Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Hard to get anything done today as Buffy keeps calling
every 10 minutes with some new task. Today is the
downtown trick or treating beginning at five and the
local merchants including the shop that Buffy manages
are all passing out treats in what has been billed as
a safe alternative to trick or treating. Of course all
the children will collect candy and gorge themselves
on it and then go out again next week but it does serve
to get people downtown and give them a view of what a
available.
I have to stop in about an hour and bring Eva down to
sit with Buffy while this is all happening. That means
that I have to pack up the playpen and supplies, put
Eva into her Lady Bug outfit and hope that I can find a
spot on the main drag long enough to unload everything.
Enjoy your chips and have a great weekend... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Test Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Male Sensitivity Test
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. B.
Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss an NBA Playoff Game.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to. C. Not
the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with
is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last
month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
at the end of a relationship?
A. "I hope we can still be friends,"
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep,"
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that
sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
Evaluating ResultsIf you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your
pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a
little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"
Keith
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Fishing With
Moses http://www.buffalos
http://www.buffalos
Here!</a>
Surfing http://www.buffalos
<a href="
http://www.buffalos
Mechanics http://www.buffalos
<a href="
http://www.buffalos
Lovely Evening
http://www.AikensLa
<a href="http://www.AikensLa
Discrimination.
http://www.ezines4a
<a href="http://www.ezines4a
Growing A Foot... http://www.ezines4a
<a href="http://www.ezines4a
Strictly No Parking
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Ever Get The Feeling Your Fucked
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Packaging
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The mother of a teenage boy was asked by his headmaster to call in at
his office to discuss a serious matter. When she arrived, the
headmaster said, "I'm sorry to have to tell you that your son came to
school yesterday wearing a print dress, high-heeled court shoes and
lipstick!"
"Damn it!" said the boy's mother, "I've told him a hundred times not
to wear his father's clothes!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Dwarf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, the seven dwarfs left to go work in the mine.
Snow White stayed home to prepare lunch.
When she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw
that there had been a terrible cave in. Tearfully, and
fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping
against hope that some of the dwarfs had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called. "Can anyone hear me? Hello."
For quite a while there was no answer. Losing hope,
Snow White called again, "Hello. Is anyone down there?"
Just as she was about to give up all hope, there came
a faint voice from deep in the mine. The voice said,
"I'll always vote Democrat. Vote Democrat."
Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out, "Oh, thank God, Dopey is
still alive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Worst Pain Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went to a dentist one day for a regular check up. The dentist
decided that one tooth was in such bad condition that it should be
extracted. The dentist advised the man of the situation who agreed to
the procedure.
When the dentist went to give the man an injection the man
said "don't
worry, I don't need an injection". The dentist went on to explain
that
the procedure could be very painful however the patient insisted that
he
would be OK without a needle. The patient went on to explain that he
had
two experiences in recent times that had made him immune to pain so
the
dentist went ahead and extracted the tooth. To the dentist's
amazement
the guy didn't even wince.
The dentist, quite astonished remarked " that was amazing, the two
recent experiences you say you had that made you immune to pain must
have been something special, would you care to tell me about them".
The man said "sure, one day I was out hunting and suddenly had an
overwhelming urge to evacuate my bowels. I ducked behind a bush and
squatted down and my scrotum landed squarely on the trigger of a
rabbit
trap and CRUNCH!!". The dentist exclaimed "oh my god, that must have
been excruciating but what was the second experience". The man
replied
"when I ran out of chain"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. These
two women go everywhere together and I've One is a middle-aged gym
teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. never
seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they
could be Lebanese? -- Curious.
DEAR ABBY: I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much
I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
DEAR ABBY: I am a twenty-three-
on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my
boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well
enough to discuss money with him.
DEAR ABBY: I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and
when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said
it would never happen again.
DEAR ABBY: Will you please rush me the name of a reliable
illegitimate doctor?
DEAR ABBY: Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy
who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
DEAR ABBY: I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now,
how do I get out?
DEAR ABBY: My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50
an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
DEAR ABBY: I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know
he drank until one night he came home sober.
DEAR ABBY: My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is
going through mental pause.
DEAR ABBY: I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the
chief petting officer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Torre Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. Yankees wanted to pay him in Radio Shack gift certificates
9. Got caught stealing Rosin bags
8. Joining cast of the Broadway musical "Legally Blonde"
7. Wants to manage a winning team like the Colorado
Whatever-Their-
6. Couldn't bear the grind of sitting on his ass watching baseball
another second
5. Looking to focus on managing his fantasy baseball team
4. Wants to go someplace more peaceful — like Fallujah
3. 5 million dollars a year — how's the man supposed to live?
2. Doesn't want to be working when he's 90 like Letterman
1. Even Yogi Berra told him, "It's over"
J Brooks
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
SwordSister'
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John/ Just A Lil Bit Country
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Kitty Korner
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Surfin Surfari
Cell Phone Facts," FDA/FCC,
http://www.fda.
Abby's Halloween Recipes
http://www.abbys-
Truffles
http://www.cuisinep
Post, Emily. 1922. Etiquette in Society http://www.bartleby
Halloween Yard Haunter
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Grave Addiction - Photos of Cemeteries and Haunted Places
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Seventies Dance Music
http://www.70disco.
