Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning.
You have a broken reflector on your buggy."
"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home."
"That's fine.
Another thing, ma'am.
I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls.
I consider that animal abuse.
That's cruelty to animals.
Have your husband take care of that right away!"
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"
"He said the reflector is broken."
"I can fix that in two minutes.
What else?"
"I'm not sure, Jacob...
He said something about the emergency brake."
___________

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement
that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly
realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man
next to him, he complained, "I forgot my teeth, what am I going
to do now!?"
The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and
pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.
The speaker tried them on. "Too loose," he said. The man then
said, "I have another pair -- try these."
The speaker tried them on and responded, "Too tight."
The man was not taken back at all.
He said, "I have one more pair. Try them."
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that, he ate
his meal and gave his speech.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went to thank
the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming
to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good
dentist."
The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."
____________

Taking advantage of a balmy day, four priests swapped their
clerical garb for polos and khakis and took some time out on the golf course.
After several shots their caddy asked, "You guys wouldn't be priests by any chance?"
"Actually, yes, we are," one cleric replied. "But how did you know?"
"I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language."

_________________

Bob wasn't too happy with his doctor's recommendation to cure his constant fatigue.
"You want me to give up sex completely, Doc?" he cried.
"I'm a young guy. I'm in the prime of my life. How do you expect me to give up sex and go cold turkey?"
"Well," replied the doctor, "you could get married and taper off gradually."
______________

getting old

- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

- You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

- The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

- Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

- It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

- You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

- Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

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