Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I guess with 5,000 people onboard a carrier that has a 40 year
life span involving at least several wars and a few police actions,
there are bound to be a variety of sea stories. One of the first I
ever heard was that the Constellation was actually the Kitty Hawk
and vice versa. Story was that a fire onboard the Kitty Hawk
had so seriously damaged her that she wasn't ready for commissioning
till six months after the constellation so they had switched hull
numbers
allowing everything to stay in numerical order. The main thing that
made it believable was that everyone from the Captain down to
seamen that had reported aboard a month before knew the story
and claimed it was true and it was even given to the papers when
she was decommissioned. There were other things that were
around that seemed to support the theory like hatch covers that had
CVA-63 in the drawing numbers and manuals that were marked USS
Kitty Hawk. We also had manuals for the condensate pumps on
the generators that were marked BB-61 and we sure weren't the
USS Missouri and I can see using some extra hatch covers that
were leftover to save a few bucks seeing they are just a flat piece
of 1/4 inch plate with a standard bolt pattern.
The Navy's stand on the event is
The construction of the carrier was nearly 90% completed and in the
hangar bay there was a tank with 502 gallons of fuel inside. A forklift
collided with that tank and the fuel ran out and flew into a lower deck
where some workers were welding. A fire started and the flames quickly
grew up because of all the wooden materials stored in the hangar bay and
on the flight deck. Moments later a huge flame and a dark cloud of smoke
could be seen above the carrier.
An example for the density of the smoke was that a standard breathing
apparatus can be used for approx. 45 minutes, but aboard the
CONSTELLATION they could only be used for 20 minutes. Almost the whole
hangar bay was burning. The efforts to extinguish the fire using the
existing fire-fighting equipment were not successful and so the Brooklyn
fire department was called for assistance.
The fire was mainly extinguished with water and 15.000 tons of this
water got into the carrier.
At the time of the accident, a total of 4200 people worked aboard the
carrier and so the fire department had not only to extinguish the fire
but also to rescue the people.
All in all it took twelve hours to extinguish the fire. 50 people were
killed and hundreds were injured and the ship was heavily damaged.
The carrier was scheduled to be commissioned in early 1961 but because
of the fire and the resulting damage, the commissioning ceremony had to
be postponed to October 27, 1961.
By the way, during one year in the Naval Shipyard, there were 42 fires
aboard USS CONSTELLATION.
If you look at the dates that the hull was laid and the ship was
launched it does make the story of
name switching almost believable but in my mind it never happened.
The kitty Hawk was the first ship her size that was built and launched
from a dry dock
as it was worried with her weight that she would go across the harbor
and strike New Jersey
if she had been launched using ways..
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A few newsletters you may enjoy
The Asylm
Chaos in Uniform
The name says it all!! Witty stories about the navy, marines, army and
more..
Brought to you each Thursday, by Freddy.
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And
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Perv Chips
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Poem for Pervs
Dildoes and corsets and Chainmail Bikinis
Black Leather cages you lock on your weenies
Fetish and fashion and pierced nipple rings
These are a few of my favorite things ...
When the lash bites
When the crop stings
When it hits the Spot
I simply remember my favorite things
And it makes me feel ... so hot!!
Wrist cuffs and collars and straps of black leather
Chrome chains and Padlocks to hold them together
Tease whips and gags sort the girls from the boys
These are a few of my favorite toys ...
Nip Clips and Clit clips and Ball gags and Blindfolds
Dildoes and butt plugs to stop up your assholes
Enema pipes and some new "KY" gel
All delivered in brown paper, so the neighbors can't tell ...
Bottle green panties like the girls wore in school
A brief French maids outfit to make your mouth drool
Black halter tops and a PVC skirt
And a long leather whip ... Oh yes, that will hurt!!
Floggers and paddles and crops of black leather
Rubber and latex are fun in all weather
Canes of rattan that deliver a sting
All these and more are my favorite things!!!
When the lash bites
When the crop stings
When it hits the Spot
I simply remember my favorite things
And it makes me feel ... so hot!!
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Cat Chips
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One day a sailor decided to visit several bars because he felt like
getting drunk. He started into to one of the bars (he was already
on his way to being drunk) when a mouse crossed his path.
