THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
He who has not Christmas in his heart will
never find it under a tree.
~Roy L. Smith
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
SANTA'S PRAYER ON CHRISTMAS EVE
The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.
"Dear Father," he prayed "Be with me tonight.
There's much work to do and my schedule is tight.
I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky,
Knowing full well that a reindeer can't fly.
I will visit each household before the first light,
I'll cover the world and all in one night.
With sleighbells a-ringing, I'll land on each roof,
Amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.
To get in the house is the difficult part,
So I'll slide down the chimney of each child's heart.
My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes.
The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes.
I will fill all the stockings and not leave a track.
I'll eat every cookie that is left for my snack.
I can do all these things Lord, only through You,
I just need your blessing, then it's easy to do.
All this is to honor the birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son.
So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them who gave me this job."
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
Hi I'm Al
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f030.html
getting a tan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f031.html
like it?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f032.html
I wish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f033.html
Tiger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f034.html
school uniforms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f035.html
chemistry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f036.html
OHHHH PAPA!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f037.html
complain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f038.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the stranger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8700.html
Santa Clause is coming to town-wav
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8701.html
instant photo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8702.html
what time is it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8703.html
don't flash n drive
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8704.html
________________
Lena and Sven got married in St. Paul.
They planned to honeymoon in Lena's aunt's cabin in Duluth.
They caught a bus that was filled with deer hunters.
About 30 minutes out of St. Paul the bus broke down right
next to a nice hotel. Sven said to Lena, "Lena, there's a
comfortable hotel right here. How about consummating our marriage?"
Lena replied, "No. I vant to wait till ve get to Duluth."
The repaired bus took off. Fifty miles down the road, it
broke down again. This time it was next to a good looking motel.
Sven turned to Lena and asked, "Look Lena. There's a nice motel.
Can ve consummate our marriage?"
Lena said, "No. I vant to wait till ve get to Duluth."
The bus was repaired and off they went.
Ten miles down the road, the bus broke down.
This time they were our in the woods.
However, there was a little clearing out of the sight of the bus.
Lena turned to Sven, "I tink ve should go back into the voods
and do it."Later when they returned the bus, Sven asked Lena,
"Earlier ve vere next to a nice hotel and you said "No". Then,
ve vere by a motel and you said "No". But, here ve vent out
into the grassy voods and did it. Why?"
Lena said, "I vas listening to the hunters. They said if the bus
broke down again, the fucking season vould be over.
______________
Dave sent his wife an email message that he'd be home a
day earlier than planned. Arriving at the house, he
discovered his wife in bed screwing with another man.
Bitterly, Dave kicked them out of the house, and started
to plan a course of action. His thoughts were interrupted by
a call from his soon to be ex-mother- in- law. She believed
that there was no doubt a good explanation for her daughter's
behavior. Dave told her to buzz off. The next day his
mother-in-law called again. "Didn't I tell you?" she said.
"Didn't I tell you there was an explanation? I just got
through talking to your wife. She never got your e-mail!
It's all YOUR fault!"
____________
It is Christmas Eve and this chap is on a rooftop about to
jump off. His wife is leaving him for another man, he has
lost his job and he owes thousands of pounds to the bank.
Just as he finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump,
Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder.
"Are you OK?" asks Father Christmas.
The man explains why he is so miserable and gets ready to jump.
"Stop!" shouts Father Christmas. "It is Christmas; I will
grant you three wishes to solve your problems on the
understanding that you will grant me a small favor in return!"
"Would you?" the man replies. "That would be wonderful!!...
Thank you, thank you!"
Father Christmas promises him that:
1. You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed
in her sexiest underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing
for your return, she will have no recollection of her new boyfriend.
2. You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and
continue with your work. Your salary will have increased by
50%. Also, nobody will have any recollection of your sacking.
3. You shall go to your bank and you will be ten thousand
pounds in credit, you will have no outstanding bills.
"Oh thank you, thank you!" says the man.
"What is it that I can do for you?"
Father Christmas asks the man to drop his pants and bend over.
After a quite brutal rogering, which made his eyes water a
little, Father Christmas asks the man how old he is.
"36" replies the man.
"Ho, Ho, Ho, Aren't you a bit old to believe in
Father Christmas!?" he chuckled.
_______________
Little Johnny had been waiting in a long line to sit on
the department store Santa's lap when he finally gets
his turn at it and climbs up.Santa say to little Johnny,
touching the little boy on the nose with his finger, "I'll
bet you'd like a puppy for Christmas."
Johnny shakes his head, "No."
Santa touches the little Johnny's nose with his finger again,
"Well, then I'll bet you'd like a kitten for Christmas."
Johnny again shakes his head, "No..."
The department store Santa then asked, "Well then, what would
you like for Christmas, little boy?"
Johnny replies with a big grin, "I want some pussy!!!"
Santa, startled and almost speechless, stutters,
"Well, I don't have any of that!?!?"
Little Johnny, touching Saint Nick on nose, answers back
smiling, "Yes you do, because I can smell it on your finger!"
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
Swan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkjhsk.htm
Texas Shoot Out
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdksk.htm
Things Men Will Do For A Cold Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dssjssd.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Fantastic Machine
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000548.html
Fart Man Sings
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000549.html
Farting Elves 12 days Of Christmas
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000550.html
_______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Was Britney Always Crazy?
http://tinyurl.com/mh49ac
Which Christmas Tree Are You?
http://tinyurl.com/y9prosw
Big Big Big Lipped Woman
http://tinyurl.com/ye8d8nd
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment