the true profession of man is finding his
way to himself. Herman Hess
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
If there was a point of contention in our marriage it has always
been the holistic approach to health. You know, vitamins, etc? So
the war dept. being "Gluten free" has always attempted to
steer me to such "good choices" So, now I have added my
vitamin d and I am already doing the fish oil thing. And
lately I have had a really nervous stomach. So I tried eating
her gluten free bread. Know what? my stomach issues have
all but disappeared!! My gosh, does this mean I have to
admit that the war department was right all along????
I sat down to dinner last night? sweet potatoes and
spinach!!! EGADS!!! But guys, here is a tip, if a woman
cooks for you, never complain about what she puts on
the plate. The alternative is to cook it yourself!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
MEMES N TOONS
the answer is no
do you ever look at stuff and wonder
a bathing cap?
be afraid
thru with begging
the weather
I thought you said
band width
October
you went too far
goes into the store to buy condoms
not the way you do it
innocent
be brave
beauty
I put bubble-wrap under the mattress during sex.
It sounds like fireworks and makes for a more festive mood.
On a lonely, moonlit country road a young man's car
engine started to cough. Immediately pulling over to
a scenic little spot he said to the young lady next to him,
"That's funny, I wonder what that knocking noise was?"
"I'll tell you one thing for sure," said the girl coolly,
"It wasn't opportunity."
An elderly couple are sitting around one evening and
the man says to his wife,
"Marsha, we are about to celebrate our 60th wedding
anniversary. We've had a wonderful life
together, full of contentment and blessings. But there's
something I've always wondered about.
Tell me the truth. Have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
She hesitates a moment, then says, "Yes, three times, Sidney."
"Three times? How could that happen?" Sidney asks.
The wife begins recalling slowly,
"Well, do you remember right after we were married
and we were so broke, and the bank was going to
foreclose on our little house?"
"Yes, dear, that was really a terrible time" replies the man.
Marsha continued, "And remember when I went to see the
banker one night and the next day the bank extended our loan?"
"That's hard to take" the man says, "but I guess it really was
for us, so I can forgive you. What was the second time?"
"Well," she continued, "do you remember years later
when you almost died from the heart problem
because we couldn't afford the operation?"
"Yes, of course" the man replies.
"Then you will remember that right after I went to see
the doctor, he did your operation at no cost?" she explained.
"That's true" Sidney nodded. "That shocks me, Marsha,
but I do understand that you did it out of love
for me, and I forgive you. So, what was the third time?"
?Marsha lowers her head and says, "Sidney, do you remember
when you ran for Country Club President and you needed 62 more votes.
_________________
An American is having breakfast one morning
(coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam)
when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless,
starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't.
In France, we only eat what's inside.
The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
transform them into croissants and sell them to the states."
The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The American listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread?"
American: "Of Course."
Frenchman: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast,
then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers,
recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."
The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them,
melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to France."
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? A: So you don't poke your eye out.
______________
JOKES
he had to attend a meeting
on the eve of a big offensive
computer programming jobs
your son
on a pilgrimage to a healing spring
God created earth
Did anyone tell you what to say in court
retired
An old man goes to a diner every day for lunch
sister had been ill
a Michigan fan
How much do you weigh
discussing marriage
the journey of a thousand miles
educational grants
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she
earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria,
they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied,
"See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.
"My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans,"
said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It's okay. He woke up.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,'
which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
_______________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Simple Acts of Kindness - Give it a try
NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS COMPILATION
Biggest Unexpected waves Caught On Camera
Laurel &Hardy Delivering the piano.
RC Spruce Goose
OLD MAN TELLS FUNNIEST JOKE EVER!
Alarm clock and getting up | Mr Bean Official
Best Stand up comedy sketch ever!
____________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
at the supermarket
right or wrong
instead of
follow the directions
your boss
I was normal
quiet
when I am bored
why are you talking
all you need
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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