Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Hi all. Been up to my eyeballs in broken computers the past
few days. Just a word of advice, if you get a new computer
take a minute and burn your recovery discs for it. It is much
easier than talking to someone from HP or Toshiba, half way
around the world and trying to overcome language differences
and of course it hurts to pay for recovery discs when you could
have had them for free. It was good to find out that the hard
drives hadn't been damaged, which is common in laptops
as rough handling can send the heads flying into the discs
and recovering information from a damaged hard drive
can cost thousands of dollars.
The main drag through town has been closed down for
reconstruction making traffic slower and more maddening.
I was feeling a little road rage myself when I had to wait
through 4 lights to go two blocks while someone let traffic in
from the side streets. I don't mind being courteous but he
isn't buying my gas and I wasted a couple of miles worth
sitting behind this idiot thinking how easy it would be to push
his car through the intersections heh heh.
Anyhow they detoured traffic parallel to the businesses on the
main drag and put up signs each block to tell you where they
were located so you could get to their parking lots which are
generally off street. An additional advantage to this is that you
actually see the names of some businesses that you may not
know existed. One I spotted is called The Quilted Moose Quilt
Shop. I'm not in the market for a quilt but if I was I know where
to find one now.
Sorry about the ranting and enjoy the chips ... buffalo
Anewsletter you may enjoy
COUPON DELIGHT
COUPON LOVERS & MONEY SAVERS
If you love coupons, coupon trains, great deals and freebies, than this
is the group for you! We also play games,have drawings and share our
saving adventures. You must ride at least 1 train at all times to remain
active. Come Join Us and hop aboard!
Join Coupon Delight today
Click to join.
http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/group/CouponDelight/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limited Time Offer: Save $30 on Every Home Warranty Plan.
Protect Your Home with a Choice Home Warranty Today!
Choice Home Warranty - The nation's leading expert Home Warranty
Provider is offering this great opportunity to add a peace of mind Home
Warranty to your home or rental properties at low special pricing.
- Knowledgeable Dedicated Staff
- Licensed & Insured Contractors
- Comprehensive Coverage
- 24/7 Round The Clock Service
- If It Can't Be Fixed, It'll Be Replaced
- Green Replacement Program
A Choice Home Warranty Can Save You Money
Get Your Choice Home Warranty at a Discounted Rate. Right Now Save 15%
on our Most Popular Coverage Packages. Also, Get a low $45 Service Call
Fee that will remain as long as you remain a CHW Customer.
CHW Home Warranties Cost about $1 a day, and just one repair a year can
easily exceed the cost of a Choice Home Warranty.
Get a FREE Instant Quote
Visit us at
http://buffaloschips.com/homwar
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Packer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the Packers / Bills game, Buffalo released quarterback Trent
Edwards.
During the Packers / Eagles game, the Packers injured Philadelphia
quarterback Kevin Kolb.
Philadelphia then had to play backup quarterback Michael Vick.
During a playoff game against the Eagles, the Packers injured Michael
Vick
and another backup was needed.
After the Packers / Cowboys game, Dallas fired Wade Phillips.
After the Packers / Vikings game, Minnesota fired Brad Childress.
Four weeks after losing to the Packers, the 49er's coach Mike Singletary
was
fired and replaced.
During the Bears Playoff game, the Packers injured Jay Cutler and backup
Todd Collins forcing the Bears to go with 3rd string quarterback Caleb
Hanie.
Question...Is it just me or did the Packers create more jobs than Obama
last year?
Larry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
ass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k001.html
I'll call you back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k002.html
he's out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k003.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neanderthal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you know, Neanderthal man may have interbred with
modern man. His descendants are with us even today,
passing for full-blooded Homo sapiens.
If you suspect a "touch of the old hand ax" in your
ancestry, score yourself on this test:
1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself
five points.
2. Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not,
take five points.
3. Got a chin? If the answer is no, add three points.
4. How about a forehead? If not, add another three points.
5. Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? Then
give yourself five points.
6. Do you ever open Coke bottles with your teeth? If you do,
add ten points.
7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels
than sitting in a chair? Take five points.
8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add
one point for every five degrees of slope.
9. Less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch
under.
10. If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one
point for every inch of difference.
11. Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
12. Pigeon-toed? Five points.
13. Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club?
You're normal--no points.
14. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big
enough to hold an apple? Add five points.
15. Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add fifteen points.
16. Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when
you're not? Give yourself ten points.
17. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and
an overcoat? Take five more points.
18. Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or "Animal"? Three points.
Scoring:
0-20 points:
You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens. Feel free to build bridges,
compose symphonies, and overrun the world.
20-40 points:
A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will occasionally have
spells of primitive behavior, crawling around on all fours and
whooping wildly. If you live in California, no one will notice.
40-60 points:
You can still function quite well in the modern world, but avoid
eating in fancy restaurants lest your table manners give you away.
60-80 points:
Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should consider a
career in pro football.
