[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 3-26

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

First if you receive a mail like the following, don't click on the
link

Hey, some jerk has posted your pictures (u understand what kind of
pictures are there) and sent a link of them to all ur friends. I
have already replied back. Said, that he is an idiot. See the link:

It will take you to a malware site where they will attempt to gather
enough info to steal your identity or other un-neighborly type
things.
These sites are hosted on Google, Blogspot or Photobank, anywhere
they can find a free, anonymous, site to install their software.
They are
also hijacking email addresses on Hotmail etc. and sending URL's
to everyone in the address books who figure they are looking at a
buddy's
blog and then they are infected or invaded. I recommend immediately

reporting these thieves to whoever is hosting their site. Perhaps
after
enough complaints Google sites and others will police things better
than
they are right now.

Nancy heard my wonderings about binary the other night and sent me
an example.

This Buffalo is binary text. you have to remember the nibbles (0
or1), bits (combo of 4 nibbles), and bytes (2 sets of bits) to make
that 10. you won't get a full byte from 2 nibbles. =
01010100011010000110100101110011
00100000010000100111010101100110011001
100110000101101100011011110010000001101001
011100110010000001100010011010010110111001
100001011110010010000001110100011001010111
100001110100001011100010000001111001011011
110111010100100000011010000110000101110110
011001010010000001110100011011110010000001
11001001100101011011010110010101101101011000
100110010101110010001000000111010001101000
011001010010000001101110011010010110001001
100010011011000110010101110011001000000010
100000110000001000000110111101110010001100
010010100100101100001000000110001001101001
0111010001110011001000000010100001100011011
011110110110101100010011011110010000001101111
0110011000100000001101000010000001101110011
010010110001001100010011011000110010101110011
00101001001011000010000001100001011011100110
01000010000001100010011110010111010001100101
0111001100100000001010000011001000100000011
1001101100101011101000111001100100000011011110
110011000100000011000100110100101110100011100
110010100100100000011101000110111100100000011
011010110000101101011011001010010000001110100
01101000011000010111010000100000001100010011
000000101110001000000111100101101111011101010
01000000111011101101111011011100010011101110100
001000000110011101100101011101000010000001100
001001000000110011001110101011011000110110000
100000011000100111100101110100011001010010000
0011001100111001001101111011011010010000000110
010001000000110111001101001011000100110001001
101100011001010111001100101110

I just hope it does not convert on it's way over.. I didn't break
them on even 8's so they need to be put back to one continues
string.. Plus I forgot the r in the word binary.

I checked your binary Sis and in addition to the r you forgot to dot
the i.
Not bad for something you learned so long, long, ago.

Enjoy the chips... buffalo

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Buried Chips
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An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they
hated each other.

Whenever there was a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be
heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I
will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you
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practiced black magic because of the many strange occurrences that
took place in their neighbourhood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His
wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went
straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no
tomorrow.. Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't
you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of
the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?' The
wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried
upside down.' Darn women they think of everything!!!!

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Is That A Ruler In Your Pocket
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Is This The Way To Armadillo - British Version
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Is This The Way To Armadillo - Dutch Version
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sex-ed class was dismissed early when order couldn't be restored
after the teacher stated that simultaneous orgasms were mostly a
stroke of luck.

The call girl confided to her friend, "I'm afraid I'm going to have
to give up analysis." "But why? Isn't Dr. Greene helping you?"
"Yes, a lot," the call girl agreed. "Problem is, I just can't get
used to lying down for a guy and then having then having to pay
HIM."

Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies.
Bad girls know they could do it better.

The locale was a nudist colony. The boy and the girl were strolling
through the woods. Shyly his words reached her blushing ears:
"Don't look now but I think I'm falling in love with you."

The quickest way to clear out a men's restroom is to say, "Nice
dick."

Calling a nurse he knew after midnight, John said, "I really am
sorry to call you so late at night, but I have, well, an erection
that just won't subside and it occurred to me that you might know
what to do with it." "It's pretty late for a housecall," she said,
"so I suggest you take a long cold shower. If that doesn't succeed
in reducing the swelling, though, use it to dial me again."

Impotence: Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."

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Birth Chips
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A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This
is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any
questions.

She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain.
How much will childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to
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difficult to describe pain."

"I know, but can't you give me some idea?," she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."

"Like this?"

"A little more..."

"Like this?"

"No. A little more..."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head!"

