Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I posted a picture of me finally on Facebook last week after I
took my mom's picture down after Mother's Day. Thank you for
all of the nice compliments from herd members that have never
seen that picture before but I have a confession to make in that
that picture is probably at least seven years old and although I
am a few pounds lighter my hair has turned mostly gray. I mentioned
that it was about time to cut it off for the summer and several
women told me I should keep it. I appreciate that there are still
women who find a beard attractive but it will not be 35 degrees
at night for much longer and the less hair I have during the
summer the more comfortable I will be when the humidity hits.
I found a beard gauge online somewhere and I was comparing
my beard length on it and it said it was Wizard length but
since I haven't found it necessary to use sorcery yet to serve up
a batch of chips yet I guess I can do without the beard till
fall.
Looked like a full moon out there tonight and Eva was watching
horror clips on You Tube including Chucky which is her favorite.
She got into a video of somebody shooting themselves with a phony
looking assault rifle. Eva wasn't the least bit impressed and she asked
if Scooby Doo was on there and he was on a television in the
background of the video. It had a warning that it might be disturbing
to some but when a five year old finds Scooby Doo more
interesting, I wouldn't quit your day job. Eva moved on to watching
videos of how to make gummy bears.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Alphabetic Chips
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They never learn
A wife asked her husband to describe her.
He said, " You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J & K."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
He answered, " Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
Fantastic, Gorgeous, Hot."
She said, " Oh, that's so lovely darling, but what about I, J &
K?"
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"A" NOW STANDS FOR AMBULANCE, ONE OF WHICH DELIVERED HIM TO
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Ian
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Phone Chips
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A Husband and his wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex, they
will call it a 'PHONE CALL' so that the kids will not decode.
One day, the husband sent his son to tell his mother that he wants to
make a phone call.
Mother replies: Tell your father that the Network is bad today.
Husband: Tell your mother that if there is no Network at home, I will go
to the "Public Phone".
Wife sent back, tell your father that if he dares goes to a Public
Phone, then I will open a " Call Center " at home."
Patricia
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Virgin Chips
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On the eve of her wedding, the bride-to-be confessed to her best friend
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virgin, and that her pussy was loose because her former boyfriend had a
big dick.
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She went ahead and followed her friend's advice. On her wedding night,
she and her new husband went wild. They did it in the tub, they did it
on the floor, they did it just about everywhere.
The bride woke up the next morning and found her new hubby was gone and
all that was left was a note that read:
Sweetheart, I love you very much. I feel terrible about what has
happened. I can't go on after this, and I know now that we can never
have a life together.
Goodbye darling.
P.S. Your pussy is in the refrigerator.
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Tax Chips
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A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that
her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not
sure that it was such a good idea. The doctor asked, "Do you enjoy
it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said
that it didn't. The doctor then told her, "Well, then, there is no
reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that is what you
like, as long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was
mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The
doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think I. R.S. agents come
from?"
A guy walks into a bar and says, "All I. R.S. agents are assholes!"
A big, tall, burly man who was sitting at the bar, gets up and says,
"I took offense to what you just said." "Why?" the first guy says.
"Are you an I. R.S. agent?" "No," replies the tall guy, "I am an
asshole."
A young hotshot gets a job with the I. R.S. His first assignment is
to audit an old rabbi. He thinks he'll have a little fun with the
old rabbi, so he says, "Rabbi, what do you do with the drippings
from the candles?" The rabbi says, "We send them to the candle
factory, and every once in a while they send us a free candle." The
kid says, "And what do you do with the crumbs from your table?" The
rabbi says, "We send them to the matzoh ball factory, and every once
in a while they send us a free box of matzoh balls." The kid says,
"And what do you do with the foreskins from your circumcisions?" The
rabbi says, "We send them to the I. R.S., and every once in a while
they send us a little prick like you."
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly
started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised,
the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what are you doing?"
"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I could see
that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just
can't help practicing my art!" "That's the stupidest thing I've ever
heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the I. R.S. Do you see me
screwing the guy in front of me?"
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Preacher Chips
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A man is driving along the interstate out of Maine. He's got two
hours to get to an important business conference in New Hampshire.
All of a sudden, he's really hungry. He pulls over to the nearest
fast food joint he sees. He orders a huge meal from the
drive-through, and continues on his way. After a little while,
nature calls. The man, not wanting to "go" in the forest, looks
around desperately for a building with a bathroom. He's really got
to take a crap. Suddenly, he sees this small, run-down old church.
He thinks "Great, they'll have a bathroom."
He pulls over, and runs into the lobby. It's deserted, and he can't
see a bathroom anywhere. He runs into the sanctuary. He sees a
praying woman.
"Where's the bathroom?" He asks.
"Shh! Down the hall, third right." So the man runs down the hall. In
his pain, however, he takes the third left, instead. He rips the
door open. It's a hole in the wall! He thinks, Oh well, it's better
than nothing.
In the basement below, a preacher is praying at his private alter.
"What will god give us today?" The preacher holds up his hand,
reaching up to heaven through his heaven-hole in the wall.
PLOP!!
"Oh. Well, if that's how he's feeling today, well, so be it. What
will god say to us today?" He stretches his ear up to heaven.
