THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"If you have an ounce of common sense and one
good friend you don't need an analyst."
...Joan Crawford
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
PORTLAND, Maine (AP) - About two dozen women drew a
crowd of onlookers when they shed their shirts and
marched downtown in Maine's largest city to promote
what they call equal-opportunity public toplessness.
Organizer Ty MacDowell said the point of Saturday's march
in Portland was that a topless woman out in public
shouldn't attract any more attention than a man who
walks around without a shirt.
While it would be nice to think that would be true,
our organizer, Ty, forgets one thing. A naked tit
just turns you on. So you can't help it. You see one,
you get a boner. Lets face it.
That is just how it is. There are just some reactions
that are gonna happen. For example, by comparison, lets
say I decided to walk around without my top.
Certain behaviour could likely be expected also.
Very likely, someone would walk up to me and offer
me money to put it back on.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
no swimming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u010.html
swollen
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u011.html
a threesome
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u012.html
I don't care
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u013.html
a stickup
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u014.html
life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u015.html
honestly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u016.html
whats a matter?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u017.html
yes mother
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u018.html
neighbor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u019.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
"Are you drinking tonight?"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9388.html
Carol Burnette...went with the wind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9389.html
E TRADE-BABY TEARS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9390.html
David Letterman:Jay Thomas' "Lone Ranger" Story
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9391.html
Amazing One-Man-Band Street Performer in Croatia (Cigo Man Band)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9392.html
Old Man and a Tree
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9393.html
spare panties...just in case
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9394.html
One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," the Lord said.
Adam looked at the Lord and said, "Well, give me the
good news first."Smiling, the Lord explained, "I've got
two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will
allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have
intelligent conversations with Eve.
The other is a sex organ. It will give you great physical
pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now-intelligent
life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very
happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts
you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news
after such great tidings?"The Lord looked upon Adam and
said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use
these two gifts at the same time."
_____________
A middle aged man was visibly shaken when his Doctor
advised that he had only six month's to live because of
a terminal disease that was detected during a recent
physical check-up. The Doctor suggested that he should
get his "house in order", make sure his will was current
and ensure all final arrangements were in place for the
funeral. He should then make plans to enjoy what might
be left of his life, to the fullest. "What will you do
for the last six months?" asked the Doctor.
His patient thought for a few minutes then replied, "I
think I'll go and live with my Mother-in-law".
Surprised by the answer, the Doctor asked, "Of all people,
why in the would you want to live with your Mother-in-law?"
"Because it'll be the longest six months of my life!
______________
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year-old
rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so
before and rumour had it that he was marrying a mail
order bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom
if the rumour was true. Tom assured him that it was.
The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was could see
that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be
satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old
friend's remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully
suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to
help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its
own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he
would look for one that afternoon. About four months later,
the banker ran into Tom in town again.
"How's the new wife?" asked the banker. Tom proudly said,
"Good - she's pregnant." The banker, happy that his sage
advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand?"
Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant, too."
_________
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and
his badly behaved 3-year-old grandson. It's obvious to
her that he has his hands full with the child screaming
for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit
aisle and for fruit, cereal and soft drinks in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a
controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long... Easy, boy."
Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say,
"It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll
be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out
of the cart, and Gramps says again in a controlled voice,
"William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be
home in five minutes. Stay cool, William."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather
is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said
to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you
were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That
whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how
loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying
things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as
his granddad." "Thanks, lady," said the grandfather,
"but I'm William...The little bastard's name is MELVIN."
________________
In a small country pub, all the patrons became quite
used to the pub owner's little dog being around the bar,
so they were quite upset when one day the little dog
died. Everyone met to decide how they could remember the
little dog. The decision was to cut off his tail and stick
it up behind the bar to remind everyone of the little dog's
wagging tail. The little dog went up to heaven and was about
to run through the Pearly Gates when he was stopped by
Saint Peter, who questioned the little dog as to where he
was going. The little dog said "I have been a good dog, so
I am going into heaven where I belong!" Saint Peter replied
"You can not come into heaven without a tail. Where is your
tail"? The little dogexplained what had happened back on Earth.
Saint Peter told the little dog to go back down to Earth and
retrieve his tail. The little dog protested that it was
now the middle of the night back at the pub, but Saint Peter
would not change his mind. So the little dog went back down
to Earth and scratched on the door of the pub until the
bartender who lived upstairs came down and opened the door.
"My goodness, it is the spirit of the little dog. What can I
do for you"? said the bartender. The little dog explained that
he wasn't allowed into heaven without his tail, and he needed
it back. The bartender replied "I would really like to help you,
but my liquor license doesn't allow me to...
retail spirits after hours!"
_____________
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first
day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake
and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will
be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate!" the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager.
"Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."
__________
FUN PAGES
Governor of Poker
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41725&s=n
Lake Fishing 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41577&s=n
Banned Budweiser Commercial
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40874&s=n
Mr. Bean
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20497&s=n
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Foul Ball
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjuk.htm
Fox Hat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/anmnh.htm
Fragrance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkio.htm
_______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Joulu Pukki
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000855.html
Joy Of Pepsi
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000856.html
Juggling With A Twist
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000857.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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