THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. - Plato GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! Better see if your gas can is still good. The new federally regulated gas cans are on the market now. These suckers are gonna make you cry when you gotta use one. The child proof spout takes a genius to figure out. And no matter what, the explosion proof design of the silly thing means that the sucker leaks! no matter how careful u are to use it. And to make matters worse? it costs a hell of a lot more than the old ones. Run out and see if you can find an old style can. Maybe you can be lucky enough to find a store that hasn't sold all the old ones all yet. better buy one if possible. Oh, and as an added footnote? if you smoke and you live in New York City? A pack of ciggys costs 12 bux now, and when the new ordinance goes into effect next Monday, it will ban smoking outside. The city recently passed a ordinance banning smoking in parks and any other areas controlled by the parks and recreation areas. In New York City, that covers just about all the open air there is left. Don't you love how big brother can decide what's good for us? We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman __________  THE COMICS wait a minute http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l017.html pussy trick http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l018.html  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES POWER POINT DISPLAY SIGNS OF TROUBLE ---Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich. ...Your suggestion box starts ticking. ...Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3. ...The simple instructions enclosed aren't. ...People send your wife sympathy cards on your anniversary. ...You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together. ...The plumber floats by on your kitchen table. ...You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had. ____________ The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Ohio. A few days after the election the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her father and says, 'So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?' 'I don't think so. It's an 18 hour drive." 'Don't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One. And a limousine will pick you up at your door.' 'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?' Oh Dad," replies Susan, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in Washington ' 'Honey,' Dad complains, 'you know I can't eat those rich foods you eat.' The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Dad. The best caterer in Washington will handle the entire affair, Ill ensure your meals are salt free. You and mom just have to be there.' So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new president's Dad and Mom. Dad noticing the senator sitting next to him leans over and whispers, 'You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States . The Senator whispers back, 'You bet I do.' Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football at Ohio State." __________ The Old Perfesser hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying, "You look like Helen Brown." "Well, you don't look so great in blue!" the woman snapped back. _______________ BUFFALO BILL Alarm Orgasmique http://www.buffaloschips.com/90909.htm FUN PAGES Warm Weather Earthquakes http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42226&s=n A Horrible Dream http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=6080&s=n Lifesize Star Wars Statues http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42573&s=n Taking Out His Nine-Iron http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=5961&s=n THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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