Plants gone potty!: July 2012

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when
Everybody stands around reloading".
Thomas Jefferson

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

She left a note on the fridge:
"It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay at my Mother's."
So, I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold. I
have no idea what in the hell she was talking about............
the fridge works fine.
Women, who can understand them?

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________

THE COMICS

abortion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s011.html

PMA
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s012.html

what will it do
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s013.html

fish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s014.html

granny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s015.html

sale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s016.html

supersize
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s017.html

I love you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s018.html

sex urge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s019.html

a bomb
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s020.html
_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

All stand please for the MINI horn section
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1893.html

James Gregory: Hay Bailer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1894.html

the typewriter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1895.html

Clydesdale Budweiser Commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1896.html

I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law
Last night when I asked if I could borrow
A newspaper.
'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPod.'
I can tell you, that friggin fly never knew
What hit it...........
_____________

Dear Sir:
The results from the laboratory confirm that the red
ring around your penis was not cancerous. It was lipstick.
We apologize for the amputation.
Regards,
Dick Less, MD, F.R.C.s.
______________

Vicki was still feeling a bit weak and not up to par
after her recent bout with the flu and went to see her
doctor. After a quick examination, hesaid, "You look weak
and exhausted! What have you been doing? Are you getting
out in the fresh air, getting enough exercise, and having
your meals 3 times a day, as I advised on your last visit?"
Vicki looked up, a bit surprised and exclaimed, "Oh doc,
I've sure been getting the first two, but on that last one,
I woulda swore you said three males a day!"
______________

A blonde woman was on the way to winning $1,000,000 on a game show,
but her final question was left for the next night.
Her husband snuck into the studio and found the question and answer.
He raced home and told his wife "Your question is, 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy',
and the answer is, 'The head, heart and penis.'"
The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answer.
Her husband keeps reminding her, "The head, heart and penis."
Come the game show, she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks,
"For $1,000,000, what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds."
"Um... the head."
"Good. Eight seconds."
"Um... the heart."
"That's right. Five seconds."
"Oh... um... damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I
had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..."
"That's close enough! You've won $1,000,000!"
_____________

FUN PAGES

Paper Airplane Flight Simulator
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42158&s=n

The Woman He Feels
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43063&s=n

Paparazzi
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41768&s=n

How to Fly the Thay Hunter
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42412&s=n

The Memory Test
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42054&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Failure is unimportant.
It takes courage to make a fool of yourself
– Charlie Chaplin

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Did you hear?
American Lindsey Vonn has had to forfeit her
Gold Medal on Friday, June 15, 2012.
The International Olympic Committee announced today that it has
taken back the gold medal previously awarded to American skier
Lindsey Vonn and given it to U.S. President Barack Obama.
Olympic officials said Obama deserved the medal more than Vonn
because no one has ever gone downhill faster than he has.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

______________

THE COMICS

golly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s001.html

make a wish
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s002.html

determination
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s003.html

paper into bowl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s004.html

breaking news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s005.html

if you want
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s006.html

what I like
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s007.html

good enuff
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s008.html

business with pleasure
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s009.html

you will do
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s010.html
_________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

MARK TWAIN PRIZE | Modern Man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1892.html

WBFF: Free Phone Frenzy - abuse of the federal Lifeline program
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1891.html

"I'm Pregnant" Prank Calls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1890.html

Energy Drink Funny Sexy Commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1889.html

A woman phones her blonde neighbor and says, "Close your
curtains the next time you and your husband are having sex.
The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blonde replies, "Well the joke's on all of you
because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
___________

A guy and a girl meet at a bar
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
Description: cid:EBE8B810BE0349DCB843AFB77332F16A@DavidPC
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.
The girl has been watching him and says:
"You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says:
"Yes .... How did you figure that out?"
"Easy.." she replies, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing leads to another and they make love.
After it's over the girl says: "You must be a good dentist."
Description: cid:2D7AE96F8D7245E6B063F16E0E2C9DF7@DavidPC
The guy, now with an inflated ego, says:
"Sure - I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"
The girl replies:....
"Didn't feel a thing"
_______________

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats
to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
--David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle
of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
--Jimmy Fallon

FUN PAGES

Friends Body and Soul
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43066&s=n

Youda Fairy
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41816&s=n

The Personality Test
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=37781&s=n

Thing Thing 4 Hacked
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42962&s=n

How to Fly the Nakamura
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42414&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

FREE FEBREZE AIR FRESHENER
http://www.tinyurl.com/blacaf2

Avoid dishonest gain:
no price can recompence the pangs of vice.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Sometimes when you get old,
you have to learn a new way to
do old things...

