we cannot choose our external circumstances
but we can always choose how we respond to them
Epictetus
welcome to
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
Getting angry with somebody? Think before you talk.
If the person is junior to you … count to 10 and then talk.
If the person is equal to you … count to 30 and then talk.
If the person is your senior … count to 50, then talk.
If the person is your wife … keep counting … don't talk.
___________________
MEMES N TOONS
what we found
fifty percent off
parrot died
time to go home
don't always bark
women illness
the deer hunter
this spot reserved
in the hospital
drowning
having a bad day
where have you been
bad careless business management
auto correct
is it just me
Purina Dog Chow
Yesterday I was at my local WALMART buying a large bag of Purina
Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog. I was in the check-out
line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no,
I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I
probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that
I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it
works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned
me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.
___________________
JOKES
went to her gynochologist
you were a good woman on earth
the coyote
why are chickens so ugly
action on the front line
being late for work
really really drunk
sexual demands
what is your occupation
handle it this way
error message
very unusual hospital
a Chinese father who was close to his son
forgive me father for I have sinned
a nun was going to Chicago
_____________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
a great discovery
when to stop arguing
at times I am grateful
blackened chicken
keep the light on
changing station
the grave side service
how to vent
hope you are happy
guts and balls
spare tire
the funeral
not fat
anal sex
vegetarians
__________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Funny Jokes - I Just Wish They Were Bigger
One day a hungry beggar went to the house of a rich man
What If A Mega-Tsunami Hit The United States?
Carmen Calls - Pregnant Father
The Unique Wildlife of The Scottish Highlands | Short Film Showcase
Norwegian Police Funniest Arrest Ever
Al Bundy philosophy about beer
Dolphins Play Catch with a Pufferfish! | Spy In The Wild | BBC Earth
What If a Coin-Sized Black Hole Appeared on Earth?
CLASSIC POPEYE - Battery Up and MORE
watch out for the pole
my goldfish
suck it up
eeffoc
good at math
________________
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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