore house!"

Bill grinned at her and said, "Well, it WOULD be
cheaper than here, but I can't get my insurance to
pay for it."

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my
long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch,
grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the
garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. There was snow mixed with the
rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph.

I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would
be bad throughout the day. I went back into
the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
back into bed there I cuddled up to my wife's
back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, "The weather out there is terrible,
but I made it."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that weather.."

*************************

"Things To Remember"

To truly love another, you must first love yourself.
And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in
between either.

When it becomes a crime to love, you should
probably consider dating outside the family.

A little bit of love goes a long way in our lives.
It can provide us with higher highs and lower
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They say a smile is a gift which is free to the
giver and precious to the recipient. But giving
the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal
and sincere.

We cannot see the future. We cannot change the
past. We can only live in the now with an eye
towards gaining enough power in the future to
wreak revenge on everyone who ever screwed
us in the past.

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Boot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This lady goes into a bar in Waco and sees this cowboy
with his feet propped upon a table. He had the biggest
boots she'd ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if
it's true what they say about men with big feet.

The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady! Why
don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove
it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent
the night with him. The next morning she handed him a
$100 bill.

Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real
flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services
before."

The woman replied, "Don't be flattered... take the money
and buy yourself some boots that fit."

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Movies

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http://buffalosjokes.com/112486.htm

Juggler
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Heroes
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Need Glasses
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Tell Your Friend
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Burning Parachute
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Ring My Bell
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dictionary

A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dict-
ionary for the hardest words they knew.

The brunette's word was quizzical.

The redhead's word was photosynthesis.

The blonde's word was dick.

----------------

Checkup

Bernie took his wife Sadie to see a psychiatrist for a
check up.

After examining her, the doctor took Bernie to one side
and said, "I have some very bad news for you. There is
nothing I can do to help your wife. Her mind has
completely gone."

"I'm not really surprised," Bernie replied, "Sadie's
been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 50
years."

----------------

Favorite sex positions

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their
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One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have ever heard of that one", says the
other cowboy, "what is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down on all
fours, and you mount her from behind, and you reach
around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands,
and then you whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just
like your sister's" and then you try to hold on for 8
seconds."

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Toon Chips
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Cram
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No Place Like Home
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Notes
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Back To Life
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T-Shirt Shop
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This Is Glue!...
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She called them her sweet little cherries
But they were really gems like two rubies. -
And got as hard as that precious red stone -
T'was cuz of them she was so well known -
Those big nips on her bodacious boobies

There was a girl who was a terrible bore
It was unfortunate but she couldn't score.
So one day just to please her socket,
She surreptiously mounted a rocket
And she came with one colossal roar

Irish Warlock

There once was a girl named Strait
Whose pussy smelled like bait!
Whenever Jeff pounds her
The room reeks of flounder
Her twat, she should refrigerate
_______________________________________

There was a young girl from Wick
Who said, "Mother what is a Dick?"
She said, "My dear Annie,"
It goes in your fanny
And it jumps up and down till its sick!"
<Snagged by>

Ross

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman walks into a bar and orders two shots.
She downs the first one..."This is for the
shame", and then the second one..."This is for
the glory."

She then orders two more shots. She drinks the
first one..."This is for the shame" and then the
second one... "This is for the glory."

She is about to order two more shots when the
bartender stops her. "Ma'am, I was just
wondering...what's this about shame and glory?"

"Well," she replies, "I like to do my housework
naked. But when I bent over to pick something up,
my Great Dane mounted me from behind."

"That must be the shame," the bartender said.

"No, that was the glory. The shame is when we
got knotted together and he dragged me around the
front yard for forty minutes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.

The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes,
he hides underneath the bed."

The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so
scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with
the lady next door."

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 974

The Trap

Rudy: This is a good plan Sandi, dressing Katie up like a
kitty kat.

Katie: I don't like it one little bit.

Sandi: We have to Katherine. Sly is injured, Miss Kitty is
too old. You are the smallest of us dogs, true you would
make a huge cat...chuckle but try and think small.

Ginger: Purr Katie...LOL

Katie: You little twit. I am doing this to help get rid of the
monster. There how do I look?

Sandi: You are the largest Siamese I have ever seen. Okay
go outside and hang out. Rudy will crawl under the RV, I will
hide behind the trashcans, and Ginger will hide behind Dad's
car.

later....evening falls.....

EOOOWWW!!!!

Katie knees knocking....: What was that?

Sandi: Shhh!

Monster Cat: Oh boy look at the size of that cat,,,more food.

Katie: Come on guys help me!

Sandi: zzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Rudy: Let's go guys!

Sandi: G R O W L !!!!

Ginger: ATTACK!!

Katie: I will go in the house and phone 911!

BAM! SLUG! BITE! SCRATCH!

Later....

Sandi: Whew, that took all of my fighting skills.

Rudy: That was one tough animal.

Ginger: What do we do with the body?

Sandi: I have an idea...

Later....

BJ: Let's take our coffee outside Diana..

Diana: Sure..and read the paper.

BJ: Ack! Look on the flagpole, is that a bobcat?

Diana: I wonder who put it up there?

Rudy/Sandi smiling....

The herd in Guthrie
(I don't know what is hurting my pets, but I can
kill em here)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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