The Postman's Corner
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor.
In order to preserve your self-respect,
it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.
Robert Byrne
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It was getting a tad bit late Saturday night,
and "the war department" was rattling around the house,
basically doing silly stuff. Typically, she waits till five minutes
after bedtime to realize that she forgot to water the plants, and
other silly stuff. Amazing all the things that woman finds to do before she
has to turn in for the night. Me, well, its "goodnight." drop the
pants, and under the covers. That's it. Well, anyways. She's wandering around
the house and finally comes into my man cave, and starts to fiddle with
my clock. Yeah, ok, we are "old school" here and we still have clocks
around the house. Says I...
"What are you doing?"
"Daylight savings time starts tomorrow."
"Yah? so?"
"I'm adjusting all the clocks.
Almost done, just gotta do yours."
"Why?"
"So you know when its time to get up."
"Why do I need to know that?"
"Well, you do not want to be late for anything."
"I don't need to know the time...you will tell
me when I gotta be somewhere."
(She has been telling me when and where to go now
for over 30 years.)
I am getting to be more and more like the x and y
generation all the time. Just that I don't need a
clock these days for different reasons:)
I hope you remembered to fix your clocks!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
friends forever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a211.html
it pays to know someone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a212.html
hey dad?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a213.html
mom?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a214.html
temptation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a215.html
here's your sign
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a216.html
chances
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a217.html
lies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a218.html
next time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a219.html
real men
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a220.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Street artist playing Hallelujah with crystal glasses
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a3001.html
Winter Car Crash Compilation 2013 #1
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a3000.html
10 Minute Ultimate Girls Fail Compilation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a3002.html
a library
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a3003.html
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only
a pet dog for company.One day the dog died, and Muldoon
went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, me dog is dead.
Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services
for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the
lane, an there's no tellin' what they believe. maybe they'll
do something for the creature." Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father.
Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?"
Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't
ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
_____________
My friends, here is a sports question.
A Green Bay Packer question....
Last year.... after the Packers / Bills game, Buffalo released quarterback
Trent Edwards.
During the Packers / Eagles game, the Packers injured Philadelphia
quarterback Kevin Kolb. Philadelphia then had to play backup quarterback
Michael Vick.
During a playoff game against the Eagles, the Packers injured Michael
Vick and another backup was needed.
After the Packers / Cowboys game, Dallas fired Wade Phillips and most of his
staff.
After the Packers / Vikings game, Minnesota fired Brad Childress and
most of his staff.
Four weeks after losing to the Packers, the 49er's coach Mike Singletary
and most of his staff were fired and replaced.
During the Bears Playoff game, the Packers injured Jay Cutler and backup
Todd Collins forcing the Bears to go with 3rd string quarterback Caleb
Hanie. So here's the question ....
Is it just me, or did the Packers create more jobs last year than Obama?
___________
The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first woman
president who happens to be from Kentucky. A few days after the election the
president-elect, whose name is Debra, calls her father and says, "So, Dad, I
assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a 10 hour drive."
"Don 't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One. And a limousine will
pick you up at your door."
"I don't know Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?"
"Oh Dad," replies Debra, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown
custom-made by the best designer in Washington ."
"Honey," Dad complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you eat."
The President-to-be responds, " Don 't worry Dad. The entire affair will be
handled by the best caterer in Washington ; I'll ensure your meals are salt
free. You and mom just have to be there."
So Dad reluctantly agrees, and on January 20, 2017, Debra is being sworn in
as President of the United States . In the front row sits the new
president's dad and mom.
Dad, noticing the senator sitting next to him, leans over and whispers, "You
see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of
the United States ." The Senator whispers back, "You bet I do."
Dad says proudly, "Her brother played basketball for Kentucky"
_____________
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting
"pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and
I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
___________
FUN PAGES
Prank Eye Exam
http://tinyurl.com/bhwsya4
Balls of Fun
http://tinyurl.com/bf4pv6f
Barbie Plus Mrs. Potato Head
http://tinyurl.com/aqsscs3
Luigis Revenge Hacked
http://tinyurl.com/ae7ygup
Funniest Couple Ever
http://tinyurl.com/advomjg
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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