 | | December 21, 2018 | Kathleen Fanto, Untitled #01, available as a print
| | This year A look back at a few things I wrote in 2018: The case for taco pizza, old-fashioned hobbies that never become Etsy stores, and retiring the term "self-made." When the holes in the social safety-net are exposed by feel-good hashtags. A thing I wrote about men in the wake of #MeToo allegations that still sums up a lot of what I feel about this moment. A profile of Glennon Doyle, which is really about how one well-known white woman is using her platform to talk about race and justice. (Allow me to be salty for a moment: I liked my feature better than the piece with the same headline that ran eight months later.) On women, faking it til you make it, and the deliberate deceptions of Elizabeth Holmes. Profiles of Allison Janney, Slick Woods, and Kim Deal, and lunch with Jonathan Gold, may he rest in delicious power. And, of course, my recent treatise on how Ghostbusters 2 explains the Trump era. On the podcast, we're talking about friendship meet-cute stories this week—and they are indeed very cute. Some of my favorite episodes this year included a look at white fragility, our pooptacular, a taxonomy of scammers, Gina's exploration of bisexuality, and a hard look at what happens when women and self-described feminists are accused of abusing power. Plus our interviews with the incredible gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams, comic Cameron Esposito, Senator Kamala Harris, National Domestic Workers Alliance director Ai-jen Poo, the ladies of Hey Ladies!, and Iranian activist and journalist Masih Alinejad. Not to mention that blood drive and our tour. It's been A Year.
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| | Podcasts I loved this year - The Dream. I've long been fascinated by the persistence of multilevel marketing scams, and this deep dive does not disappoint. Also: A prestige reported-audio project that is not centered on living men or dead women! Huzzah!
- And on a related scam-investigation note... The 30-for-30 series on Bikram yoga. Wow.
- Queerly Beloved, which is always a powerful and emotional listening experience. I loved being drawn into every single one of these unconventional love stories.
- Everything Is Alive, Forever 35, and Thirst Aid Kit, when I just needed a break from it all.
- LA Podcast, when I wanted to tap into my city a little more.
- The Cut on Tuesdays, which feels like the audio equivalent of reading The Cut. Quite the feat, as magazines don't always translate to podcasts easily.
- No Man's Land. Turns out, I love history when it's not completely focused on white men and wars. Alexis Coe is great.
- 70 Million, Ear Hustle, and Justice in America, which together have taught me so much about crime and justice (and lack thereof) in this country.
- The Shadows, which I was so fascinated by as an example of what can happen when you take new-narrative principles and apply them to audio.
| | GIFspiration  My holiday break begins in earnest today.
| | What I learned in 2018 - "Anger isn't action and misery isn't solidarity," via Beth Pickens. (This lesson is also available in the form of a very cute illustrated print by Nicole J. Georges.) I use this wisdom as the push I need to put my phone down and actually do something with my anger and despair.
- "The number one goal is to create stuff for the world." via Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Ok, I howled when I read this quote. I thought it was a parody of the worst tech-bro inspo-tweet you could imagine. But then I thought about it and now, months later, I think it might be genius?
- How to take a better selfie, via a crucial in-person tutorial by Dodai Stewart. Basically, you don't hold the phone up super high, you just angle the bottom of your phone away from your body. I screamed when she showed me. How did I not know this???
- Tsundoku is the Japanese word for buying books and letting them pile up unread. I also apply this term to putting library holds on books that I know I won't have time to read before they're due back.
- Quick-pickling! A game-changer for my 2018 salads and veg-bowls. Often now, the first thing I do in meal prep is thin-slice onions or shallots, put them in a ramekin, cover them with vinegar and add a dash of sugar and salt. By the time the rest of the food is ready, they're deliciously pickly.
- Moonmoons are a thing.
- "When you let people in you give them power over you. That is the gift and the risk." via Stacy-Marie Ishmael
- Wearing a cheap digital watch and looking at my phone less. (Yes, I mentioned this last week, too.)
- Who cares whether you're the best? Be the most fun. (via Adam Rippon, who delivered a master class in how to be a beloved public figure in 2018.)
- If you burn your skin trying an at-home facial peel you received for free, just smear your face with full-fat yogurt and it'll feel better in no time.
- "Everyone is problematic because nobody perfect. Get over it. If you think 'problematic' means an eternal dragging party, how exactly are you different than the punishment based oppressive society we have now?" via Phoenix Calida.
- Giving blood is a super easy thing for me to do that makes me feel better about being a human being in this flawed world. Related lesson: My blood type is A-.
- CBD rub really works for menstrual cramps! This is so duhhh (I know most of you have been aware of this forever) but it took me until this year to try it myself.
- It's never too late to speak your truth or pursue justice. (via everyone who's put their life and reputation on the line to tell the truth about people who have abused their power.)
- all that you touch
you change
all that you change
changes you
the only lasting truth
is change
god
is change
- Octavia Butler
| | What you learned in 2018 - It's ok to make mistakes.
- You can survive the things you are scared of.
- Medicating for your mental health stuff isn’t scary and has been the best thing you've done for yourself in a long time.
- Networking at a professional event outside of your industry leads to better connections and collaborations.
- Marriage is as hard as they say.
- Capitalism is even worse than you thought.
- She who judges will be judged back.
- Don't trust IUDs.
- It can take time to love a child, you are not always instantly in love right after you give birth.
- Write out goals at the beginning of a collaboration so everyone is clear.
- You're a lot more lovable than you believe yourself to be.
- How to keep plants alive: Just pay attention to them, dummy.
- Lime juice on skin+sun=acid burn! 😱
- Face masks work with all moods.
- Self-indulgence is not self-compassion.
- Everything you need to know to survive is right here in your body.
- Keeping the focus on yourself -- and trying to understand why you're scared -- is the key to cutting 90% of your problems down to size.
- If you don't ask for it, you're not going to get it. Assertiveness will get you pretty far!
- Be extremely careful when making medical appointments that the provider takes your specific kind of insurance.
- Success is so much easier when people are cheering for you and helping it along.
- You cannot go back in time and start something earlier, so just do the best with where you're at now.
- Sometimes the build up to a change is much scarier than change itself.
- You will think you cannot stand it a minute longer. You can.
- That some things are worth waiting for.
| | What you rediscovered in 2018 A list of your old favorites, made new again in the light of this year:
Hot Cheetos. Michael Jackson. Volunteering. MRE tasting videos. Going to the movie theater. (Shoutout/RIP to MoviePass.) Having a Jewish community to be a part of! Walking in nature. Warm socks. The joy of the local library. Marranitos (Mexican Gingerbread Pigs). The beauty of mentee-mentor relationships. Virginia Woolf. Flannery O'Connor. Dansko clogs. New York City. Stargazing. Pho—you can't get enough of that slurpy goodness. Your relationship, even though you've been in it a long time and five years ago you were on the brink of splitting up. Cutting your hair off again. (You don't know why you even bothered growing it out.) The pleasure that can be found in making a fabulous homemade dinner. Epic, sweaty all-lady dance parties. Long-ass books (like, over 500 pages). The Bhagavad Gita in the original Sanskrit. Also, abolitionist history. Wearing makeup. Exercise as a way to manage terrifying changes. The unadulterated joy of making something. A t-shirt, a 36,000 stitch cross-stitch, an essay, an audio documentary, a batch of scones. That kpop is life. All the angsty emo music you listened to in middle school. Drawing in bed. Sunday dinners. Dancing like fools in the kitchen together. Boundaries. Friends make life worth living.
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