He picked up the mouse and stuffing it in his pocket said,
"you're going to be my drinking partner." He sat down at the bar
and ordered 2 beers, drinking one and pouring the other one into
his pocket. He then asked the bartender for two more beers and did
the same thing under the watchful eye of the bartender.
Once again he ordered 2 more beers but almost fell off the stool
he was on. The bartender seeing this told the sailor that he was
too drunk to have any more and ordered him to leave the bar.
The sailor then grabbed the bartender by the shirtcoller and
shouted,
if you do not give me 2 more beers I am going to knock you all over
this bar, just then the mouse popped his head out of the sailors
pocket and shouted, THAT GOES FOR YOUR DAMN CAT TOO!
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Answer Chips
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Well, we've all been there - both the guys and the gals, and today
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1. If you ask a girl to have sex with her and she says "definitely
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she really means "NO."
2. If she says "NO," then you have to do better, and then maybe,
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4. If she says "YES", she's probably not worth it.
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Chest Chips
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A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set
out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an
upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie,
"Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store
and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in
much the same manner. After a third try at another department store
in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove
to K-Mart.
Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her
blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?"
The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried
Clearasil?"
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Irish Chips
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How can one *not* love Irish men after so much honesty?
From a 'personals' section from a Dublin newspaper:
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Club and has been known to starting fights on Patrick Street at
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Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long
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still
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Ginger haired Galway man, a born troublemaker, gets
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wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp
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Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks
alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20-year-old
double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery,
and has an open-minded twin sister.
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Melva/Daughter
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Grandma Smiles ~ Mariane Holbrook ~ Living Each Day Via Samantha
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John w/ The Lighter Side of Growing Up On the Internet
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Movie Links
Olympic 1
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Olympic 2
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Are You Going To Finish Strong
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Arkansas Wedding
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Baby Girl On Jay Leno Show
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Period Chips
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THE TOP 15 EUPHEMISMS FOR "GETTING YOUR PERIOD"
15. Miss Scarlett's Come Home to Tara
14. Trolling for Vampires
13. A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy
12. Saddling Old Rusty
11. Feelin' Menstru-riffic!
10. Clean-Up in Aisle One
9. Massacre at the Y
8. T-Minus 9 Months and Holding
7. Game Day for the Crimson Tide
6. Panty Shields Up, Captain!
5. Taking Carrie to the Prom
4. Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band
3. Ordering l'Omelette Rouge
2. Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp
1. Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System
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Toon Chips
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One More
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One And Only
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I Can Do You One Better
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1 Piece bikini
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2 Cokes
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Double Asscrack
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a lady from Ryde
Who ate some green apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her insides.
________________________________
-
There was a young lady from Thrace,
Whose corsets grew too tight to lace.
Her mother said, "Nelly,
There's more in your belly,
Than ever went in through your face!"
_________________________________
-
A fussy old widow named Pease
Thought her home was infested with fleas;
So she used gasoline,
And her form was last seen
Sailing over the tops of the trees.
-<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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Wanting to find out if both his wife and his
mistress were being faithful to him, Gary decided
to send them on the same cruise and question each
one later about the other's behavior.
When his wife returned, he asked her about people
on the trip, casually inquiring about the
passenger who was his mistress when she mentioned
the woman. "Oh, that woman slept with nearly
every man on the ship!" his wife reported.
Unhappy with this information, Gary planned a
rendezvous with his cheating mistress and decided
to question her about the trip before confronting
her with what he knew.
Once again, he carefully inquired about the woman
who was his wife after ascertaining that they had
met. "She was a real lady," his mistress said.
Gary's spirits picked up. "Why do you say that?" he asked.
"She came on board with her husband and never left his side."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2038
Test Test and Retest
Katie and BJ are testing her new production when.....
BJ: I think I found a flaw with this product.
Katie: Oh no, it has been going so well.
BJ: Watch this.
BJ applies the product to a towel then water, then
holds the towel to the window to allow the sun to
hit the towel... The towel smokes and then evaporates.
Katie: Uh-oh!
BJ: We need to call Tami before she wears the dress.
At the outdoor ball.....
Rob: Tami, you look quite lovely tonight.
Tami: Thank you Rob.
Rob: Tami, I do not know how to tell you this but
your dress is dissovling.
Tami: ACK!!!!
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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