THE POSTMAN'S CORNER I have often repented speaking, but never of holding my tongue. Xenocrates GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!! I went down to the "old Monroe mall" the other day. This was an old street that was converted to a pedestrian mall back in the 70s when such things were popular.The city fathers claimed it would be great in order to generate new businesses in a neighborhood that was suffering. It didn't do a lot to generate new business. But I enjoyed it tho, because there were about a dozen street vendors who set up to sell hotdogs, popcorn and any number of neat things to passersby at lunch time on the sidewalk. But the lunch crowd, man, that was cool, the best part. secretaries would come out for lunch, college girls walked around in their halter tops. A guy would be looking to his left and right so much at the sights that he would have to go see his chiropractor for a stiff neck afterwards. I spent many a happy lunch hour back then, simply taking in the sights and a greasy chilli dog, elephant ears, or etc. Unfortunately, aside from a few street vendors selling sandwiches and snacks, the mall did little to attract new business There were 8 empty buildings when the mall was built in the 70s. In the late 80s there were 12 or more. Then the merchants were complaing that there was no easy access and so the city fathers determined that it would be better to convert it back to a street. And the lazy days of summer on the mall were but a memory. Now, after visiting the other day, I find there are only 2 or 3 merchants left. The street vendors are gone, as well as the lunch time crowd and the good looking secretaries. There was nothing left but a dismal, trash strewn street with bums asking for smokes and change. The mall cost between 2 and 3 million dollars in the 70s to build it cost nearly 15 million to convert back to a street. Go figger. We do hope you enjoy today's issue Cordially Martin aka the postman __________  THE COMICS complimentary http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k022.html convenience http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k023.html ____________  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Jo in Florida POWER POINT DISPLAY up up and away http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd692.html A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!" _____________ The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher. Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Jenny," said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, 'Hey, this tastes like dog crap!' Then I would say, 'It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?' I used the President Dubya's method of giving you something shitty, but looks good for free, and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth." The teacher was speechless. ____________ Top Ten Country & Western Songs. 10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine 9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few 8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me 7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin' 6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win 5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here 4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him 3.. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger 2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer And the Number One Country & Western song is... 1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day Long __________ BUFFALO BILL Mrs Hughes Friends THAT'S ALL FOLKS HAve a nice day FROM Martin aka the postman |
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