Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Eva found out the difference between old and new technology
today. She found Sandy's Polaroid Captiva camera. That was
an expensive gift that shot ugly wallet sized pictures and I think it
had only seen two or three rolls of film, the cassette of one was
still in the camera with enough juice to work the flash and the
little motors. Eva ran around for about a half hour snapping
pictures of Buffy and me and the cats, then she brought the
camera to me and wanted to see her pictures on the computer,
I think it finally got to her head that that wouldn't work after I
threatened to throw the camera at her. heh heh
It did get up to about 65 degrees today and I was enjoying it
immensely when I went out to do some errands. I was reminded
of a day last week though when even though the sun was shining,
there was a breeze and it was only 37 degrees outside. I drove
past Dairy Queen though and there was a line outside and the
people were all dressed in shorts. I really think it was only for
appearances to fool the tourists as they were probably counting
the seconds till they could race back to their cars with the heaters
on full blast and laugh at the next customer that came up there in
shorts.
Last but not least, regarding cameras I saw last week where the
last developing center that had the chemicals necessary to
process Kodachrome film had closed down. Fraid those that had a
roll left in their old Nikon or sitting in a drawer are out of luck. I
guess that kind of makes Paul Simon's song obselete unless
you change the line to " You took my Kodachrome away."
Enjoy the chips .... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
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Nun Chips
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Three nuns were in the church discussing various rumors
about the local priest. The first nun reported, "I was going through
Father's office the other day, and do you know what I found? A bunch
of pornographic magazines!"
The other nuns gasped. "What did you do?" they demanded.
"Well, of course I threw them in the trash," she replied.
The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in the Father's
room putting away the laundry, and I found a bunch of condoms!
"Oh my!" gasped the other nuns, stunned at this apparent violation
of the priest's chastity vow.
"What did you do???" they asked.
"I decided to teach him a lesson," said the second nun.
"I poked holes in all of the condoms!"
The third nun fainted.
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Scottish Chips
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Angus was a Scott lad who wore the kiltie.Angus had trouble with
catching colds he decided he should wear knickers under his kiltie
he saw an ad in the paper plaid cloth on sale he went to the store
and asked for a yard and a half of the plaid cloth the clerk said the
sale price was on only on full yards of cloth. Angus thought a moment
and said i will take three yards I can give half to my lass.
Angus went home cut out his knickers sewed them up and they were
beautiful Angus hung them up and took a nap. He had a date with his
lass but he slept
a little too long. When he woke he had to hurry and forgot to put on
his knickers.When he got to his lasses house he said lass I havs a
surprise for ye
just watch.He twirled around his kiltie flew out and he said did you
see it
lass? His lass being a shy lass said no angus I didnt see it he said
but lass youve got to see it so he twirled again
His lass knew he would keep it up said yes angus I saw it. Angus
said just think lass I have a yard and a half just like it for you.
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Sparrow Chips
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A horsefly kept biting an elephant near her tail. She kept swinging
her trunk, but he was far out of reach.
A little sparrow observed this and flew down and snipped the
horsefly in half.
"Oh, thank you!" said the elephant. "Listen, if there's anything I
can ever do for you, don't hesitate to ask."
The sparrow paused. "Well, ma'am -," he said.
"What is it," said the elephant. "You needn't be shy with me."
"Well," said the sparrow, "the truth is that all my life I wondered
how it would feel to fuck an elephant."
"Go right ahead," said the elephant. "Be my guest!"
The sparrow began to fuck away. Up above them, a monkey got very
excited and started to masturbate.
This shook a coconut loose and it hit the elephant smack on the
head.
"Ouch!" said the elephant.
The sparrow looked over from behind and said, "Am I hurting you,
dear?"
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Sorority Chips
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What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more
attractive? Her ankles.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball. You could eat a
bowling ball if you had to. You can't fit a sorority girl inside a
bowling ball.
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
the gutter and they always come back for more.
What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers ?
Sorority girls cost less per score.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About
40 lbs. How do you equalize the two? Feed the elephant.
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Introduce herself. Walks home.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic? Only
1500 went down on the Titanic.
How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
What's a sorority girl's favorite wine?
"Daaadddy, I want to go to mi-ammmmi."
What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape? Don't
know.
There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...
Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
'Cause everyone gets a turn.
How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie
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Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baseball Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed
a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They
stopped and discovered a nude female, drunk and passed out. Out of
respect for the lady, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it
over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed
it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took
off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted
his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and
wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it,
and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees
cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a
third time, and replaced it one last time.