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________

THE COMICS

four good reasons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r061.html

don't be upset
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r062.html

complaints
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r063.html

a headache
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r064.html

lonely trucker
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r065.html

lucky seat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r066.html

anger management
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r067.html

romance is over
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r068.html

new
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r069.html

playing ostriche
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r070.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

no "N"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1886.html

working girl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1887.html

wake up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1888.html

_______________

I had 18 bottles of whisky in the cellar, and my wife told me to get
Rid of them or else!
She told me to open every bottle and empty the
Contents down the sink and so that is the unfortunate task I am now doing.
I drew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents
Down the sink, except for one glass which I drank.
Then likewise with
The second bottle, down the sink except for one glass, which I drank.
I withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whisky down
The sink, which I then drank, then pulled the cork from the fourth
Bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one
Sink out of it then threw the rest up the glass.
Then I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle,
corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour.
Now I have everything emptied, I sink.
I steadied the house with one hand and counted the glasses, corks, bottles and sinks with the other.
It came to 79 or maybe 65.
Next time the house came by, I counted them again and finally had all the
Houses in one bottle, which I drank. I am not half as thunk as you
Might drink now, but I fool so feelish I don't know which is me, and
The drunker I stand here, the longer I get...
_______________

From A Man's Point of View

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big
dick or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly..

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
________________

Lynda, a rich blonde,
buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night,
the car just won't move at all.
After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck),
she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a technician to her.
The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it. So he turns
to Lynda and asks: "Maam, are you sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger, Lynda replies: "You fool, you idiot, how on earth could you ask
such a question? I'm not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right
gears; I use D during the day and N at night."
___________________

FUN PAGES

Twilight New Moon Jigsaw
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43355&s=n

A Single Rose
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43028&s=n

Super Mario Hacked
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42967&s=n

Friends Body and Soul
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43066&s=n

True Lies
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43021&s=n
____________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

He who builds a better mousetrap these
days runs into material shortages,
patent-infringement suits, work stoppages,
collusive bidding, discount discrimination
--and taxes."
H. E. Martz

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
HAPPY Wedding anniversary to me
and the war department!

THIRTY THREE YEARS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

back hurts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r051.html

Alzheimers disease
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r052.html

try it again
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r053.html

in the grass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r054.html

brain waves
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r055.html

power of love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r056.html

priceless
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r057.html

OMG
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r058.html

energy crisis
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r059.html

crap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r060.html
______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

think b4 you cast your vote
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1882.html

the tooth fairy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1883.html

a call from the pharmacy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1884.html

temper tantrum
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1885.html

Are you one of those with many hours in front of a computer??
Do you end up with a sore butt and stiff neck?
If your answer is yes to both questions
Here's an excellent exercise that will benefit you…

_______________

Robert Shapiro was duck hunting in Montana recently, when he attempted
to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. A farmer
suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked Mr.
Shapiro what he was doing on his property.
"Retrieving this duck that I just shot," he replied.
"That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it's mine," replied the
farmer.
Mr. Shapiro asked the farmer if he recognized who he was talking to.
"No", replied the farmer, "I don't know, and I don't care."
"I am Robert Shapiro, famed lawyer from Los Angeles", came the reply. "I
am one of the lawyers that got O.J. Simpson off. And if you don't let me
get that duck, I can sue you for your farm, your truck, and everything
else you own. I'll leave you penniless on the street."
"Well," said the farmer, "In Montana the only law we go by is the `3
kicks law'."
"Never heard of it," said Robert.
The farmer said, "I get to kick you 3 times, and if you make it back to
your feet and are able to kick me back 3 times, that duck is yours."
Shapiro thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and
figured he could take this old farmer. "Fair enough," he said.
So the farmer kicked Shapiro violently in the groin. As he was doubling
over, the farmer kicked him in the face, and when he hit the ground, he
kicked him hard in the ribs. After several moments, Shapiro slowly made
it back to his feet. "Alright, now it's my turn," said Shapiro.
"Aw, forget it," said the farmer. "You can have the duck."
________________