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw

so he sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but
he
can't hear, so he does sign language. He points at his eye meaning
"I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and

forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor nods his head,
pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd
floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says, "What
the
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A blonde and her girlfriend went to the beach for the day. As they
wandered up and down the shoreline in their bikinis the girl-friend

began to notice that the blonde seemed to be having some difficulty

walking. The girlfriend finally said, "Did you hurt your leg or
something? You're walking very strangely." The blonde replied, "I
have a big date tonight and I've got curlers in my hair."

A girl applied for a job, and was sent to the personnel department,

presided over by a large, rather handsome man at a big desk. She was

given a form to fill out, and retired to a table in a corner of the

room with it. Most of the blanks she filled out with no great
difficulty, but presently he noticed that she seemed to be having
trouble in deciding how to answer one question. She looked him over

furtively, chewed the pen, then wrote a word or two and brought over

the card. He looked it over casually name, age, address, telephone
number; then came a space which said: "Sex. .." Here she had
written:
"Occasionally."

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A beautiful young woman is getting dressed for work one morning in
her high-rise apartment building. She glances out her fiftieth-story

bedroom window and sees a window washer outside. Thinking she will
rattle him, she slowly takes off her dress. The window washer just
goes about the business of cleaning the windows. Next, she removes
her slip in a very provocative manner. Still, the man just keeps
working away. Taking her striptease to the full extent, she takes
off
her bra and panties and begins parading around her room. The window

washer still takes no notice of her. Finally, the woman walks over
to
the window and just stands there, totally naked, staring at the man

outside her window. At last the window washer puts down his pail and

says, "What's the matter, lady, haven't you ever seen a window
washer
before?"

When one of the prostitutes passed away, the girls moped
disconsolately around the house. "Good ol' Gloria," lamented one.
"She could handle twenty men a night, drink a fifth of whiskey and
still have the strength to roll five drunks." Hearing this, one of
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A man and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he

stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You
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clearly out of breath, answered the phone. "What took you so long to

answer and why are you panting?" "I was in bed." "What in the world

are you doing in bed at this hour?" "Getting a second opinion."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Flying Chips
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An airline's passenger cabin was being
served by an obviously gay flight attendant,
who seemed to put everyone in a good
mood as he served them food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came
swishing down the aisle and announced to
the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked
me to announce that he'll be landing the big
scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you
could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a
well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't
moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me
over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise
your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us
on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country,
I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing
a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called
a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, bitch."

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Movie Links

To All Sports Loving Men This Guy Is a Genuis
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Toilet Seat Sign
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Tom Mabe
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Tomato PSA
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Toot Tone
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Topless Wife Training
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Swallowing
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Swimming
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szambr
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Telissa
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Irish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Irish farmer named Seamus had a car accident.

In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning
Seamus.

'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
fine?' asked the solicitor.

Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just
loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just
answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the
accident,I'm fine?

Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road.....'

The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying
to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man
told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks
after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a
fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and
said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about
his favourite cow, Bessie'.

Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had
just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was
driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came
through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was
thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was
hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear
old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain
just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a
motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he
went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he
took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked
at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now what the $*%~ would you say?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Limerick Chips
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A dapper young bachelor, Paul,
Quite gay, he could be found in all
The best public loos
And never refuse
Your call on the wall of the stall.

There once was a weirdo named Cox
Who loved to sniff everyone's socks.
Said he: "Sure, it's stinky,
But don't call me kinky
I'll send you back home in a box!"

There was a young person named Willie
Whose actions were what you'd call silly;
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
Pretending to represent Chile.
<Snagged by>
Ross

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Used Wife, 1959 Model

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Rear end needs major overhaul. A crack there has grown monstrously
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Needs front-end work: headlights are too close to the ground and
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May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces clouds of
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Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply.
Asking $500 or trade for 1985 model.

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get
her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came
upon a gentlemen neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of
huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do
to get your tomatoes red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a
day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my
tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." The woman was so
impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato
garden to see if it would work.
So twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden
hoping for the best. One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked
the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes
turn red?" "No"

she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1554

A Fine Wining and Dining Experience

Waiter: You menu Madam.

Tami: I would like a T-Bone Steak with a my sides being corn and

Waiter: The corn madam, corn on the cob or fresh corn?

Tami: Fresh would be fine.

Waiter: White corn or yellow corn?

Tami: Yellow.

Waiter: The second side please madam.

Tami: I think potatoes would be fine.

Waiter: Baked, Steamed, fried, mashed, or Broiled?

Tami: Mashed would be okay.

Waiter: With or without gravy?

Tami: With gravy.

Waiter: You meal comes with a salad.

Tami: Oh no!

Walter: Oh yes... the waiter unfolds a list of salad choices.

To be continued

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Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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