Experience is the sinking feeling that you have made this
mistake before.
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________________
MEMES N TOONS
what would you do for a Klondike bar
pole dancing
a wise woman once said
a good day
my neighbor
that lying bitch
being a man
when you are not sure
rare mage of a shark
area 51
step up your game
my dream job
fried chicken
an anti depressant pill
a spare
______________
JOKES
the toughest time of my life
several elderly nuns
she brought her report card home
a fifth of whiskey
the best marksmen
change a light bulb
what can I get for five hundred dollars a night
a telephone rings in an apartment
who's up for a 3 some
a necklace cell phone for women
elderly couple went to the clinic to be tested
John had a bad day at the golf course
you have been telling ppl that I am ugly
why she dressed her children alike
why are all those marks on the table
In a small town in the south of Ireland, there were two churches, as
there always are in small towns in the south of Ireland, a small, modest
Protestant church and a large, fancy Catholic church.On a certain Saturday,
the Catholic priest came down with the flu and he called and asked the
Protestant pastor to substitute for him at Mass on the following Sunday.
The pastor told the priest that he would like to help, but he knew nothing
of the Catholic faith or the rituals of the Mass. The Priest responded that
there were several alter boys and priests in training who would help him
through the rough spots, but he really needed the pastor, because a
rousing sermon was the thing his congregation needed the most. Somewhat
reluctantly, the pastor agreed.The priest then asked him to do the
confession after the Mass. At this, the pastor drew the line and said
that confession was the one thing he would not do, first, because it was in
conflict with his own faith and, second, he was certain that he could
not keep all of the various penances straight. The priest responded
that he too sometimes had difficulty remembering all of the various
punishments, but he had written them all down in a small book, which
he had hidden under the seat. If a person said: "Forgive me Father,
I have sinned. I have done "this", "that" and "the other thing", he
simply had to look them up and give the person his or her punishment.
Still feeling somewhat uneasy about it, the pastor finally agreed. On
the next day, the mass went surprisingly well. The helpers helped him
at all of the right times and the congregation responded to his sermon
very well. He had chosen "The 10 Commandments" because it always
goes over well. With slightly sweating palms, he finished the Mass and
slowly made his way into the confessional booth.The first person, a young
woman, said: "Forgive me Father, I have sinned. I have done "A", "B"
and "C"" and, sure enough, he found all of the sins and their individual
punishments clearly written out in the priest's neat handwriting. It went
the same way for each and every person that followed and he found that
he rather enjoyed listening in to all of these people's private lives. Up
to the last person, that is.An older man came into the booth, sat down
and began: "Forgive me Father, I have sinned. I know that I should not
have done it but I have had anal intercourse once again." The pastor
looked up "anal intercourse" in the book. It wasn't there! He fervently
tried "sodomy", "butt fucking", "rectal sex" and everything else he could
think of but none of them were in the book! He excused himself and ran
into the priest's small office and called him on the telephone.When the
priest answered, he said: "Quick, tell me, what do you give for "anal sex"
The priest thought about it and responded, slowly: "Well, it all depends.
Sometimes a candy bar. Sometimes an ice cream come. But usually not money."
_____________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Best Of Stealing Pranks | Just For Laughs Compilation
China Street Life Shanghai
The Structures That Defy Gravity
Gracie the Two-Legged Dog Gets a Wheelchair Made of LEGOs
THE ULTIMATE LIGHTNING STORM - In Slow Motion
Coast Guard Rescues Sinking Yacht
How Volcanoes Froze the Earth (Twice)
What Old People Do For Fun
UNCUT funny dancing falling silo
1 US Pilot Dogfights 7 MiGs - Korea 1952
AFV | Season 5 - Episode 2
Owen Campbell - Angry Busker - Australia's Got Talent 2012
Tim Hawkins on Eating Paradox
Two Blind Sisters See for the First Time | Short Film Showcase
Genius Dad Ends His Daughters' Tantrums
____________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
a cat for Christmas
what I need
be who you were
my life for no reason
500 dollars for an A
come over
after 65 years
to frown
Barbie
the aging app
after 15 minutes
milk sheep
redneck door bell
Socialism monopoly
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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