THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! Be sure to support our sponsor!  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman __________ THE COMICS  __________ LETS GO TO THE MOVIES everybodys doing it http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1054.html POWER POINT DISPLAY When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house; a beautiful twenty room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven. One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit. "That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?" "Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course and three Rolls Royces." "Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates. "No," said his new friend, "actually, I was the captain of the Titanic." Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off to find St. Peter. Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better?!!" "Yes, but we use Windows," replied Peter, "and the Titanic only crashed once." ____________ It was the first time that they had made love. They were fondling each other intimately. She had his dong in her hand. "What do you call it?" she asked. "Some guys call theirs Dick or Peter, John Thomas or Willie. What do you call yours?" "I don't have to call mine anything," he replied "It usually 'cums' without being called." ___________ The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood up and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him. "You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum." BUFFALO BILL Dancing With A Man http://www.buffaloschips.com/khjkj.htm Dog In Pool http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdee.htm THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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