Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have a small dresser in my bedroom that is built like a tool box
wood fronts on the drawers which are steel with heavy runners. A
year or so ago everything jumped the track so I shoved it off into a
corner to set computer carcasses on while awaiting repair. I got my
underwear and socks out of the upper drawers but the
bottom drawers were a bear to get into so I wrote off the stuff in
them because I had outgrown most of it anyhow. Tonight Sandy was
looking for computer paper for Eva to draw on and somehow got the
bottom drawer open. It contained some of the contents of my
Christmas stocking from two years ago including a Lifesavers Book. I
got back from running to the store for soda and everyone was sitting
there munching Lifesavers.
I must admit their packaging which is a wrap of wax paper and then
foil covered paper does as good a job as most plastic containers
and the Lifesavers tasted pretty much as I remember them from
when they were only a nickel a pack and they weren't even stuck
together. I was upset to find that they no longer put a roll of
Butter Rum
in there. That was always my favorite as a kid.
Anyhow, Buffy had a roll of the tropical flavored Lifesavers and I
heard her say, "Oh, I hope this one isn't coconut." She popped one
in her mouth and said, " Oh, it's Pina Colada, that's really good."
Heh heh, have a Pina Colada, Macaroon and a Pina Colada Almond Joy
bar to go with that.
Enjoy the Chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Scrooge Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are You A Scrooge?
If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin,
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If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers
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-
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If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie - you just
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If your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin - you just
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
imagine that
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a new watch
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don't worry
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Driving On 2 wheels
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Room Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three couples went to New York for a weekend but
didn't have reservations. They were amazed to
find only two rooms left in the whole area. Each
room had one bed. They took the rooms and
decided to have the three women share one bed and
the three men share the other.
In the middle of the night, one man got up to leave. Another man
asked him, "What are you doing?"
The first man answered, "I'm going to see my wife."
The second man asked, "What do you mean you're going to see your
wife?"
The first man said, "I'm going to see my wife.
I've got the biggest erection I've ever had."
The second man said, "Well, then, take me with you."
The first man said, "Why should I take you with me?"
The second man answered, "Because you're holding MY dick."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hannibal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jay Leno On Hannibal Lechter...
Jay Leno On Hannibal Lechter...
What does Hannibal call a black man, Latino and a man from Taiwan?
A BLT.
What does Hannibal think is the best thing about Domino's Pizza?
The delivery guy.
Why doesn't he eat kids from Beverly Hills?
Because they're spoiled.
Hannibal was going to have shish-kabob, but Bob didn't show.
What does Hannibal call a person with a big smile?
A happy meal.
For breakfast Hannibal has eggs and Kevin Bacon.
Why did Hannibal invite Ralph Nader over?
He's trying to eat more greens.
What shouldn't you say to Hannibal?
"Bite me."
What does Hannibal call a hot tub?
A crock pot..
Why won't he eat stewardesses?
He hates airline food.
What does he call Kate Moss?
Lean cuisine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary: There must be some way to stop all this spam I'm getting
lately!
Jill: Why would you want to stop it? OH! Did you say "spam"
or "sperm"?
Bill: Did I tell you about the worst blowjob I ever got?
Doug: No I don't think so.
Bill: Yeah, it was great.
While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display
in
the window of a lingerie store caught my eye.
"Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed
to the lacy pyjamas with matching robe.
"No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would never
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"Would you like to hear my sexual philosophy?" the boss asked the
new
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"Why yes sir, I think that would be interesting,
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"Hmmmmmmm," she mused. "Sounds like the Four-Get-It system to me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cinder Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poor little Cinders is in the kitchen crying when in walks her fairy
godmother who asks her what the problem is, Cinders replies "The
ugly
sisters laughed at me because my clothes are poor and scruffy and
they said
I can't go to the ball"
The fairy godmother assures her that she can help and waving her
magic wand
turns Cinderella's rags into a magnificent ball gown complete with
gold
sequins and elegant glass slippers. Cinderella continues to cry and
says "
I cant go to the ball because it is a long way to go and I don't
know
how I
am ever going to get there"
The fairy godmother looks around the kitchen for inspiration and
sees
a
basket full of vegetables, selecting a pumpkin and four carrots she
waves
her magic wand and they are transformed into a wonderful gold
carriage with
four prancing horses - as a finishing touch she picks up a cabbage
and a
leek and magically they become a coachman, who climbs up and takes
the
reigns and a footman who opens the carriage door and indicates that
Cinders
should step inside. Seeing Cinders is still crying the fairy
godmother asks
her in desperation what ever else is wrong and Cinders replies "It
is
the
time of the month when I have my period and the ugly sisters have
taken all
the sanitary towels so I still can't go to the ball"
Looking into the almost empty vegetable basket the fairy godmother
takes out
an enormous turnip and with a flick of her wand turns it into a
tampax
tampon which she hands to Cinders saying " There you go my dear, but
whatever you do, for fucks sake get back by midnight"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bob's sister was one of the most popular girls in Manhattan. She had
more boyfriends then she knew what to do with and she never wanted
for
a thing. Bob was always in debt and constantly asking his sister for
spending money. "I don't understand you, Bob," she said in obvious
annoyance one afternoon when he tried to put the bite on her for a
10
spot. "I don't have any trouble saving money, so why should you?"