"Damn it, where's the toilet paper?"
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A New Dawn
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Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck
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Magician Act Followed By Explanation
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Malcom-Jue-Bebe
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Marine And Geese
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Mary Did You Know
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Math 911
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gay Man's Motto:
"My body is a temple ... With ample parking in the rear."
Q:What did the angry toilet say to the other toilet?
A:I'm pissed!
Q:What did the tired toilet say back?
A:Well, i'm pooped!
Q. Why is sex with your wife like eating at McDonald's?
A. It's always the same thing and afterwards, you swear you'll never
do it again.
Q. How long does it take to fill the red sea?
A. A very long period.
Definition Of The Perfect Husband:
A guy who makes his wife's panties wet...
He does the laundry every week.
Q. What do you call female Viagra?
A. Jewelry
If I were a dairy cow, I don't know
which I'd prefer -- the leisurely life
of nonstop grazing or the daily sessions
with a machine massaging my TiTs.
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're
in."
Be sure your words are short and sweet.
You never know which you will have to eat.
I am involved in a big dispute with the IRS. I say my car should be
100% deductible, the IRS says 50%. I use the front seat for business
and the back seat for entertainment.
Don't let your affection give you an infection.
Put some protection on that erection.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
What's the definition of a computer nerd?
A man who knows 4,560 ways to have sex, but doesn't know any girls.
Re-create the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own
home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of
bleach, and then urinating into it, before jumping in.
You can pick your friends and
you can pick your nose . . .
But you can't wipe your
friends on the couch.
A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location
in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed
through a guardrail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over,
and burst into flames. There were no injuries.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the only man in America whose
bologna really did have a first name? <ROFLMAO>
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Toon Chips
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Almost done
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Men And Women
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New Medal
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American
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart "God Save the Queen,"
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute,
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.
This sparkling young farter from Sparta,
His fart for no money would barter.
He could roar from his rear
Any scene from Shakespeare,
Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.
Nobody could play the classics finer,
As he showed me one day in the diner.
I had a bagel with lox
while he played from his buttocks:
Chopin's Etude #12 in C-minor.
He'd fart a gavotte for a starter,
And fizzle a fine serenata.
He could play on his anus
The Coriolanus:
Oof, boom,er-tum,tootle, yum tah-dah!
He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata.
Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious German named Bager,
He'd proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of a Haydn Octet in B-major.
His reportoire ranged from classics to jazz,
He achieved new effects with bubbles of gas.
With a good dose of salts
He could whistle a waltz
Or swing it in razzamatazz.
His basso profundo with timbre so rare
He rendered quite often, with power to spare.
But his great work of art,
His fortissimo fart,
He saved for the Marche Militaire.
One day he was dared to perform
The William Tell Overture Storm,
But naught could dishearten
Our spirited Spartan,
For his fart was in wonderful form.
It went off in capital style,
And he farted it through with a smile,
Then, feeling quite jolly,
He tried the finale,
Blowing double-stopped farts all the while.
The selection was tough, I admit,
But it did not dismay him one bit,
Then, with his ass thrown aloft
He suddenly coughed...
And collapsed in a shower of shit.
His bunghole was blown back to Sparta,
Where they buried the rest of our farter,
With a gravestone of turds
Inscribed with the words:
"To the Fine Art of Farting, A Martyr."
There was a young lady whose joys
Were achieved with incomparable poise.
She could have an orgasm
With never a spasm---
She could fart without making a noise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A buddy called me and told me that his daughter is getting married.
I asked him to whom and he said, "I dunno. He's some kinda doctor."
"That's all you know that your daughter's getting married to 'some
kinda doctor'?" "Yeah, what?" he said wondering if he should know
more. "Well personally I'd want to know what kind of quack my
daughter was marrying," I said. "I mean, what if he's a
gynecologist? Those guys are freaky. Can you imagine what kind of
guy you'd have to be to spend your days sitting on a short kiddy
stool between chick's legs, staring at their clams...?" "Hey man!"
he shouted. "Shut the hell up. That's my daughter you're talking
about!" "Relax. I wasn't talking about your daughter. All women
spread them and say 'aahh'. Even your wife." "Hey man!" "Relax,
buddy. Look on the bright side, he's probably checked her out, and
you can bet he wouldn't marry her unless she had a good one...I mean
she was healthy."
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2033
Garage Sale pt 3
Stranger: How much for the stuffed animal?
Rudy: Hey, I am not for sale.
Stranger: Sorry, didn't see you move, thought you
were a stuffed animal.
Sandi: Well he is stuffed most of the time.
Katie: Hey mister want to buy some Banjo CD's?
Made by the famous KSR band.
Stranger: Never heard of them.
Katie: They are ranked number 1 by the bluegrass
station on WKSR.
Stranger: Okay, I will get one for 5 bucks.
Katie: Thank you sir.
Sandi: I sell relaxation therapy CD's.
Val: I sell exercise DVD's. Exercise With Val.
Rudy: I sell home protection kits. Doorbells that have my
recording. Listen. BARK BARK BARK!!!!
Stranger: I will get one.
To be continued
BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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