THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Sweet memories are the paradise of the mind.
______________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Everyone Has A Chance To Be Successful
People often handle life as they do bad weather.
They while away the time waiting for it to stop.
Yet the tide of opportunity comes to everyone.
Opportunity knocks all the time,
but you've got to be ready for it.
When your chance comes,
you must have the equipment to take advantage of it.
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
for time and chance happen to everyone.
Take a second look at what appears
to be someone's "good luck."
You'll find not luck but preparation,
planning and success-producing thinking.
When you're prepared for opportunity
your chance for success is sure to come.
The season of failure is the best time
for sowing the seeds of success.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
crossing fingers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w001.html
hell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w002.html
decisions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w003.html
bought the drums
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w004.html
sex of a fish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w005.html
diets work
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w006.html
outsourcing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w007.html
my wife
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w008.html
oops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w009.html
________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
F1 Simulator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9462.html
All-mom Rock Band
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9463.html
these guys can dance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9464.html
Fred Astair
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9465.html
the new Johnny Cash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9466.html
farm fresh
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9467.html
new bra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9468.html
__________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
nostalgia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd010.html
secrets of old age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd011.html
different sex positions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd012.html
beer on the shelf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd013.html
A farmer buys a cute little filly that he plans
on racing next season, but when he gets her home,
his old stallion smells her and wants her and starts
kicking up dust. The farmer doesn't want her
knocked up, because she won't be able to race,
so he calls the vet.The vet tells him to tie a
bed sheet around the philly's rump to keep the
stallion away. So that day, the farmer does just that.
The next day, the farmer goes out to the corral to
make sure the vet's solution worked, but the filly's
nowhere to be found. The farmer follows her hoof trail
to the neighbor's farm, and sees the neighbor's kid
out by their barn."Hey boy, did you see a filly run by
with a bed sheet tied around her rump?" the farmer asks.
The kid replies, "No sir, but one dashed past here
early this morning with a handkerchief sticking out
of her ass!"
_____________
One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft
below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he
was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined
him a few minutes later. The diver went down another
25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof
chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you
able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver
had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"
_____________
A woman army driver, after a long drive arrived at her
destination, a remote camp, at midnight. The sergeant on
duty showed her where to leave the vehicle, and then said,
"Where will you sleep tonight?"
She said, "Well, the only thing I could do is to sleep in
the cab."
The sergeant thought for a moment and said, "It's a cold
night, tell you what, you can have my bunk if you like,
I'll sleep on the floor."
The girl eagerly accepted the offer. After the girl turned
in, she felt sorry for the sergeant sleeping there on the
cold hard floor, and offered him to squeeze in alongside
of her on the bunk.
Without much ado, the sarge got in and then said, "Do you
want to sleep single or married?"
The girl giggled and said, "It'd be nice if we slept
'married', don't you?"
"Well okay, if that's what you want, we'll sleep 'married'
then," he said turning his back on her and fell asleep.
________________
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to
spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast
of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary,
"I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life,
sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very
nice indeed, John!" Mary said.The next day, Mary ran
into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize
the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised
meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last
four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had
to pull him by the ears to make him come."
______________
Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to a sex therapist who promised
to only take their case if he knew he could help them.
After hours of tests, he agreed he could help. He told
them to stop at the store on the way home and buy donuts
and grapes. Mrs. Smith was to toss the donuts at Mr.Smith's
erection and eat the ones that stayed on. Mr.Smith was to
roll the grapes across the floor and eat the ones that
became lodged in Mrs.Smith's love canal.
A few weeks later, the Jones' came to see the doctor.
"Our friends the Smiths told us to come to you." they said.
The doctor ran the tests and came back to the Jonses'.
He told them he was sorry but there was just nothing he
could do. The Jonses' said "You helped the Smith's, why
won't you help us?" After continued begging from the Jonses',
the doc said "ok,ok...stop by the market on the way home and
buy a box of Cheerios and a bag of oranges."
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Anillocompromiso
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjhgkhl.htm
Arab
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtuhiuuh.htm
Baby Boomers Battle
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtdfhgujghjh.htm
___________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Levis Commercial
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000897.html
Levitating Water
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000898.html
Licking Copy Machine
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000899.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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