[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 2-11

 


Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Prior to 1970 back here there was three AM stations that you
could listen to. One was a rock channel, one country, and one
which played a variety of music from Top 40 to Country. You
listened to those during the day time and at night when the
super stations in Detroit, Chicago, and Boston turned up their
wattage you had a handful of places that you could listen to
and a few that you could tune in when conditions were just right.

The number of radio stations grew and grew up till about 2000
with FM channels covering classical rock, easy listening, top 40,
country, and the old AM channels handling talk radio. Mergers
consolidated most of the stations to two companies which works
great because you can consolidate news, sports, weather, plus
advertising and sales staffs and operate with fewer people. That all
worked fine till yesterday.

My radio is tuned to a local talk radio station which had a local
show between 0700-0900. It served two purposes, their guests
answered a lot of questions you never saw in the paper and you
could call in and make your comments. It had its own group of
loyal fans and as of yesterday the show is gone. The two big
companies merged and as a result a group of really good people
are out looking for a job. Nobody's fault, just good business but I
will miss them.

Enjoy the chips... buffalo

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Qand A Chips
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Q: Why are you married to that sadist?
A: Beats me!
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Q: What did Speedy Gonzales say to his wife on their honeymoon?
A: This won't hurt, did it?
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Q: What's hard and hairy outside, soft and wet inside,
and is spelled with the letters "C" "U" "N" and "T"?
A: A coconut.
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: The chicken didn't cross the road, the *pervert* did....
The chicken was simply, um, 'attached'....
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Q: How many supermodels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Silly, you can't screw in a lightbulb!
---------------------

Q: Why do farts smell?
A: For the benefit of the deaf....

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

beneficial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m031.html

all I did
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m030.html

valentine's
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m033.html

Happy Holiday
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000690.html

Harley Advert - Banned In Britain
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000691.html

Harley Davidson
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000692.html

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Tiger Chips
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Last time the circus came to town, an ad for an animal
trainer was placed in the local paper.

Only two applicants showed up: a male and a female.

The owner said he could only afford one animal trainer, so
he would choose the one with the best act.

At first glance it appeared that the female was much better
prepared, since she came to the interview in a very long
flowing cape, with a whip & chair. She looked more like a
model than a trainer.

The man's only distinguishing feature was a soggy cigar
stuffed between his cracked and leathery lips.

The owner asked who would like to go first, and the man
said, "Ladies before Gentleman."

So the lady asked for her special music to be played, and
once the music started she entered the cage with a flurry
of whip snapping. She motioned the attendant to release
the tiger.

The tiger leaped into the cage snarling. The young lady
threw aside her whip, tossed back her cape and sat on
the chair as naked as the day she was born.

The tiger then circled her, sniffing the air, then suddenly
leaped toward her, put its face between her legs and
started licking. She threw back her head moaning, holding
the tiger by the ears with her thighs. She rode on the
tiger's face all around the cage.

Then the owner looked at the man and said, "That's quite
an act. Think you can do better than that?"

The man spit out his cigar, licked his lips and said, "No
problem, just get that dang tiger out of the way!"

Randy

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Tomato Giant - Gardener's Choice Tomato Tree

Grow tomatoes as big as grapefruits - up to 2 lbs each. These giant
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Wish Chips
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Picture if you will, a mountain high on top of the world with a
sharp cliff that provides an excellent jump to your death. There are
three men standing by this cliff and remarking at what a long way
down it is.

Suddenly, a good fairy appears and says: "Good gentlemen I will give
you one wish. As you jump off this cliff, call out your wish, and I
will grant you your wish and safe passage to ground level."

So, the first man, who by the way was Italian, took a running start
and jumped off the cliff. As he plummeted to almost certain human
death, he called out,

"AN IROC CAMARO WITH BIG FUZZY DICE HANGING IN
THE WINDOW AND A GORGEOUS GIRL TO GO ALONG."

And just as the good fairy promised, he landed safely in between his
new "car" and gorgeous blond girl, where he proceeded to run from
one to the other, not knowing which one to kiss first.