80-100 points:
Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City; there is no
place for you in human society. Try running for public office
in the Republican Party instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Amazing Hummingbird Vine No More Boring Bird Houses
Turn your backyard into a natural hummingbird playground. In the first
year of planting the beautiful, hardy vines you'll notice the climb
skyward. It wil climb on it's own covering walls, arbors and fences in
no time. These vines produce vibrant trumpet flowers in a rainbow of
colors. Each blossom is loaded with nectar that hummingbirds find
irresistible and return year after year.
Buy today and we'll double your order.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/humvin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Osama Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Osama's Last Words"
10. "Say Omar, is that a vulture in the sky or is that a B-2?"
9. "Okay men we have spotted some navy seals just
over the ridge, let's show them how Arabs fight."
8. "It is perfectly safe to hid here in this compound with
the missiles, ammo and petro. The Americans have
nothing that can penetrate this compound."
7. "Omar, I am tired of hiding in this compound; I will
just stick my head out for a minute to see if the coast
is clear."
6. "Simple Rasheed, I will simply bribe the American
devils with my money and they will not kill us."
5. "Americans are soft, if we surrender, they must send us
to America for a trial."
4. "It was nice of the Americans to drop food to us. I
wonder why we have these t-shirts with the target on
them."
3. "Hey American pig, I double dare you to drop that
nuke."
2. "I will go and check and see what that wop wop wop
noise is outside."
and the number one famous last words:
1. "What do you mean Omar by saying I have a red laser
dot on my forehead?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aluma Wallet - As Seen On TV!
The Aluminum Wallet!
Finally Fashion meets Function!
Buy 1 Get 1 FREE!
2 for Just $10.99!
Never worry about losing your valuables again!
Aluma Wallet Features:
Made of Die-Cast Aluminum Alloy
Ultra-Slim Outer Case
Waterproof to Keep your Valuables Dry
Compact Size is Great for both Men & Women
Nearly Indestructible!
Aluma Wallet is the Smart & Safe choice for both Men & Women!
Not Available in Stores an Online Exclusive!
Order Now:
http://buffaloschips.com/aluma
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hankie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Captain rounded all his men to check on their intellectual
faculties.
Taking a small handkerchief from his pocket he says. "Smith, when I
wave my handkerchief what does it make you think about??" "Oh!! Sir
it makes me think of the train station. Well Smith ... why does it
make you think of the train station.
Because Sir ... on Sundays in the afternoon we often would go down
to the train station, and when the train left the station people
would wave their handkerchiefs like you do Sir.
Very good Smith. Let's see you, Thomas, when I wave my handkerchief
what does it make you think about??
Oh well Sir... It makes me think about the port. Why does it make
you think about the port??.
Sir, because when I go to the port the passengers on the outgoing
ships wave at their relatives and friends that way.
That's very good Thomas, let's see you Gibson, when I wave my
handkerchief what does it make you think about??.
Sir. It makes me think about fucking! Oh, I see, well why does it
make you think about fucking??
Because Sir, the only thing I think about is fucking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grow Tomatoes Bigger and Faster with the Topsy Turvy Tomato Tree!
The Topsy-Turvy Tree is the perfect solution to your garden to grow
healthy, rich, vine-ripe tomatoes - 20% faster!
Includes:
5 Foot Powder Coated Steel Grow Stand
Oversized 3-Port Grow Bag
Stainless Steel Hanging System
Grow 3 Different Plants in the Same Planter
All for only 2 easy payments of $19.95 (plus P&H).
http://buffaloschips.com/topturv
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack and Jill were watching a TV show one night where the wife hired
a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was
"cheating on her.
Jack asked, "Would you ever do that?"
Jill said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was,
but to see if I could find out what she saw in you."
Mike is sitting at the bar looking totally down in the dumps. The
bartender asks, "What's wrong Mike?"
Mike replies, "My wife is too tired for housework and sex but she
won't let me hire a maid or a hooker".
A woman's husband always lets her know when he's not getting enough.
The other night when their boys were being particularly
rambunctious, and groping each other, she yelled at them "In this
house, we don't touch each other's privates."
To which her husband replied, "No kidding."
The Federal Witness Protection Program has come up with a sure-fire
method for making absolutely certain that people entering the
program are NEVER found by anyone.
They just change the witness's name to G. Spot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extended Service no obligation quote.
Get the extra protection you and your family need on
the road right here:
http://buffaloschips.com/mtce
Cover most vehicle with less than 125,000 miles and
less than 10 years old.
Also includes:
- 24-Hour Roadside Assistance
- Car Rental Benefits.
- Trip Interruption Benefit.
- Extended Towing Benefits
Go here for details:
http://buffaloschips.com/mtce
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/An Amazing Man and Dog!
