Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Thirty- nine years ago Monday was my first morning in boot camp at
Great Lakes Illinois. I had visions of being dragged out of bed at
0500 by some screaming company commander but to tell you the truth
we hadn't even been assigned to a barracks yet and my first night at
boot camp was spent sitting in a chair in a processing room and
filling out some of the necessary paper work. After being assigned
a billet number, which we were urged to memorize we got our first
Navy breakfast. I knew right away I was going to like this place as
it tasted good, had good variety and you could take as much as you
wanted.
From there we were given our first Navy haircut. I had already had
mine all but shaved before leaving for boot camp but still had to
sit in a chair and choose the type of hair cut I wanted. My hair
was shorter than the attachments on the clippers but I guess they
had to ask anyhow. Next stop was clothing issue and it was a major
disappointment. I had worn bell bottom dungarees at college for the
past two years and was excited that the Navy was going to give me a
sea bag full of dungarees and a new pea coat to replace the one I
had lost at a dorm party. No such luck as the CNO's wife was a
clothing designer and we were one of the first companies to receive
the utility uniform with its pull over shirt and straight legged
jeans. I later bought regular dungarees which were considered an
alternative uniform and I think still are. Contrary to popular
belief the clothing all fit comfortably and we changed into our
uniforms with a Navy watch cap to show the world that we were
recruits. We were given boxes for our civilian belongings, as
except for your wallet you were only allowed to keep navy issue gear
and the Navy sent the box home for us.
The other item we were issued was a ditty bag, which was a cloth bag
with a drawstring. It contained soap, a soap holder, tooth brush,
shaving gear, laundry ties and a book of chits of varying
denominations to use for haircuts and sundries until you got your
first paycheck. You were allowed to purchase cigarettes also but
not to carry them with you as smoking was only allowed after hours
and in lounges but in the old wooden barracks of Camp Barry, that
was allowed only around a sand-filled bucket with a fire watch set.
Camp Barry was our temporary home while we were waiting to be
assigned to a permanent company and after a quick lesson in making a
bunk we were finally allowed to go to sleep. I slept like a rock.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A Newsletter You May Enjoy
CIGARCLIPS
Funny TV or Film clips taken from around the world
To join send a blank e-mail to
cigarclips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Pad Chips
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On the eve of the marketing campaign for his new invention, Apple
president Steve Jobs was discussing it with his top associate. Steve
was just finishing up a rundown of the iPad's features when he
noticed a look of concern on the associate's face.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked.
"It's the name, iPad," the associate hesitantly said.
"What about the name?" Steve asked.
"It... well," the associate stammered out, "It kind of sounds like a
feminine hygiene product."
"What?" Steve wailed, "You think it sounds like a feminine hygiene
product? That's ridiculous! It does not sound like a feminine
hygiene
product! The name starts with an 'i'! It sounds like a computer!
Don't be stupid!"
"I'm sorry," said the associate, shrinking back a little.
"Oh, OK, don't worry about it," Steve said. "Now, listen.
Marketing,"
he continued. "I've come to the conclusion that the price tag of my
iPad is out of many people's price range, so I've decided to offer a
smaller version for a cheaper price."
"That's good," said the associate. "So you'll have two versions - a
smaller one and a larger one. What will they be called?"
Steve replied, "The smaller version will be called the Mini iPad and
the larger version will be called the Maxi iPad."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
pussy trick
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toothache
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fishing liscence
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Disease Chips
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A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing
one day.
While fishing, the old man starts talking about
how times have changed. The young man picks
up on this and starts talking about the various
problems and diseases going around.
Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole
lot of problems with all these diseases when
you were young did they?"
Grandpa replies, "Nope."
Teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe
sex?"
Grandpa replies, "A wedding ring."
Randy
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Short Chips
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A young lady went to a dance, and she had a low-cut, strapless gown
on. Around her neck she wore a little golden airplane on a long
chain. All night she noticed a young man, staring at her.
In her embarrassment, she held up the airplane and said, "Oh, you
like my airplane, huh?"
The young man smiled mischievously. "No ma'am, I was just admiring
the landing field."
Nadine: Were your parents upset when you got a divorce?
Jill: Well, you know how parents are. My mother said, "SO!
Is this how it's going to be? Just one man after another..for the
rest of your life?"
Nadine: Typical! What did you tell her?
Jill: I said, "Gee, I hope so!"
During a university course in human sexuality, the instructor was
discussing various items in the Kinsey report.