An aging hooker volunteered to give the novice a few tips on the art of
fellatio...
Satisfied that she had perfected the basics, the old pro asked the
beginner if she had any questions.
"Well yeah. I was wondering how long dicks should be sucked."
The old hoe answered, "The same as the short ones, honey."
________________

Judi was talking to Candy.
"I suspect Andy used to visit hookers before we met."
"Why do you say that?"
"One night we were just playing around downstairs.
He picked me up and headed for the bedroom."
Candy nodded. "Uh huh. So what happened?"
"Well, I giggled and said, 'Should I struggle?'
And he replied, 'I don't know. Does that cost extra?'"
______________

FUN PAGES

God's Beer
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43025&s=n

This Happiness is Unbearable
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43064&s=n

Luxor 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41748&s=n

How to Fly the Nakamura
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42414&s=n

The Bird a Nest Man Friendship
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43022&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Don't aim for success if you want it;
just do what you love and believe in,
and it will come naturally.
David Frost

click on the link below for a year
supply of Hershey chocolate!
http://www.tinyurl.com/cyytl4d

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_______________

THE COMICS

quit smoking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r041.html

the convent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r042.html

blood pressure
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r043.html

try this
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r044.html

hallucinations
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r045.html

the evolution of a rock concert
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r046.html

lets go shopping
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r047.html

that is the question
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r048.html

borrowing candles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r049.html

nudism
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r050.html
__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

get into bed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1878.html

the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1879.html

in the woods
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1880.html

turtle train
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1881.html

Original Chinese Proverb:

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach
a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
New Proverb:
Give a man a welfare check, a cell phone, cash for his
clunker, food stamps, section 8 housing, Medicaid, 100 weeks of
unemployment checks, a 40-ounce malt liquor, needles, drugs,
contraceptives, and designer Air Jordan shoes and
he will vote Democrat for a lifetime.
______________

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life,
an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In
one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever
having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at
him, "How about that?! Here's a picture of my daddy."
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy, but
on the way home, he remembered his wife didn't like his father. So,
he hung it in the barn and every morning before leaving for the
fields, he would go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the
mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So, that's the ugly
woman he's runnin' around with."
______________

When young José , newly arrived in the United States, made his first
trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched
by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch
near the American flag. Later, José wrote home enthusiastically about
his experience: "And the Americans, they are so friendly! Before the game
started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang 'José, can
you see?'"
_____________

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an
affair with the maid, so she laid down a trap.
One evening, she sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell her husband.
That night, when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story,
"Excuse me, My Dear, my stomach aches," and went into the bathroom.
The wife promptly ran and jumped into the maid's bed. She switched the lights
off. When he came in, he wasted no time, or words, but had his way with her.
When he finished and still panting, the wife said, "You didn't expect to find
me in this bed, did you?" Then, she switched on the light.
"No, Madam," said the gardener.

FUN PAGES

Way To Change Oil
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42115&s=n

Big City Adventure: Sydney Australia
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41675&s=n

Anti Theft Car System
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42114&s=n

How to Fly Aircraft Mirage
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42411&s=n

Mystery Masterpiece: Moonstone
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43013&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

If we cannot end now our differences,
at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.
John F. Kennedy

FREE CLOROX STAIN FIGHTER
click below
http://www.tinyurl.com/d6pd4f5

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER~

The Obama administration announced today
that they have finalized Obama's strategy for the next
term, if elected. It sounds very similar to the
strategy he held for his first term...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1877.html

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

___________

THE COMICS

run for your life!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r031.html

you didn't...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r032.html

family portrait
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r033.html

friend request
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r034.html

a man and a woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r035.html

uh oh
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r036.html

the g spot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r037.html

God gave you lips
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r038.html

stereo types
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r039.html

all I needed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r040.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

dancin!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1873.html

towing call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1874.html

children see children do
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1875.html

the arse song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1876.html

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter's Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends,
"My son is a priest. When he walks into
A room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps,
"My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says,
"My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly,
"My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies,
"I have a daughter,
SLIM
TALL
38D BREASTS
24" WAIST and
36" HIPS.
Description: Description: cid:1.1066893113@web36308.mail.mud.yahoo.com
When she walks into a room, people say,
"Oh My God"..
___________