Georgia Girl Midis
http://www.gagirl.
Halloween Graphics
http://www.holidayg
Chaos Halloween Graphics
http://www.chaosdes
ScaryStuff
http://www.cavernso
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.danbbs.
Kitty Korner
http://www.catster.
Round Five of the Tail Waggins Fall Photo Contest is underway, and
voting will run through Sunday the 28th at 5pm (eastern).
Here's who is in round five; Chance, Haley, The Radio Flyers, Belle,
Bammer Jammer, Binkie, Chance, Carson, Zoey, Ateka, Beowulf, and
Rufus. You can vote for your favorite at
www.tailwagginsbake
buffalo says I won't suggest which dog to vote for
but my favorite is Beowulf who is a sled dog in Alaska
and owned by herd member and photographer Jlona Richey .
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Some Lists You May Enjoy
To join you only have to send an email to the address
mentioned and reply to the confirmation letter.
Computer Tips and tricks Computer_tricks_
subscribe@yahoogrou
Yooper Fun
Yooper_Fun-subscrib
For Those of You who Served
Our Military Heroes Our_Military_
Chaos In Uniform
TA_Chaos-subscribe@
Nancy's Computer help list which she doesn't let
me make too many comments in which is to your benefit
The Nerdy Buffalo
The_Nerdy_Buffalo-
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Movies
Gorilla
http://www.buffalos
Andys Holiday
http://www.buffalos
Bud Lite Center Fold
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Eye
http://www.buffalos
Eye Test
http://www.buffalos
Fairy Tale
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Family Guy
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Debunker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man boarded a plane at Sydney airport. As he was taking his seat
and settling in, then noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the
aircraft. He realized she was heading straight towards his seat, and
bingo! She took the seat right beside him. Eager to strike up a
conversation, he blurted out: "Business trip or holiday?" She
turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the
Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in the United States ." The man
swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen
sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for
nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly
asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer",
she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular
myths about sexuality." "Really?" he smiled, "What myths are
those?" "Well", she explained, "one popular myth is that African-
American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the
Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when
actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the
best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish." Suddenly
the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry", she
said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you; I don't even
know your name!"
"Tonto", the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but all my friends call
me Paddy.
Anne
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vampire
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Finger Lickin' Good
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Game Time
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Retirement
http://www.aikensla
<a href="http://www.aikensla
This is WHY you don't cheat ...
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...use it on the leaves! http://www.aikensla
<a href="http://www.aikensla
the obscene phone calls
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having lunch
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Light Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young boy & a young girl are playing in a sunny field alone. After a
while they both are very hot so after much discussion they take off
their shirts ... that helps alot and they continue playing. At some
time later the boy asks the girl "What are those things?" (pointing
to her
breasts) she says"they are my headlights ... look you have them too
but they are kinda smaller" so they continue playing. Later, the boy
has a bee fly up his pant leg so he hurriedly removes his pants. The
young girl asks (pointing at his penis)" What is that?" He
replies "Why that's my plug, don't you have a plug ?" (It's beginning
to get dark by now) She says "No - I have this." (She removes her
pants) Boy says "I can't see too well but it looks like you have a
socket. Hey, I have a idea .... If I stick my plug into your socket
it will make our headlights light up !!!! "
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Handy switch is a wireless light switch you can use to remotely
control any lamp in your home.
Each Handy Switch comes with a switch and the remote receiver. You
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an outlet, and then plug your lamp into the receiver. That's it! When
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Plus, each switch also comes with a special adhesive that lets you
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Handy Switch only works with lamps or other devices that plug into
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The range is approximately 60 feet, and the radio frequency it uses
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http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray. He tried it on
himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he couldn't reverse the
process, and he was stuck being the size of a normal man's thumb.
He had a loyal lab assistant who worked with him, though, so his
diminutive size didn't affect Walter's work too much. Still, after a
while, Walter began to long for female companionship.
His lab assistant thought up a highly unethical plan. He planned to
get a couple of ladies of the night, shrink them down to Walter's
size, and keep them shrunk until they could figure out a way to
reverse the process.
The lab assistant went to Times Square and tried to get the young
ladies, but it was trickier than it seemed. They were reluctant to
travel all the way to the lab, but the lab assistant offered to
double their usual rate, so they finally agreed.
As soon as they stepped into the lab, the assistant turned on the
shrinking ray. There was a flash of light and a puff of smoke, and
when the air had cleared --- the prostitutes were exactly the same
size as they were before.
"What's the big idea? Eek!"
One of the prostitutes saw Walter scurrying across the floor and
squashed him flat with her shoe. Walter was dead, and the experiment
was ruined.
This was all because the lab assistant forgot what everyone already
knows: You can lead the whores to Walter, but you can't make 'em
shrink.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One year at Halloween the governor of Illinois
was giving a costume
party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman
would announce what there characters were.
When one couple arrived he announced "Mickey and Minnie Mouse".
As the next couple arrived he announced "Tarzan and Jane"
and so on as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of
underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe.
"Who do you think you are?" demanded the doorman. Having ascertained
that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local university CS
department. The doorman asked "How shall I announce you?"
The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation"
"I'm very sorry sir" said the doorman in obvious shock I cannot
announce anything like that to such a gathering.
"O.K." said the professor. "Just say I came in my pants"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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