The class members gasped audibly when the instructor read out that a
woman had several hundred orgasms in a single session.
A male voice said, "Wow, who was she?"
A female voice followed with, "The hell with her...Who was HE?'
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Tarzan Chips
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Tarzan and his new homosexual lover, Homo-boy (Jane left him and
returned to England) are traveling through the jungle when they are
suddenly attacked by a troop of savage Baboons. In the ensuing
fight they get separated. As Tarzan fights some of the attackers
off, his cowardly homosexual lover clings gingerly to a thin tree
branch, barely out of reach of the rest of the savage, attacking
Baboons.
After Tarzan has vanquished those Baboons confronting him, he turns
just in time to see his new lover's tree branch begin to break.
Thinking quickly, Tarzan leaps for a vine and swings precariously
towards his newfound sweetheart, Homo-boy.
As he nears him, Tarzan yells, "Grab the vine, Homo-boy, grab the
vine!"
Homo-boy, reaches out as Tarzan swings by... Homo-boy makes a quick
grab.
Suddenly, Tarzan screams, "Aaiiieeeeeeeee!" "I SAID THE VINE DAMMIT,
THE VINE!"
From that day forth, Tarzan was the best-hung male in the jungle...
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Milk Chips
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Notes to the Milkman
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."
Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"
Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds
keep pecking the tops off the milk."
Milkman. please could I have a loaf but not bread today."
Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a
baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."
Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a
dozen pints, but the other way round."
When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake
me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights
Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened."
My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it
before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."
Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby
two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me."
Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."
From now on please leave two pints every other day and one
pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays
when I don't want any milk."
My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get
money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen
table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."
Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean
tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."
When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler,
let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.
PS. Don't leave any milk.
No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he
is dead until further notice."
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Mirrored Image
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carolyn w/ Sixteen Candles ~ The Crest
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John w/ God and the Spider
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_classics/009/god_spider.htm
In My Life
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/Inmylife.htm
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Surfin Surfari
Subway and Bus Directions
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The Best Times to Buy Anything, All Year Round
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Liberty Air Show
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Japan Manhole Cover Art
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Balloon Party
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Beer By the Pool
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How To Put On a Bra
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Knife Guy
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Ladder
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Never Trust a Woman
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Bud Light Cat
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Bud Ads
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Buddy Greene Harmonica
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Bud Light Clown
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Milkman Chips
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One fine morning the milkman arrives at the house of family Jones. Mrs.
Jones opens the door, and asks him to come inside. She invites him in
the kitchen, where a huge and very good breakfast is prepared for him.
He sits down and very much enjoys all the excellent food. When he is
finished she asks him to come upstairs, and the milkman certainly has a
good time! When they dress and go down, she gives him a 5 dollar bill.
Now the milkman is really surprised, and asks where the 5 dollars are
for. She replies: "Well, yesterday I told my husband that is was your
birthday today, and he said: "So what, fuck the milkman, give him 5
bucks." But the breakfast was entirely my idea!"
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Toon Chips
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American Beauty
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First Time
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See you in Hell
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Cant Tell
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Limerick Chips
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There Was A Young Man From Australia,
Who Went On A Wild Bacchanalia.
He Buggered A Frog,
Two Mice And A Dog,
And A Bishop In Fullest Regalia.
A Young Bride And Groom Of Australia,
Remarked As They Joined Genitalia:
Though The System Seems Odd,
We Are Thankful That God
Developed The Class Mammalia.
There was an old man from Australia
Who painted his arse like a dahlia.
The colors were fine,
Likewise the design,
The aroma, alas, was a failure.
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Parting Chips
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A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He
says
to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100
dollars?
"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns
around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she
does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks
again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs
around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite
your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"
She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars,
eh?
Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over
there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal
the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he
grabs
them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them,
licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite
them or not?"
"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2039
The Thing is...
Ding Dong!
BJ: I will get it.
Rudy: Oh look it is Tami and she is wearing a feedsack.
Katie: That is your dress, how chic?
Tami: I am quite angry Katherine. This 'stuff' of yours
dissolved my dress.
BJ: Now hold on, Katie mentioned it wasn't fully tested yet
and you wanted it anyway.
Tami: Yeah I guess so.
Rudy: Were you naked?
Tami: No, Rob got me in the car in time, I guess the shaded
area of the car stopped the dress from finally dissovling.
Val: Wish I had my camera.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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