THE POSTMAN'S CORNER GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS Greetings and salutations from the postman here in postmanland!! It is a bone chilling 38 degrees!! I have to tell you, I am prolley personally responsible for such disastrously cold temps. Just two days ago, it was 82 and I put the window airconditioners in! It has been cold and nasty ever since! So, it is Monday. are you ready? well it always is easier to face a Monday when it is fortified with some Postman humor! so... We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman ________________ THE COMICS stool sample http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k026.html plastic surgery http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k027.html under new management http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k028.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES little bastards http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1059.html POWER POINT DISPLAY A teacher on playground duty noticed a scruffy little boy sitting in the dirt and intently working on something. As she approached, she saw that he was using a twig to stir something in an old soup can. "What have you got in the can, Johnny?" she asked brightly. He looked up at her with evil little eyes and said, "Got me some chicken-shit n' water." After she had recovered from her shock, she stammered, "What in the world are you doing?" "Makin' me a teacher!" "Oooh!" she howled. "The principal shall hear of this!" and she stomped off to find him. When she returned with the principal in tow, the boy was still hard at work, stirring away, frowning in concentration. "All right, Johnny! Now, you tell me, what have you got in that can there?" said the principal. "I got me some chicken-shit an' water," said Johnny, grinning crookedly at the man and continuing to stir. The principal recoiled in horror. "What do you think you're doing?" he bellowed. "Ize makin' me a principal," Johnny replied, leering up at him. "Well, my young friend, we'll just see about that," the principal said, and stormed off to find a cop. When at last he returned with a policeman, Johnny was still industriously working on his project. "All right, me lad, what've ye got in the can?" the cop asked. Johnny replied, "Got me some chicken shit n' water!" The cop frowned and said, "Ah, and I suppose you'll be tellin' me you're makin' a cop, now won't ye?" Johnny frowned down into the can, critically examining its contents. "Nope. Ain't got enough chicken-shit." ___________ - There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's. - The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. - I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here. - I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?' - I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. - A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: 'Buy one dog, get one flea.' - Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with. - I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. - If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the 'terminal'? - I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. - The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. ____________ The other day, I was accosted by a hooker. She asked, "How 'bout some relaxing oral sex, honey? Only $50." "No way!" I responded. "I'm married!!!" "So??? What difference does that make?" asked the hooker. So I told her, "The difference is....my wife will do it for a $35 dinner." ____________ BUFFALO BILL Home Paternity Test http://www.buffaloschips.com/aiou.htm Homemade Water Slide http://www.buffaloschips.com/azxdc.htm Homer Koehn http://www.buffaloschips.com/avcf.htm THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM Martin aka the postman |
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