Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

You Know You've Reached Middle Age If….

You're hall closet is stocked with enough toilet paper
and light bulbs to supply a small division of General Motors.

You dial the telephone and then can't remember who you called.

You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.

You no longer fear the boss because you are the boss.

You know what your cholesterol level is, but can't remember what your S.A.T. scores were.
_______________

A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart.
Elizabeth , a golfer who lived in a villa on the
Course heard the noise and yelled over to him .
"Hey you what's your name?"
"Willis," he replied.
"Willis forget your troubles. Come to my villa ,
I'll give you good driving lessons andI'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered,
"but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Aw come on," Elizabeth insisted with a wink.
"Well okay," Willis finally agreed,
And added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, and sexy driving and putting
lessons, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better
now, but I know my wife is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish! Elizabeth said with a smile ,
she wont know any thing. By the way, where is she? "
" Under the cart !!"
_________________

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian,
a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a
Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian,
a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a
New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian,
a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole,
a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman
Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech,
an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an
Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian,
an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner,
a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian,
a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander,
a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian,
a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman,
a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari,
an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian,
a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb,
a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans,
.................Walk into a very fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group ,
" You can't come in here without a Thai. "
__________________

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
_____________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

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