The second man, being an East Indian by the name of Raj, saw what
happened to the Italian Stallion and ran off the cliff happily
screaming with his distinctive accent:

"RICHES AND FAME."

It was a short and simple request, but that was all the English he
could handle while jumping off a cliff. Well, low and behold as he
reaches the bottom safely he is swarmed by dozens of adoring fans,
while a limousine full of money arrives to pick him up.

Well, the last fellow was a short, stout fellow from a faraway place
in a most northern country called Canada. This fellow is commonly
referred to as a NEWFIE. The Newfie was so impressed at how the
other two gentlemen had prospered in life that he gave grave and
careful thought to what he would say as he plummeted off the cliff
at break neck speeds. So, he began to run, and just as he neared the
edge of the cliff he tripped on a stone and fell off the cliff,
yelling with disgust:

"SHIT!!!"

And thus, he safely landed.

Stan Kegel

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Short Chips
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Mary: You'll love this story from my friend who works in the ER.

Jill: What happened?

Mary: A woman came in with a cell phone shoved up her rectum!

Jill: You're kidding!

Mary: I'm not. The woman said she and her husband were playing some
"adult games."

Jill: Well, it had to be either that, or she doesn't understand the
meaning of phone sex

Do you ever miss the ex?

Mary: OH! All the time! You wouldn't believe how much!

Jill: Wow! I didn't think you cared about him at all.

Mary: Wait a minute! Did you say "ex" or "sex"?

Budget cuts to the Defence force forced the training team to start
doing mock combat using no explosives, guns, or basically any
equipment what-so-ever, so when it came to a training scenario,
the Sergeant in charge tells his recruits that they are under
imaginary fire, and what do they do?
So all of the recruits bar one scatter and get down behind
"stuff", and get into returning fire positions.

The Sergeant notices this one recruit standing out in the open,
quite relaxed and unfazed. Yelling, the Sergeant asks "What the
devil do you think you're doing? You're under fire!" So the
recruit takes one step to the left and remains still.

Now the Sergeant's really annoyed. He yells again, "WHAT THE
HELL ARE YOU
DOING? You're under imaginary fire, take cover!" The recruit
turns to him
and replies, "I'm taking cover behind this imaginary tree Sergeant!"
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Irish Chips
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Friday Night is very much love-night for the Irish man. Arriving
back from the pub, having partaken of the traditional Irish
aphrodisiac - 12 pints Guinness, and some fish and chips, his
mind set on one thing - LOVE! Or as he say's himself "the ride".

His lust, at fever pitch, after the sensuous excitement of a hard
night's dominoes, he approaches his beloved wife, enticing her
with gentle words of passion - "any chance of me hole then love?"

The good lady in question perhaps over excited by the erotic
smell of Guinness or the sensuous vision of chips sticking to his
chin, is at first somewhat reluctant. This coy reluctance is
expressed with the flirtatious "Would ye ever fuck off!!!".

FOREPLAY

Foreplay is very important indeed. This basically consists of the
male, whipping off his slightly soiled Y fronts provocatively at
his wife, that usually land skid-mark side down, as he approaches
the bed gyrating with one hand on his hip and the other on the
back of his head, singing the ancient Gaelic fertility chant
"Here we go, here we go, here we go"

Upon reaching the bed he comments proudly on this rampant 8
incher. This is a classic example of alcohol induced double
vision.

INITIAL PROBLEMS

After 12 pints, sometimes the man's old Willie Winkie is a trifle
reluctant to extend itself (literally). Impotence is very much a
blow to the man's self esteem and the wife has to be very
tactful. She will offer gentle and sensitive words of
encouragement such as "Ye useless bastard, ye" or possibly "It
never happens to the Milkman".

Oral sex is a great favourite of the Irishman. He approaches his
wife with a cheeky invitation, "How'd ye like to put your teeth
round dis?" The woman nods willingly and points suggestively to
her falsies smiling happily in a bedside tumbler. "Go on then",
she says "but don't disturb me".