After many years, a Jewish mother gets the phone call
she never thought she would get from her openly gay son.
"Mom, I've met a wonderful girl. I'm going straight, and we're going to get married."
Mom is overjoyed, but can't really believe things are that good.
"I suppose it's too much to ask that she's Jewish."
Her son says, "Mom, not only is she Jewish, but she happens to be
from a very wealthy and prominent Beverly Hills family."
Mom is beside herself with joy, and says, "You don't know how
happy you've made me. What's her name?" The son says, "Monica Lewinsky."
Mom is silent for a moment, and then says, "What happened to
that nice Catholic boy you used to date?"
_____________

A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students.
"Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
He was older than some of the others. He said,
" Damn if I know who signed the fucking thing."
She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to
go home and to bring his father with him when he came back.
Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of the
room to observe, as the teacher requested. She started back in on her
quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again.
Who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
"Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told you I didn't know."
The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son,
and said, "Johnny, if you signed that fucking thing, you damn well better own up to it!"
________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

DID YOU KNOW...
you can save up to 85% at the postmans ink and toner and cartridge store?
and did you know that right now, the postmans store offers free shipping on all
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And did you know the postmans store carries almost all major brands of
cartridges ink and toner for your printer?
So, you did know you gotta buy cartridges toner and ink anyway, right?
So why don't you buy them at the postmans store?
Did you know that the proceeds will be used to keep this joke page going?
BUY EM NOW AT:
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People might not get all they work for in this world,
but they must certainly work for all they get.
Frederick Douglass

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

that painting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r011.html

I felt bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r012.html

everything is allright except
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r013.html

coffee break
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r014.html

nothing to do
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r015.html

omg
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r016.html

kindly quit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r017.html

a word
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r018.html

I don't know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r019.html

the spark between us
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r020.html
______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Ping Pong Trick Shots
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1868.html

Mad Gangsta Wrapper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1867.html

Free Doggy Daycare Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1866.html

If I Were the Devil - (BEST VERSION) by PAUL HARVEY audio restored
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1865.html

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello".
"Mrs. Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory.
When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday,
a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now
uncertain which one is your husband's.
Frankly, the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's,
and the other one tested positive for AIDS.
We can't tell which one is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare are recommending you drop your husband
off somewhere in the middle of town.
If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
_____________

A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner.
The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began
to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain.
Upon further inspection he noticed a marked disparity between the costs
of brain meats. A carpenter's brain sells for $1.50 per pound. A plumber's
brain sells for $2.25 per pound. He noticed with alarm that a politician's
brain sells for $375.00 a pound. With not a little curiosity he asked the
owner why the huge difference in price between the similar meats.
The owner responded with a deadpan look on his face, "Do you realize
how many politicians it takes to get a pound of brains?"
________________

Once alone with the hooker, the scooter tramp puts 50 bucks on the bed
and drops his drawers.
The prostitute gasps when she sees the dude's massive member.
"I'm not putting that monster inside me," she whispers, "I'll suck it,
but that's it!"
"Forget it," the biker replies, taking back his money. "I can do that
myself."

FUN PAGES

Shopping Cart Hero 2 Hacked
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Twilight New Moon Jigsaw
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Automatic Paintball Gun
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Three Expectant Mothers
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

_________________

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

A wise man buys his wife fine china,
so she won't trust him to wash it.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Girls are time and money: girls = time + money;
but, time is money: time = money;
which implies: girls = money + money;
which implies: girls = money^2;
but, money is the root of all evil: money = (all evil)^1/2;
which implies: money^2 = all evil;
therefore, all girls are evil: girls = all evil.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________

THE COMICS

scared
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r001.html

he asked
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r002.html

pardon me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r003.html

what do you mean
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r004.html

I'm still full
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r005.html

tree hugger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r006.html

bj kit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r007.html

father I have sinned
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r008.html

tough choices
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r009.html

new tattoo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r010.html
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

