THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! Good counselors lack no clients William Shakespear GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! A rather startling trend is developing with internet providers. AT and T is beginning to place caps or limits on their broad band service. They have started this in a large number of markets and plan to expand it. For me, this does not matter, at least for now, since I use cable. This is, however, a bad trend. If you cable users think it does not matter, guess what? If one of em does it, they all start doing it. I know one thing, if they start that in this house with cable, I know two adult children who will have to get their own internet connection. heheh. Did you also notice there is a bill in congress to reduce atm charges? My credit union says that if it passes, they will be forced to end free checking and start charging fees for it in order to make up the losses. Some how, government meddling never does any good. go figger. We do hope you enjoy today's issue Cordially Martin aka the postman _________  THE COMICS man invents the wheel http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j016.html fairy god mother http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j017.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES new in the building http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1041.html POWER POINT DISPLAY It seems impossible http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd686.html 3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was. The first said, "The meanest animal in the world is a Hippopotamus, cause it's got such big jowls. One bite and your gone." The second shook his head and said "Nah, hippo may be mean, but ain't nothing meaner than an alligator. He got a big mouth and all them teeth, snap, one bite, ha, one swallow, you gone." The third gentleman sat for a moment, and finally he spoke and said, " No sir, the meanest animal in the world is a hippagator." The other two in disbelief inquired as to what in the world is a hippagator, believing there was no such animal. The gentleman slowly began to explain, " A hippagator got a hippo head on one end, and an 'gator head on the other". "WAIT" interrupted the others, "If he has a head on both ends, How does he shit?" The reply was simply," He don't, that's what makes him so mean"! ____________ 10 ways you know you've had good sex.... 1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge. 2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies. 3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area. 4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you. 5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bed springs. 6 You've both gone down one clothing size. 7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. There's nothing left to adjust. 8. You have to breathe into a brown paper bag. 9. Boy, are you hungry! 10. You're absolutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny at the same time. ______________ The irate diner raised his hand to catch the attention of a passing waiter. "Excuse me," said the man, "but how long have you been working here?" "About a year," replied the waiter. "In that case," said the diner, "never mind. It couldn't have been you that took my order." ___________ A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy." Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William." Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa." "Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William .......the little shit's name is Kevin." BUFFALO BILL Paris speaks out http://www.buffaloschips.com/90210.htm THAT's ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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