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Eventually the moment comes to consummate their tender love.
Again alcohol induced double vision is an important factor as the
man decides which of his willies to use for penetration.
Sometimes in his excitement as he moves into his position he may
suffer from severe premature ejaculation. A phenomenon he
explains to his wife using the poetic phrase "Oh fuck, I've shot
me load." If this does occur it is essential he makes up for
disappointing his wife by uttering tender and loving compliments
such as, perhaps, informing her she's the nicest woman he's ever
come across.

An imaginative lover, the Irishman, possibly having read the
woman likes to be spoken dirty to, says such things as "shite,
arsehole". The woman is speechless. The man is now thrusting
away, his mind a kaleidoscope of jumbled erotic thoughts.

The woman wonders if they should repaint the ceiling. Sometimes
she utters a word of encouragement such as "Are you sure it's in?
" Given his level sexual expertise the Irishman's ideal partner
should be a versatile lover specialising in the faked orgasm.
This takes the form of a breathless shout "Ooyah, ooyah, Big
Boy". Eventually its all over. The man roles over, falls asleep,
and commences snoring like a pig. There's no one in the world
performs quite like an Irishman - veritable prince in the kingdom
of sex.

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Grater Plater - The Plate that Grates

Grate cheese, garlic, ginger and more. Grater Plater is designed
with hard and tempered ceramic so it never dulls. It also is tripled
glazed so nothing sticks to the surface. It's safe to the touch even
for the softest hands.

Buy 1, Get 1 for the low price of $10.

Get More Info

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Genie Chips
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A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains
without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his
last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of
the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand and discovers what
looks to be an old briefcase.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID
badge and a dull gray dress...

There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked
behind one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie....You know how I
work....You have three wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy... 'I'm not going to
trust a FEMA genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation and it looks
like you're a goner anyway!'

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie
is right.

'OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and
drink...'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever
seen

And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
;

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with
rare gold coins and precious gems.

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good
one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... 'I wish that no
matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

Moral of the story:

If the government offers to help you, there's going to be a string
attached.

Rob

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Rotoshave - The World's #1 Electric Razor

Rotoshave gives you the closest shave you'll ever get in 90 seconds.
With its patented multi-angled blade technology and curved head
design it adjusts to your shape while giving you a safe and smooth
shave.

Offer includes two cartridges, travel case, personal grooming kit
and demonstration DVD.

Get More Info

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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Love is Life is Love
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/D_H/D_Li.html

John w/ Grandpa's Farm
http://heavens-gates.com/farm/

Undersea Restaurant!
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Heavenly Homes
http://www.poetrybyken.us/ipoems26/Heavenly%20Homes.html

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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari

Smallest Chevy V-8
http://www.moyermade.com/chevyV8.html

Chrysler Turbo Encabulator Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/nxub3m

Real Snail Mai Via Dianne
http://www.realsnailmail.net/

Waterproofing your child
http://www.childdrowningprevention.com/index.html

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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

FBI Internet Investigations
http://www.fbi.gov/cyberinvest/cyberhome.htm

DBAN
http://www.dban.org/

Hard Drive Eraser
http://www.harddriveeraser.org/

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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
Amazing Doghouses
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doghouses.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.themoggy.com/internet.htm

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We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.

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Movie Links

I Like Boobs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dgjgja.htm

Idiot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsassd.htm

IKEA Ford
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhdskj.htm

Komiek
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hdjss.htm

Kosovo Music Video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hakhka.htm

The Making Of An Insurgent
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hsdsjhss.htm

The Egg, Lemon, And Orange
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hsjsjks.htm

The Genie And The Blonde
http://www.buffaloschips.com/huqwiiuq.htm

The Proper Way To Listen To Classical Music
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asaaa.htm

They Were Expendable
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jwjqwkq.htm

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Camel Chips
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A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized
halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was
about to die.
They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their
rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.

After several days of not being rescued, they agreed that they were
not going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and they
discussed their predicament in great depth.

Finally the priest said to the nun, "You know, Sister, I am about to
die, and there's always been one thing I've wanted here on earth to
see a woman naked. Would you mind taking off your clothes so I can
look at you?"

The nun thought about his request for several seconds and then
agreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked,
"Well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a man
naked, either.
Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?"

With little hesitation, the priest also stripped.

Suddenly the nun exclaimed, "Father! What is that little thing
hanging between your legs?"

The priest patiently answered, "That, my child, is a gift from God.
If I put it in you, it creates a new life."

"Well," responded the nun, "forget about me. Stick it in the camel
ass and lets get the hell out of here!"

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Time Life - The World at War - The most powerful documentary ever
made.

The ultimate visual history of World War II. From North Africa to
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Toon Chips
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breast feeding
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breast ex
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breast feeding 2
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breast implants
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breast reduction
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Clean-n-Green Laundry Ball

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Limerick Chips
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There was a young fellow named Simon,
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl,
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond.
________________________________

There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner.
At a quarter to eight
they sat down and ate;
And at twenty to nine it was in her.
________________________________

There was a young fellow named Gluck
Who found himself shit out of luck.
Though he petted and wooed,
When he tried to get screwed
He found virgins just don't give a fuck.
<Snagged by>
Ross

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Golden Age of Country

Enjoy hours of memorable and influential hits from the 50's and
60's. This incredible collection features 158 hits from country
legends like Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, George Jones and more. Music
that truly represents the golden age in country music history.

Plus, you'll receive a special bonus volume.

View Web Version

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Parting Chips
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A beautiful young Jewish girl comes home and says, "Ma, I got
married."
Her mother says, "Oy, that's great."

She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab."

Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great."

She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond your
wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of
luxury for the rest of your lives."

Six months later, she walks in the beautiful new house she bought
for her parents and says, "Ma, I love my Arab sheik, but my God, all
he wants to do is boff me in my ass. Day and night, that's all
he'll do is bang me in my ass. When I got married, my asshole was
the size of a dime...now it's the size of a silver dollar."

Her mother says, "So for ninety cents you're going to make trouble?"

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DogPedic - Memory Foam Bed for Dogs

With the combination of memory and supporting foam, now your pets
can get the comfort they deserve. This bed conforms to your dog's
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This offer is not available in stores.

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Bonus Chip
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You are suffering form what is technically known as an Electra
Complex," the psychiatrist is informing his blonde female patient.
"In other words, you are in love with your father." The blonde
breaks down into hysterical sobbing. "Now, now," comforts the
shrink. "It's not all that bad." "Yes.. (snif)... yes, it is,"
gets out the blonde between sobs. "I have no chance at all... he's
a married man!"

The recently married young woman was weeping and pouring out her
heart and troubles to the church's appointed marriage counselor.
"Isn't there some way, without turning into a nag, that I can keep
my husband in line?" The counselor scowled. "Well young lady," he
said, "maybe that's the problem, your husband shouldn't have to wait
in line!"

Two college women were discussing the date one had had the night
before. "Oh, Nancy, he was sooo erudite, and clever, and
sophisticated. He speaks ten languages, drives a Lamborghini, took
me to a Parisian restaurant and ordered the meal and wine in French,
then took me to his penthouse apartment to look over his Russian
book collection by the fireplace." "Wow, Gail, he sounds fabulous!
But just how far did he get with you?" "Well, I really rather not
say, but he was quite a cunning linguist!"

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The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.

Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder

Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1522

Saturn vs Mars

BJ: What do you have in the box Rudy?

Rudy: I saved my coupons and got a telescope. We are putting it
together as we speak.

Sandi: Cresent wrench please.

Katie: Cresent wrench.

A few minutes later...

Rudy: How's she look pops?

BJ: Looks good. Tonight is supposed to be a clear night so can I
join
you?

Sandi: Sure thing daddy.

About 10 pm that night...

BJ: We are in luck, we have a full moon.

Katie: Let me see...Wow, pretty neat.

BJ: This is a pretty powerful telescope, you can see Mars, Saturn,
Jupiter.

Katie: Uranus?

Rudy: Huh? My anus...

Sandi: No Rudy she means the planet Uranus. I think our telescope
is
not powerful enough.

Rudy narrowing his eyes at Katie: Are you sure you meant the
planet?

Katie humming...: Oh sure I did Rudy... I also noticed your
asteroid belt
is large.

Sandi: Run Katie run!

The herd in Guthrie

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Remember 9/11/01

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