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Sk.html
John w/ Why Men Are Just Happier People
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_oefh/761/men.htm
Aww Animals 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals5.html
Ray's Frredom Rock!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedomrock.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Get Crispy Food Fast From Your Microwave
The Perfect Micro Crisper turns your microwave into a gourmet-reheating
machine, turning those drab and soggy leftovers back into tasty meals.
You can cook, brown, fry, crisp and more right in your microwave. The
Perfect Micro Grill is uniquely designed with raised ridges that drain
fat away during the cooking process, letting the food sear and adding
flavor without grease.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/crisp
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Match Game Via Samantha
http://blackdog.net/games/misc/matches/index.html
World's Most Spectacular Tunnels Via Samantha
http://myamazingfact.blogspot.com/2009/05/worlds-most-spectacular-tunnels.html
Reusing Old Panty Hose Via Samantha
http://www.diylife.com/2007/11/13/20-cool-ways-to-reuse-old-pantyhose/
Napa Flight Via Dianne
http://www.couperus.org:80/Albums/Napa/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Background Sets Via Sally
http://cjtmw.lbbhost.com/pages/my-pages/PAGES/Background-Sets.html
Cave Images Via Samantha
http://www.darklightimagery.net/caveimages.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.dogster.com/photoviewer/gallery/Puppy
Kitty Korner
Giant Catfish
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giantcfish.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Crazy White Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/okoil.htm
Crime Scene Technology
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kggj.htm
Cubs Game
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khgfcf.htm
Cucumber Sandwich
http://www.buffaloschips.com/wjsxo.htm
Dancing With A Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khjkj.htm
Dog In Pool
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdee.htm
Dogs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sddd.htm
Don't Smoke here
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kdkdd.htm
Drill Team For Retired Guys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kkkkkk.htm
Earthquake
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsss.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paddy visited his parents the day after his wedding. His father
took him aside and asked, "How did it go last night, son?"
Paddy winked and elbowed his dad. "Gee, great. You know, the way
she was acting, I think I could have screwed her."
Politicians talk to the country the way men talk to women. They
say, "Trust me; go all the way with me, and everything will be all
right."
And what happens? Nine months later, you're in trouble.
Q. Why was two-piece bikini invented?
A. To separate meat section from the dairy section.
In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to
some questions the teacher was asking.
"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to
be seen by the opposite sex?"
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me
turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual'?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
coin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjfkdlgjdlgf.htm
col sanders
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjkfgjdflkgjfd.htm
cold
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jghjkdfgjkdlfg.htm
cold as
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksdfhkdgfd.htm
cold as ice
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfdklgjfklgf.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISH Network Plans starting at $24.99/mo
Why would you ever pay more?
Get the best deal in TV!
12-months w/24 month agreement
Find out if your zip code qualifies for this special internet offer
http://buffaloschips.com/dnw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young woman in Dee
Who stayed with each man she did see.
When it came to a test
She wished to be best,
And practice makes perfect, you see.
_________________________________
There was a young girl named O'Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers
But her hair and her bush didn't tally.
_________________________________
There was a young girl in Berlin
Who eked out a living through sin.
She didn't mind fucking,
But much preferred sucking,
And she'd wipe off the pricks on her chin.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
See Everything In High Definition Color And Clarity
HD Aviators are the fashionable new sunglasses featuring built in high
definition technology at a price everyone can afford. Now you'll be
able to protect your eyes while still getting the color, clarity and
high definition you want. Like no other glasses you have ever worn.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/jklll
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The racing car driver picked up a girl after a race,
went home with her, and took her to bed.
After a romp in the sack, he soon fell asleep, only
to be awakened suddenly when she smacked
him in the face.
"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you?" he asked.
"It was after you fell asleep that got you into
trouble," said the angry woman.
"What are you saying?" insisted the driver.
"In your sleep, you felt my breasts and mumbled, 'what
perfect headlights.' Then, you felt my thighs and
murmured, 'what a smooth finish...'"
"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.
"Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and yelled,
'Who the hell left the garage door open?'"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2030
New Kid on the Block
Rudy: Hey guys come here, there is a new dog across the
street. I have not seen him before.
All the dogs have their noses pressed against the window.
Sandi: Let's ask mom if we can go outside after 5 and go
visit.
later...The four head across the street to go visiting.
Katie: Hey, we are from across the street, welcome to
our neighborhood. What is your name?
Max and I am a St Bernard.
Rudy: You sure are a big un.
Val: Yeah, you make two or three of my dad, Rudy.
Max laughing: Well, we are bred to be large. We are
working dogs. We rescue people in the mountains.
Katie: So what are you doing in Kansas Mr Mountain dog?
Max: Oh, got too old for the mountains, so did my master.
We had to go to the flatlands for our health. We have the tisms
you know.
Rudy: Oh I know that quite well. Tell you what, do you like
to swim?
Max: Love to, it drops off 80 lbs.
Rudy: We have a swimming hole not to far away, we will show
it to you.
Max: I think I will like it here in this neighborhood.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment