Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have been having trouble with my phone lines for about
the past two weeks. It was dropping calls after the first ring
about half the time and other times there would be nothing
on the line except static and no dial tone. My internet was
affected too as incoming calls would knock it offline and I
could live without phone calls from Charter offering to bundle
but when the internet started going down on me I called
ATT and of course got no answer and instead a recommendation
to do it online. I did manage to get online but after going
through the whole lost password bit and answering stupid
questions and stupid emails it told me that the system was
down and they couldn't help me. Friday morning, the dial tone
was back so I called ATT and asked to talk to somebody.
Of course they wouldn't schedule a repair because my line
was working but they did give me a number for a repairman in the
area that I can call when it is not working. ( if the daughter has
minutes on her cell.) I had suspected that the problem was in
the DSL filters and asked if they could send me a couple and
they transferred me to the DSL branch. Service went a bit downhill
from that point as they tried to send me back to repair and when
I wouldn't go along with that they told me I could buy filters
at the ATT store for 4 dollars a piece. Being careful not to
verbally abuse the service person and have my telephone
disconnected, I explained that after paying for linebacker
service since last century, I didn't really expect to have to
buy replacement parts. I was told that it would cost them
12.00 shipping and handling to send me one whereas I could
buy three of them for that amount a mile from my house.
Now to me that is like if you drove out of the Ford Dealer
and the wheels fell off of your Expedition and when you ask them
for new lug nuts they send you to the Pep Boys down the street.
It would not make me want to buy another Ford but what I
am going to do for ATT is call their repair number and have
them send a repairman out to fix my lines when they go out
and I will bet the cost of a trouble call to them will be more
than 12 bucks.
Gotta go check on the big kettle of stew I have on the stove. It
should be done about 2300. Just in time for mid-rats Enjoy the
chips ... buffalo
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Short Chips
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After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning
her husband about his lurid past. "C'mon, tell me," she
asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you
slept with?"
"Baby, " he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit."
Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her
hubby to tell her.
"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then
there's
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~~~
Drunk walks up to the host of a party and says, "'Scuse me,
but do you have green toilet paper that says, 'Fuck you?'"
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~~~~
A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned
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Short Chips
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Q: What do you call a man who hates women?
A: A fashion designer.
---------------------
Q: What's the difference between a child molester
and a fucking freak?
A: Political correctness.
---------------------
Q: What does a Jewish woman say just before she has an orgasm?
A: "Sorry Mom, but I have to hang up now!"
---------------------
Q: Why are blondes like Corn Flakes?
A: Because they're simple, they're easy, and they taste good!
---------------------
Q: What's the most common cause of hearing loss among men?
A: His wife saying she wants to talk to him.
---------------------
Q: How long did it take to fill the red sea?
A: A very long period.
---------------------
Q: There are two fleas on a pussy. One is smoking dope...
what's the other one doing?
A: Sniffing crack.
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Rose Chips
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There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer
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The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only
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Short Chips
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"John and I had hardly finished one argument when I screwed up and
started another one," said Jill.
"How'd you do that?" asked Nadine.
"Well," said Jill, "you know when you're done with a big fight and
your significant other suggests a little 'make-up sex?'"
"Yeah" says Nadine.
Jill replies, "I guess it wasn't the right time for me to ask, 'Does
it have to be with you?'"
~~~
After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone
number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.
"Is Mike there?" I asked confused.
"Umm, he's in the shower," she responded.
"Would you please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and
immediately hung up.
When he didn't return the call, I angrily dialed again. This time a
man answered. "This is Mike," he said.
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Bra Chips
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What To Do With 1000 Bras
~ Thanks to you, scarecrows nationwide will now get in touch with
their
feminine side.
~ At Halloween: "Here's a piece of candy for you, and a little
something
for your Mom."
~ You and 999 of your cross-dressing friends smuggle 2,000
cantaloupes
out of the Piggly Wiggly.
~ Make 2000 lacey yarmulkes with safety chinstraps.
~ Dump them in a pile. Remove clothes. Roll ar... um, I mean "Donate
them to a women's shelter."
~ Stitch them together, tie them between two trees, and use them as
a
launch vehicle for the National Missile Defense System. Twice as
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~ Get 1000 mannequins and start practicing, Poindexter.
~ Creative wallpapering for the "Hobbies and Recreational
Activities"
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~ Time to re-stock the J. Edgar Hoover Museum gift shop!
~ "999 bras on the wall, 999 bras. Take one down and pass it around,
998
bras on the wall..."
~ Put a check beside "Phase I" of your plan to build 1,000 Britney
Spears robots.
~ Bury Tom Jones once and for all.
~ Pick out the largest and start looking for Cinderella.
~ Position friend atop skyscraper with bras.
~ Do "Native American Lingerie Dance" on sidewalk until large crowd
gathers.
~ Give the secret signal and wait for hilarity to ensue.
~ Hold them hostage until bra-less Victoria's Secret models storm
your
house to get them -- and since you're dreaming anyway, they'll bring
beer.
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Forgotten Hero's
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Holiday2/Heros.html
God's Love and Peace
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/GodsLoveAndPeace.htm
Carol w/ Praying Together
http://www.carolspoetry.com/pt.html
Melva/Spirit of the Corps
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Urban Train
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Humor With Our Troops 4
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The Groove Shack Juke Box
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Linkable Midis
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Kitty Korner
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Bird Tricks
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Benny Hill Wishing Well
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Be Quiet
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Cow Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start
heading down the alley that had the bulls.
They come up to the first bull and his sign stated:
"This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated
50 times in a year, you could learn
from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated:
"This bull mated 65 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one
mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a
month. You can learn from this one, also."
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said:
"This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He
mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!!
You could really learn from this one."
The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and
inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."
Randy
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Toon Chips
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Ride a Fat Boy
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Bum Fuck Egypt
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young lady of fashion
Who had oodles and oodles of passion.
To her lover she said,
As they climbed into bed,
"Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"
____________________________
There was a young stud from Missouri
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'Til taken to court!"
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And condemned by a poorly-hung jury.
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny goes to school and the teacher says, "Today we are
going to learn multi-syllable words. Does anybody have an example
of a multi-syllable word?"
Johnny raises his hand and says, "Mas-tur-bate."
The teacher smiles and says, "Wow Johnny, that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Crabtree, you're thinking of
Fell-a-tio, but that's a multi-syllable word too."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2042
The Games Doggies Play
Diana: What is with all the noise in the backyard?
BJ: I will go check.
BJ goes to the backyard and all the dogs are wearing modified
football helmets.
BJ: What are you guys playing?
Sandi: We are playing a version of Calvinball. Katie pitches the
soccer ball and Rudy hits it and runs towards first base and to
the next base.
BJ: How many bases are there?
Sandi: Fifty-three, nobody has made past thirty-third base yet.
BJ: Why the helmets?
Sandi: This is a contact sport. This is a combination of football,
rugby
soccer, baseball, basketball, cricket, wrestling and plain old thugery.
BJ: What are the rules?
Sandi: We stop when we are tired or hungry, that is about it or if you
are knocked out.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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