THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
" 'Old times' never come back and I suppose
it's just as well. What comes back is a new morning
every day in the year, and that's better."
-George E. Woodberry-
______________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Well, its that time of year again. This is
my least favorite time. We are right in the
middle of winter. It has not snowed that much
for the last week. But, it snows just a little.
Like just an inch or two every day. Enough
to be an annoyance and you gotta go out and
scrape the car off every time you go somewhere.
And enough to have to shovel the walk constantly.
Etc. Well, with one exception. The other day
it dumped on us. I mean it dumped. So, after
giving the subject a lot of thought, I came up
with a conclusion. After 30 years it is time
to move out of Michigan. Maybe move south,
like to Florida. You know what? I came up with
three good reasons....
and reasons number 2 and 3...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially,
Martin aka the postman
_________________
three weeks to live
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g030.html
a virgin birth?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g031.html
the internship
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g032.html
caution
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g033.html
a message from our troops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g034.html
my grand daughter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g035.html
pardon me Robert
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g036.html
I don't know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g037.html
the teller
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g038.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
We the people
Ray Stevens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8731.html
one nation under god
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8732.html
racin!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8733.html
Bert and Ernie-Gangstas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8734.html
Grand ma gets a dildo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8735.html
failure on the merry go round
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8736.html
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street,
when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a
$5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, 'Next
year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it
to you?' Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and
answered, 'Yes, he sure did!' The little girl looked
up at the cop and said, 'Next year, tell Santa: The
dick goes underneath the horse.'
____________
It was at the office party. They lay on the office
reception couch in the darkened room, their breath came
hot and fast, as he hammered her pussy. "Oh, Melvin, oh
Melvin, I'm cumming again" she said passionately, "You've
never made love to me like this before. Is it because of
the holiday spirit?""No," he panted. "It is probably
because I am not Melvin!"
______________
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the
27th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear
up certain things that have occurred since the beginning
of the month! (While filled with illusion I wrote you a letter)
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of
rollerblades, and a football uniform. I had the best
grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you
Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that
behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my
friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and
even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually
nothing I wouldn't do for humanity!
WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID
ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU
THINKING,YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR
A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME
SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED
ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET
SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS
DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR
BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! "I'LL FUCK YOU UP!"
I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND
SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG
FAT ASS EVERYWHERE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T
GET ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!! YOU KNOW WHAT
SANTA, FUCK YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT
HOW BAD I CAN REALLY BE...YOU'VE BEEN STEPPING ON THIS
MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR,
FAT ASS, PUNK BASTARD!
Sincerely,
LITTLE Johnny
______________
"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient. "One
of my balls has turned blue."The doctor examines the man
briefly and concludes that the patient will die if he
doesn't have his testicle removed."Are you crazy?!" bursts
the patient. "How could I let you do such a thing to me!"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, at which
point the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back. "Doc,
I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned
blue, too."Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to
live, his other testicle must be cut off, too. Again, the
man is very reluctant to the idea."Hey, you want to die?"
asks the doctor, and the patient has to agree with the
operation. After two weeks of being testicle-less, the
patient returns to the doctor and says, "I think something
is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient, the doctor gives him the
bad news: If he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course,
the patient does not want to hear about it.
"You want to die?" asks the doctor.
"But...how do I pee?"
"We'll install a plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
So the patient has his penis removed, and, a while after
the operation, the unfortunate man enters the doctor's
office again. He is very angry.
"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!"
"What?"
"Can you tell me what the hell is happening?"
The doctor examines the patient more carefully and says,
"Hmmm, I don't know. Could it be the jeans?"
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Topper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62511.htm
Trained Puppies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62512.htm
Tread Mill
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62513.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Dog Fight 2
http://tinyurl.com/d8h3lc
Angel or Devil?
http://tinyurl.com/de46nb
Unbelievably Strange But True
http://tinyurl.com/nnfhwh
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Female GPS
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000563.html
Fernet Stock Commercial
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000564.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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