"Sure, sure," he said, " But you've got money coming in all the time
from the very thing that's keeping me broke."
An elderly couple was sitting on the out porch when the husband
turned
to his wife and, "Muffin, I feel like making love tonight" The wife
replied, "Ok Ernest, I will let you, but be gentle this time." "But
I
am always gentle with you, dearest," "That's not true, she replied,
"the last time you woke me up TWICE!"
Lola, a saleswoman for a major condom company was required to travel
cross-country to meet a prospective buyer. Her boss asked her to
take
about 100 condoms of various types with her.As she was running late
for her flight, she simply stuffed them all into her briefcase. The
cab ride to the airport was delayed by traffic and she had just
enough
time to throw her ticket at the counter and run onto the plane. As
she
jumped into the airplane, she dropped her briefcase and all the
condoms flew out all over the floor in front of all the passengers
and
crew. They all stared amazed at the display and then looked at Lola,
who said sheepishly, "I'm meeting a new client."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Grandpa Bill and I
http://www.silveran
Christmas Thoughts
http://www.poetryin
Crying In The Wind
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Just Thinking...
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Top 10 Downloads last 10 years
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Makeup - Photo
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Google Chrome: a new web browser for Windows
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Movie Links
Wrong Phone
http://www.buffalos
WW30mm
http://www.buffalos
XX Cigar Rolling
http://www.buffalos
Kitty Cat Song
http://www.buffalos
Royal Canadian Air Farce
http://www.buffalos
x352
http://www.buffalos
Yeah Right
http://www.buffalos
Your Side Of The family
http://www.buffalos
Lake Delton Break To WI River
http://www.buffalos
Baby Panda Sneeze
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cowboy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get
married.
He was a man of the world.
She was an innocent bride with no experience.
After the wedding they left for their honeymoon.
While driving down the road, the new bride sees two
cows having
sex.
The new bride asks, "What are them cows up to honey?"
The husband, a bit flustered, answers, "Why can't you
see?
Them cows, they're roping!"
She replies, "Oh, I see!"
After a few more hours of driving they pass two horses
having sex.
Again the bride asks, "What are them horses doing
honey?"
The husband answers again, "Them horses, they're
roping!"
She replies,"Oh, I see!"
Finally they arrive at their hotel.
The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed.
When they got in the bed, they start to explore each
other's bodies.
Things are going along fine until the bride discovers
her husband's penis.
"Oh my!" she cries:
"What is that?"
"Well, darlin'" he chuckles proudly:
"That's ma' rope!
"She slides her hands down further and gasps, "Oh my
goodness!
What are those?" she asks.
"Honey, those're my knots!" he answers.
Finally the couple begins to make love.
After several minutes the bride says, "Stop honey,
wait a minute!
Her husband, panting a little, asks: "What's the
matter honey, am I hurting you?"
"No," the bride replies, "undo them damn knots, I need
more rope!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Talented Tongue
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Hello Nobel Prize
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Oh Boss
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Bad Milk
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Cards
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young girl named Sapphire,
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
There once was a guy named Nick
Who liked to jerk off his dick
All during the day
He'd sit there and play
And then grab the bong and the Bic.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: Would she use my golf clubs?
MAN: No, she's left-handed.
WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
MAN: Shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a
little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a
tie? They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I
need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
"OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not
want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am
bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for
about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the
ice cold water you need. Shalom."
Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.
"Your damn brother won't let me in without a tie."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1729
Sandi's Problem, Rudy's Bonanza
Katie: Hey what is with the movers?
Diana: We have purchased two new couches and two new recliners so
they are going to move the old couches out along with the love seat
and the oversized chair.
Sandi: You mean, they are taking Dad's couch out? Dad's and my
chair?
Diana: Yes, but you will have a new couch and a new large recliner.
Sandi: I do not want a new one. I like the old one, it is
comfortable. We sit in it every night.
Diana: That is the problem. It is old and needs to be replaced.
Rudy: Hey check it out Sandi! I like the recliner upstairs...
A-Roo!
Sandi: Traitor!
Katie: I like the couch upstairs to.
Later that night.
BJ: Come on Sandi, sit next to me.
Sandi: Hrumpt! I want my old couch back.
The herd in Guthrie
(pretty much how it went. Katie was on my lap on the recliner
upstairs, Rudy had the recliner laid back downstairs, but
Sandi,,,who is slow to adjust to things, refused to get on the new
furniture. She will adjust in
time)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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