THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Freedom is a possession of inestimable value.
Cicero
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Ok, I keep forgetting, I have folks joining
all the time. A lot of you do not know who
Turk the rat is. Turk the rat, aka Turk the
dog, is a little chihuahua that came to live
with me and the Mrs. about 3 or 4 years ago.
Actually, truth is that Turk the rat is my oldest
daughter's dog. Phone rings.
"Dad, I need your help..."
At the time, daughter was single with 2 jobs
it was Xmastime and "...gee Daddy, I gotta
work every night just before xmasweek, there
just won't be anyone to take of Turk, pwetty
pweese?" So I agreed, but only for that one week
and the promise that daughter would pick him
up on Sunday. Yah, right!!!!.
That was aproximately 3 or 4 YEARS ago now.
And while daughter has been over here many
many times since then, there has been no attempt
on her part to take him back home with her.
At this point, now you know the truth.
Officially, I call him Turk the dog, aka
Carlos the rat. And you know what? If daughter
tried to take him back home now? She AIN'T
gettin him back, ...Trust me!...S' Truth !!!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
stop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u056.html
how much do you love me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u057.html
depression diagnosed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u058.html
a way to save money
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u059.html
out of work
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u060.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
witness protection program
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1363.html
awesome
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1364.html
A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air
Base, Greenland, at midnight. During the pilot's pre-flight
check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is
full from the last flight so an airman who was off
duty is called out to take care of it. The young man
makes his way to the aircraft only to find that the
latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is frozen
solid, so he must find another one in the hangar,
which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft
and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do.
Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately
and carefully and slowly so as not to risk criticism later.
As he's leaving the plane, the pilot and says, "Son, your
attitude and performance has caused this flight to be
late and I'm going to personally see to it that you
are not just reprimanded but punished."
Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep
breath, stands tall and says, "Sir, with all due respect,
I'm not your son. I'm an Airman in the United States
Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland, for 11 months
without leave. I have one stripe. It's -40 degrees, and
my job is to pump shit out of an aircraft. Now, just
exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?"
________________
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to
find their car has been stolen. They go to the police
station to make a full report.Then, a detective drives
them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence
can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement,
the car has been returned. There is an envelope on the
windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music
concert. The note reads, I apologize for taking your
car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire
your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive
the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's
concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star.
Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the
concert and return home late. They find their house has
been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout
the house, from basement to attic.And, there is a note on the door
reading, Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly
born kid through college somehow, don't I?
___________________
Woman in a doctors office: "I think I'm addicted to sex"
Doctor: Do you think you could stop for 15 minutes..??
Woman: Will that cure me..??
Doctor: No. but I'm finding you sitting there fingering
yourself, way to distracting..
_____________
10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place
36% of the women favour nudity
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes
46% of the women experienced anal sex
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.
Conclusion:
Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in
the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the
office at the end of the day.
Moral:
Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!
______________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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