THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
They tell you that you'll lose your
mind when you grow older. What
they don't tell you is that you
won't miss it very much.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The weather man says it will be a beautiful
sunshiny kinda day today. Cold, but no snow.
Finally, it appears that our winter storm "event"
is over. I do not think it was quite as nasty as
they had predicted. I admit, I did not go out and
about, but it does seem to me that the media "hyped"
it up pretty big time on this storm we had.
I think sometimes reporters don't have a lot to talk
about. So, they concentrate on one or two
stories and wear them out. Quite often, I hear
them talking about the same thing and never saying
anyting new. The Tiger Woods scandal is a good example.
They have been talking about him for days now, but
so far I have not heard them say anything new since
the second day. Do you think that if Tiger had talked
to the cops that first day, that it would not have
been quite so potent to his reputation? I just wonder,
how many of us have enough clout where we can tell
the police, "Come back later, I'm sleeping. I don't
want to talk to you right now." Must be nice being
a celebrity. I suppose that as time goes on and Tiger
loses his Gatorade endorsement so he can't afford that
expensive mansion, the Mrs. may decide to give up
golfing, or at least try and improve her swing.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________
THE COMICS
this bunch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d050.html
can you take it with you?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d051.html
cement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d052.html
sorry Bob
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d053.html
what Santa wants this year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d054.html
drink up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d055.html
phone sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d056.html
welcome to West Virginia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d057.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
word puzzle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8630.html
fix a flat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8631.html
sniper training
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8632.html
Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and
tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she
went home and memorized all the state capitals.Back
in the office the next day, some guy started telling
a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill
announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde
jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home
last night and did something probably none of you could
do...I memorized all the state capitals."
One of the guys, of course, said "I don't believe you.
What is the capital of Nevada?" "N", she answered.
__________
A government employee sat in his office, and out of
boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing
cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across
an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel,"
he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the
lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three
wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now."
He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think
more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be
on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible. "
Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women. eyeing
him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish.
"I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly,
he was back in his government office.
___________
One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a
small town. Everywhere he saw evidence of the most amazing
shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were
numerous bull's-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center.
The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet
the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship.
The man turned out to be the village idiot. "This is the
best marksmanship I have ever seen," said the FBI man.
"How in the world do you do it?" "Nothing to it," said the
idiot. "I shoot first and draw the circles afterward."
______________
Eight year-old Pauly came home from school one day, all
banged up, bloodied, and bruised. His father asked him what
happened and Little Pauly said, "Well, dad, it's like this.
I challenged Maury to a duel and you know how that goes, I
gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh huh," said the father.
"That seems fair." "I know... but I never thought he'd have
chosen his big sister!"
____________
A Stoner was cruising along in a brand new Cadillac convertible.
His friends stopped him and asked how in the world had
got hold of such a good car. He explained, "I was sitting
on the curb minding my own business, when a beautiful girl
pulls up in this car that you see and asks, 'Want a ride?'
So I got in. We rode far out into the country, and she
stopped the car. We both got out. 'Kiss me' she said.
So I kissed her. Then she disrobed, and stood there in all
her feminine beauty, dressed only in her panties. Holding
her arms out towards me she said, 'You can have anything I've
got.'Well I could see that her panties would never fit me and
so I took the car."
______________
Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train to
a cricket match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the
three Kiwis each buy a ticket and watch as the three Aussies buy
just one ticket between them.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?"
asks one of the Kiwis.
"Watch and learn," answers one of the Aussies.
They all board the train. The Kiwis take their respective seats
but all three Aussies cram into a toilet and close the door
behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor
comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door
opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in
hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Kiwis see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after
the game, they decide to copy the Aussies on the return trip and
save some money (being clever with money, and all that).
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the
return trip. To their astonishment, the Aussies don't buy a
ticket at all!!
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one
perplexed Kiwi."Watch and learn," answers an Aussie.
When they board the train the three Kiwis cram into a toilet and
soon after the three Aussies cram into another nearby. The train
departs.Shortly afterwards, one of the Aussies leaves the toilet and
walks over to the toilet where the Kiwis are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please."
___________
BUFFALO BILL
camel toe 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjdfgfd.htm
camel toe3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjlgfddfgfg.htm
came too soon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjlgfddfgfg.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Eddie Izzard - Brit vs US Movies
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000509.html
Eddie Izzard - Cake or Death
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000510.html
Eddie Izzard - Death Star Canteen
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000511.html
____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
What Will You Get This Xmas?
http://tinyurl.com/y94sf45
Robokill Shooting Game
http://tinyurl.com/ch4p79
Superhero Name
http://tinyurl.com/caohw4
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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