bufalos-adult-jokes@yahoogroups.com
buffalos-adult-jokes@yahoogroups.com
My name is buffalo and I have the watch.
As someone destined to take mostly generic drugs because of
finances and insurance coverage this really bothers me. I have
many friends that like me that take over a dozen drugs a day.
Some of them don't play well with each other and have to be taken
4 to 6 hours apart to keep them from cancelling each other
or turning into an explosive or something. We are all just one mistake
or bad side effect away from being a lot worse off than what we were.
Now this:
Karen Bartlett vs. Mutual Pharmaceutical Company
In 2004, Karen Bartlett was prescribed the generic anti-inflammatory drug
Sulindac, manufactured by Mutual Pharmaceutical, for her sore shoulder.
Three weeks after taking the drug, Bartlett began suffering from a disease
called, 'toxic epidermal necrolysis'. The condition is extremely painful and
causes the victim's skin to peel off, exposing raw flesh in the same manner
as a third degree burn victim.
Karen Bartlett sued Mutual Pharma in New Hampshire state court, arguing that
the drug company included no warning about the possible side effect. A court
agreed and awarded her $21 million. The FDA went on to force both Mutual, as
well as the original drug manufacturer Merck & Co., to include the side
effect on the two drugs' warning labels going forward.
Now, nine years after the tragedy began, the US Supreme Court overturned the
state court's verdict and award. Justices cited the fact that all generic
drugs and their manufacturers, some 80% of all drugs consumed in the United
States, are exempt from liability for side effects, mislabeling or virtually
any other negative reactions caused by their drugs. In short, the Court
ruled that the FDA has ultimate authority over pharmaceuticals in the US.
And if the FDA says a drug is safe, that takes precedent over actual facts,
real victims and any and all adverse reactions.
So now what are we supposed to do, sue the FDA? Even if that were possible
the FDA would just lengthen the approval process or stop approval on
anything
stronger than Tylenol.
It might be a good time to start thhe Pharmaceutical Psychic Friends
Hotline. Then
you could call each morning and ask if the stars are aligned properly for
taking
your blood pressure meds,
Have a good one ... buff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheep Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams
He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
"Typical bloody sheep," he thought, "they've got no common sense,
"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence."
The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out.
But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.
He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.
He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
He caught up with her somewhere near the middle of the dam.
The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.
She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.
The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away,
He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
But neither was he ready for what he was soon to see.
He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.
And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
The farmer yelling wildly, "Come back here, you lousy bitch!"
The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far.
So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sparrow Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A horsefly kept biting an elephant near her tail. She kept swinging her
trunk, but he was far out of reach.
A little sparrow observed this and flew down and snipped the horsefly in
half.
"Oh, thank you!" said the elephant. "Listen, if there's anything I can ever
do for you, don't hesitate to ask."
The sparrow paused. "Well, ma'am ," he said.
"What is it," said the elephant. "You needn't be shy with me."
"Well," said the sparrow, "the truth is that all my life I wondered how it
would feel to fuck an elephant."
"Go right ahead," said the elephant. "Be my guest!"
The sparrow began to fuck away. Up above them, a monkey got very excited and
started to masturbate.
This shook a coconut loose and it hit the elephant smack on the head.
"Ouch!" said the elephant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STD Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young man, on his first visit to a big city, decides to go visit the local
whorehouse. A few weeks later he begins to experience some problems so he
decides to visit a doctor.
The doctor examines him and says, "Well son, I don't know how to tell you
this, but you have a bad case of Syphilis, Ghonorrhea, and about 12 other
things I can't spell. I'm going to give you some medicine that will make you
feel better, but it'll also cause your dick to shrivel up and disappear.
It's going to cost you $1000".
This doesn't make our friend feel very happy so he decides to visit a
surgeon.
The surgeon examines him and says "I'm sorry, but it looks like a nice mix
of Syphilis, Gonorrhea, and a few other things to boot. Afraid I'm going to
have to cut off your dick and charge you $2000."
By this time, the guy is desperate, he decides to go to a doctor of holistic
medicine.
The doctor examines him, and comes to essentially the same conclusion as the
other doctors: an advanced case of VD.
However, his approach to the problem is designed to save the patient money,
trauma, and worry: "Look, just go home and eat lots of good food, get plenty
of rest, sunshine and fresh air. Wait about two weeks and your dick will
fall off by itself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deserted Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A married couple has been stranded on a deserted island for many years.
One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to
each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to
engage in any hanky-panky.
The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will
be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower,
rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."
The newcomer is only too happy to help, and in fact, volunteers to do the
first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the
ground is placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook supper.
The second man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!"
They yell back, "We're not screwing!"
A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle.
Again the second man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!"
Again they yell back, "We're not screwing!" Later they are putting palm
leaves on the roof of their shack to patch leaks. Once again the second man
yells down, "Hey, I said no screwing!"
They yell back, "We're not screwing!"
Eventually the shift is over and the second man climbs down from the tower
to be replaced by the husband. He's not even halfway up before the wife and
her new friend are hard at it. The husband looks out from the tower and
says, "Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like they're screwing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please forgive our lack of a fancy template at the moment and
enjoy these pages from our friends.
Remembering My Childhood Days
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/A/Rem.html
Up Up And Away
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/A/Up.html
Fred & Ginger
http://www.adreamandasmile.com/Smiles-6/Fred_Ginger.html
Here's A Smile
http://www.adreamandasmile.com/Smiles-6/Heres_Smile.html
Empire State Building
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/empire.html
Green Side Of The Grass
https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/6dbBfXCMbH4?rel=0
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drunk Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Late one evening a drunk staggered into the YMCA and asked to be put up for
the night. The arrangements were made and he staggered to his room where he
found another fellow sitting on the lower bunk.
"Where in the hell is the john?" the intoxicated gent asked his roommate.
The roomie obligingly said, "Go out the door turn left and it's the first
door on the right. Be careful though, he admonished, there are three stairs
steps down into the room."
The drunk exited the room, turned right and entered the first door on the
the left, an open elevator door, sans elevator. He plummeted down the two
flights to the base of the shaft, landing with a thump.
Rising to his feet the drunk spat and said, "To hell with those other two
stairs, I'm pi$$in' right here!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was a boy of just ten,
I picked up some paper and pen,
And I drew you know what,
'Twas a girl with no twat,
'Cause I still hadn't seen one back then.
There was a young butcher named Seaver,
Whose gal craved a clean shaven beaver.
He would soap up her crotch,
With a mirror she'd watch,
As he shaved her blond pube with his cleaver.
A cannibal's not very tall,
But he'll eat a man's hair, bones and all.
As the chief ate his stew,
Said, "Don't know about you,
But for me... I'm just having a ball."
Two cannibals sat down to dine
When one to the other did whine,
"My mother-in'law
Is tasteless and blah."
The other said, "Try some of mine."
Once a young and devout holy roller,
Had a boy friend attempt to console her.
She'd gone down on his cock,
That was hard as a rock...
Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar.
Of the alphabet, you see,
I've learned quite a lot.
She'll hum like a bee
And hit a high C
When my organ locates her G-Spot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two couples were playing poker one evening when John accidentally dropped
his cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up,
he noticed Bill's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any
panties under her dress!
Shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the
table and emerged red-faced.
Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife
followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well, indeed he
did.
"Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500," said Sue.
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this
offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her
husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at
her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp,
and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500, they went to the bedroom and
spent the afternoon closing their transaction, as agreed.
John dressed and left.
As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house,
asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"
With a lump in her throat, Sue answered, "Why, yes, he did stop by for a few
minutes this afternoon."
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he
give you $500?"
In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and, after mustering her
best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.".
Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
"Good. I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and
borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon
on his way home and pay me back."
Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the
day after the procedure a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing.
His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short
intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give
back rubs, etc.
"Why all the attention?" the friend asked, "You look fine to me."
"I know!" grinned the patient. "But the nurses kind of formed a little fan
club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven
stitches."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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