[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S COORNER

 



If you worry about what might be, and wonder
what might have been, you will ignore what is



welcome to
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER


GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

I AM THANKFUL  
 
FOR THE WIFE  
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT SOMEWHERE ELSE.
 
FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.  
 
FOR THE TEENAGER  
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.
 
FOR THE TAXES I PAY  
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.
 
FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG  
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK  
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE
 
FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.
 
FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
 
FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.  
 
FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.
 
FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.
 
FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.
 
FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.
 
FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS  
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.  
 
AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL  
BECAUSE  IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME .

we do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman




____________________
MEMES N TOONS

married a long time
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0106.html

going to the store
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0107.html

for a good time
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0108.html

dumping a body
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0109.html

she is hardcore
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0110.html

money does not buy happiness
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0111.html

not going tonight
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0112.html

never get tired of looking at them
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0113.html

life of the party
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0114.html

the Sandiego Zoo
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0115.html

don't park at firehydrants
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0116.html

I told you
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0117.html

beware of dog
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0118.html

before and after
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0119.html
                                                
no smoking in the car
http://thepostmanscorner.net/toon12a/ww0120.html

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Instead,
there would just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
Did you know that a group of baboons is called a congress? That explains a lot now doesn't it.
My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
What's the difference between a flying pig and a politician? The letter F.
Don't steal, don't lie and don't cheat. The government hates competition.
What's the difference between a politician and a catfish? One is a bottom-
dwelling scum-sucker, and the other one is a fish.
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
What's the difference between death and taxes?
Death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? Senator.
My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it's only good in theory.
What do you call a Democratic buffet? A free for all.
The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!
It was so cold today, a politician had his hands in his own pockets!
A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet.
What happens when you give viagra to lawyers? They grow taller.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be
changed regularly and for the same reason.


________________
JOKES

a second grade teacher is explaining biology to her students
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0031.html

James I like your beard
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0032.html

husband went to the doctor
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0033.html

the unintended proposal
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0034.html

the old guy working out at the gym
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0035.html

acting like a flamingo
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0036.html

a psychotic named Jane
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0037.html

Moses had the first one
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0038.html

doctor is going fishing and leaves assistant in charge
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0039.html

tells your weight and fortune
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0040.html

you come from dust
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0041.html

frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0042.html

cowboy rides into town and stops at the saloon
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0043.html

little boy sent to a catholic school
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0044.html

guy stole a calendar
http://thepostmanscorner.net/joke9b/rr0045.html



______________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Lightning Striking Tree in 4K - Tree Catches on Fire !!!
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0046.html

Star Spangled Banner As You've Never Heard It
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0047.html

The Worlds Funniest Police Officer. Kevin Jordan - Full Special
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0048.html

The Accidental Ornithologist Stand Up Special FULL CUT NEW
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0049.html

Cops Pull Parents Over So Military Son Can Surprise Them After Deployment
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0050.html

Life's better when you're fat. Josh Sneed - Full Special
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0051.html

How Astronauts Use The Bathroom
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0052.html

Weddings gone wrong
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0053.html

Hydroplaning Dolphins | Planet Earth | BBC Studios
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0054.html

Vacationing Tourist Pranks - Best of Just for Laughs Gags
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0055.html

Great Barrier Reef | Exploring Oceans
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0056.html

America's Got Talent 2020 (QUARTER-FINALS) Got Talent Global
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0057.html

Burger Kings! - Beavis And Butthead | MTV
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0058.html

UK Border Agency Finds Loads of Hidden Cash! | Border Patrol
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0059.html

Crazy Lady With Road Rage
http://thepostmanscorner.net/movie9c/zz0060.html
__________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR

eight kinds of women orgasms
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0106.html

when I stand up fast
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0107.html

pumkin spice flavor
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0108.html

blonde woman speeding down the road
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0109.html

magician
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0110.html

a rental car
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0111.html

kicked out of the hospital
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0112.html

I never cared
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0113.html

she pointed two at me
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0114.html

a wedding ring
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0115.html

the vaccine
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0116.html

do not let them
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0117.html

you have a dirty mind
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0118.html

getting older sneaks up on you
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0119.html

your reaction when
http://thepostmanscorner.net/humor003/ee0120.html

That's all folks
Have a nice day
FROM
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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