The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you,
a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting
and looking?"
"Well," said the officer. "I am simply surprised. Normally when I
look under a Yankees hat, I find an asshole."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Saw the Light
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/SawLight.html
Helene's Place
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HelenesPlaceSiteRing/
The Visitor Via Samantha
http://www.diamondavid.com/poetry/TheVisitor.Jesus.php
Amazing Street-Legal Airplane!
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Surfin Surfari
HALL OF FAMER HARMON KILLEBREW DIES AT 74
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Cook's Recipes
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Ticks
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-remove-a-tick/
World Wide Panorama
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Watkins
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
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Digital Scrapbooking Via Samantha
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Holiday Fonts Via Samantha
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Hummingbirds Via Bob
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Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Giant Catfish
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Italian Chewing Gum
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Dead or Alive Holly Vance
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James David Manning
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Jeff Dunham Achmed the Dead
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Milk Chips
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A man and his wife were trying to have a baby, but after
several months they still had no success. The man decided
to go to the doctor to see what the problem was.
The doctor told him, "Maybe you have a low sperm count.
I'll need to run a few tests, so take this cup. I'll need
a semen sample."
The man took the cup, went to the restroom, and handled
his business. Afterward, a lady walked into the office to
find out if her baby (still in her womb) was healthy. She
started talking to the doctor about how excited she was to
be having her first child. While she was chatting, the man
walked out of the restroom with his sample but saw the
doctor with the lady, so he put the cup down on a table
and started pacing back and fourth.
The doctor noticed this and told the lady, "I'll have your
test results in a moment. Please have a seat while I finish
with this patient. We have coffee and donuts along with some
magazines on the table over there."
The lady sat down, and the man walked over to the doctor and
started talking about how he and his wife trying to
conceive.
While the man and the doctor were talking, the lady
interrupted and asked, "Excuse me, but the donuts are dry,
and I don't drink coffee. Do you have any more milk to go
with them."
The doctor says, "Milk? We never had any milk here."
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Toon Chips
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Amish gas sign
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Amish Mechanic
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Amish Viagra
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An Alien on the moon
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Anal sex
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Analist
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young lady of Dexter
Whose husband exceedingly vexed her,
For whenever they'd start
He'd unfailingly fart
With a blast that damn nearly unsexed her.
________________________________________
There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her.
To cry, when you came,
"Oh dear! What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over."
________________________________________
There was a young lady of fashion
Who had oodles and oodles of passion.
To her lover she said,
As they climbed into bed,
"Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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Young Tim has just finished high school and, not being too bright,
he wants to get a job at a local mechanic's workshop in
Christchurch.
Tim spies this advert for a job in a Motor Spares Shop and hurries
over.
Unfortunately, when he steps in there are already 2 guys there
before him.
Tim with tears in his eyes explains to the manager that he really
needs the job. Manager looks at him and says, "You know what Tim -
I'd really like to give you this job but see these two guys are here
before you ..
you're going to have be really something special to get this job you
know!"
Tim thinks now, mmmm, and then he says, "well boss, there is one
thing -
if you take a spark plug and stick it into my arse - I can tell you
what type of spark plug it is."
The manager goes "Wow .. that's something - lets test you out!"
So Tim turns around and drops his pants. The boss takes a Bosch
spark plug and shoves it into Tim's arse.
Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... Bosch!!".
The boss, goes .. "Wow, that's really something - but lets test you
out again!"
He takes a NGK spark plug and shoves it into Tim's arse.
Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... NGK !!".
The boss, goes .. "Wow, you're really good .. but, one more time -
I need to be sure. "
Boss thinks now, lets catch this guy out! He unzips his pants,
takes out his penis and sticks it into Tim's arse.
Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeeee .... Champion!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2034
Garage Sale - Wrap Up
Everyone is exhausted. The dogs are stretched out on the
lawn. Diana is crashed in a lawn chair as is BJ.
Well not everyone is crashed...
Katie: Hey guys, the day is being wasted. We need to
figure out what to do with our newly acquired cash
influx.
Rudy through heavy eyelids: Sleep is what we need to
do.
Sandi: I second that emotion.
BJ: Hear hear.
Val: Katie may have something. We could go to a park
and play, maybe go swimming.
Diana: Grumble, you have got to be kidding me.
Katie/Val: You guys are such downers.
The Herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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