Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily
activity level, and so I described a typical day this way:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison
ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive
rattlesnake and took four "leaks" behind big trees."
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an
outdoors man!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."
_____________

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she
needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should
be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right now!'
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
__________________

A young Navy Officer was in a bad car accident, but due to the heroics
of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one
ear. Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military
and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was
always sensitive about his appearance.
One day the Admiral was interviewing three Master Chiefs for the
Command Master Chief position.
The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great
interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you
notice anything different about me?"
The Master Chief answered, "Why yes. I couldn't help but notice you
are missing your starboard ear, so I need to know whether this impacts
your hearing on that side." The Admiral got very angry at this lack of
tact and threw him out of his office.
The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same
question, answered, "Well yes, you seem to be short one ear." The
Admiral threw him out also.
The third interview was with a Seabee Master Chief. He was articulate,
extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the other two Master
Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with
the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise the Seabee Master Chief said, "Yes. You wear contact lenses."
The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly
tactful Master Chief. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.
The Seabee Master Chief replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear
glasses with only one fucking ear."
_______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

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