Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
WELCOME TO:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
So, with the advent of this big power outage, my thots
turn to the possibility of natural disaster. Outage of the
power grid, tornadoes earth quakes, and etc. Any number of
things could happen, right? And I realize I am woefully un-
prepared, So guess what? I started stock piling and getting
a panic room ready "just in case" Check out my panic room...
filled with everything you need for an emergency
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________________
MEMES N TOONS
banging on the front door
escorted out
you know what we should try
next time...its over
why not start on this one
the outboard computer
stealing cars
doggy Xmas present
staring
hot tub chilli and bubbles
redneck style firefighters
redneck leaf blowing
a mowing obstacle
girls can't remember
__________________
JOKES
he really had to pee
2 doctors
on the upper west side of NYC
a cardiac specialist died
tall woman meets a midget at a party
shaggy hair
the greatest lovers
at a childrens hospital
charged with theft
awkward questions
A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands "Gimme a
double of the strongest whiskey you got! I'm so pissed I can't even see straight!"
The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse
for wear, pours him a DOUBLE of Southern Comfort.
The man swills down the drink and says, "Gimme another ONE!".
The bartender pours the drink, but says "Now, before I give you this,
why don't you let off a little steam and tell me WHY you're so upset?"
So the man begins his tale: "Well, I was sitting in the bar next door when
this gorgeous blonde slinks in, and actually sits beside ME at the bar. I
thought WOW, this has never happened before. You know, it was kind of a
fantasy come TRUE. Well, a couple of minutes later I feel this hand moving
around in my lap and the blonde leans over, licks my ear, and asks if I'm
INTERESTED? I couldn't believe this was happening! I managed to nod my
head YES, so she grabs my hand, and starts walking out of the bar. So of course
I went with her. This was just too good to be true!" "She took me down the
street here to a nice hotel and up to her room. As soon as she shut the
door she slips out of her dress. That was all she was wearing!
I tell you it didn't take me much longer to get out of my clothes! But as
soon as I jumped into the bed, I hear some keys jingling, and SOMEONE
starts fumbling with the door." "The blonde says 'Oh my god, it's my BOYFRIEND.
He must have lost his WRESTLING match tonight, he's gonna be REAL MAD!
Quick, HIDE!'" "So, I opened at the CLOSET, but I figured that was probably the
FIRST place he would look, so I didn't hide there. Then I looked under the bed,
but no, I figured he's bound to look there, TOO. By now I could hear the key
in the lock. I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out and was hanging there
by my FINGERS praying that the guy WOULDN'T see me." The bartender says
"Well I can see how you might be a BIT FRUSTRATED at this point." "Well, yeah,
but I hear the guy finally get the door open and he yells out
'Who you been sleeping with now, bitch?' The girl says 'Nobody, honey, now come to
bed and calm down.' Well the guy starts TEARING up the room. I hear him tear
the door off the closet and throw it across the room. I'm thinking 'Boy, I'm glad
I didn't hide in there.' Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it across the
room. Good thing I didn't hide under there either. Then I heard him say 'What's
that over there by the WINDOW?' I think 'Oh Shit, I'm dead meat now'.
But the blond by now is trying real hard to distract him and convince him to stop looking."
"Well, I hear the guy go into the bathroom, and I hear water running for a
long time, and I figure maybe he's gonna take a bath or something, when all of a
sudden the asshole pours a pitcher of scalding HOT WATER out of the window right
on top of my head! I mean look at this, I got second degree burns all over my
scalp and shoulders!" The bartender says, "Oh man, that would have pissed me
off for SURE." "No, that didn't really BOTHER me. Next the guy starts slamming
the window shut over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers. They're a
bloody mess, I can hardly hold onto this glass." The bartender looks at the guy's
hands and says "Yeah, buddy, I can understand why you are so UPSET."
"No, that WASN'T what really pissed me off." The bartender then asks in
exasperation, "Well, then, what DID finally piss you off?" "Well I was hanging
there, and I turned around and looked down, and
I WAS ONLY ABOUT 6 INCHES OFF THE GROUND!"
______________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
The Red Green Show S10E19 No Duct Tape
LAPD Officers Use Bean Bag Rounds To Arrest Man Armed With Knife
Laurel y Hardy : Double Whoopee.(1929)
Just How Small is an Atom?
Why Norway is full of Teslas
Mother Bear Fights Tiger to Save Her Cub in Dramatic Video
Finding Your Dad's Porn - Anthony Jeselnik
Space Shuttle Launch: Viewed From an Airplane
Forgotten US Air Battle over Europe, 1953
How far back in time could you go and still understand English?
_______________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
a big bag
area 51
one spelling mistake
snooty rich women
where were you yesterday
haunted house
don't always fart
adult hood
they'll expect that every day
went on a road trip
ruined your life
no more money
body is a temple
adult peer pressure
drain the oil
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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