1945 Kamikaze Hitting Carriers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1860.html

Epic Old Man - Picking Up Young Ladies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1861.html

Stuck Back Zipper Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1863.html

Little Girl Turns Into Boy Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1864.html

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal
Commission for Political Correctness announced today that
the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as
'English Weather'
Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the
UK population, it will now be referred to as:
'Muslim Weather'
( Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite )
_____________

A man and his son were talking about sex. The son
asked his father, "dad, what does a pussy look like?"
The dad asked him, "before or after sex?"
"Ummmm, before sex", the kid replied.
The dad said, "have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?"
"Yeah" said the son.
"Well, what about after sex?" said the son.
His dad replied, "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"!!!
______________

Q)What does Bin Ladin, and Gen. Custard have in common?
A)They both want to know where the Tomahawks came from.

Q) What does Afghanistan and Hirosima have in common?
A)Nothing Yet

Q)How do you play Taliban Bingo?
A)B-52, F-16, B-2.....

Q)What is the National bird of Afghanistan?
A)DUCK!
_____________

A woman woke up and told her husband of about her last night's
dream. "I was at an auction for dicks. The big ones sold for $1,000 and the tiny ones for $10."
The husband says, "What about one my size?"
His wife responds, "Didn't get a bid," and then laughs to herself.
The husband wants revenge, so the next morning he tells his wife about
his dream last night. "I was at an auction for vaginas. The really
tight one's sold for $1,000 and the loose ones for $10."
His wife says, "What about ones like mine?"
The husband smiles and says, "That's where they held the auction."
____________

Q) What is the Defferance between a blonde and an ironing board?
A) An Ironing boards legs are harder to get open

Q) How do you confuse a blonde?
A)put her in a round room, and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q)How does a blonde Confuse you?
A)she comes out and tells you she did it.

Two blondes are walking down the Street, one blonde says look
at that dog with< one eye. the other blonde puts her hand
over her eye and goes where.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

To have a right to do a thing is not at
all the same as to be right in doing it.
G. K. Chesterton

__________________________________

FREE~~!!!!!

FREE Lysol disinfectant spray
http://www.tinyurl.com/c4amgq7

____________________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It was interesting. We went to see a movie
Saturday night. Prime time about 9pm. Maybe its
the fact that its summer time. Dunno. But normally
you would find this particular theatre packed to
overflowing just about then. The place was deserted.
Looked like a ghost town. Wonder if it had to do
with what happened in Denver. Do you stay away from
the theater now because you are concerned about or
afraid of what happened? just curious.

Oh and by the way, in case any one is curious. remember
a couple days ago, I said they should "fry" Holmes? if
it's of any interest to you , everyone who wrote in agreed
with me on that issue. Now don't get me wrong. I am in
favor of everyone to have a fair trial. I don't believe in
death for those insane, or mentally incapacitated. either.
I do believe in due process even, so everyone can appeal. But
I also believe in justice, which includes an age old proverb,
"an eye for an eye," too. Unfortunately, I suspect that
the guy will probably be diagnosed
as psychotic. The death penalty will be revoked so he
likely will spend forever on death row and it will cost
us tax payers thousands, yea millions. Clogging our courts
for years, and making some attorneys some small fortune.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue

BTW...if you have not yet seen Battleship, go see it.
Was a good flick if u are into that kindof a movie.

Cordially
Martin aka the postman

___________

THE COMICS

schmelly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q061.html

the morgue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q062.html

Moses
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q063.html

morning after
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q064.html

too early
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q065.html

too much fiber
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q066.html

in the middle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q067.html

I woke up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q068.html

whaddya mean?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q069.html

Darling, what if
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q070.html
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

the shower
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1856.html

funny gag
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1857.html

brewed by women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1858.html

door to door
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1859.html

Mary: My #1 ex was probably the dumbest of all.
Jill: Why do you say that?
Mary: He came into the bedroom one night holding a
jalapeno pepper in his hand. I said, "Why in hell did you
bring that pepper to the bedroom?"
Jill: Well, what did he say?
Mary: He said, "You told me to add spice to our sex live
_____________

Vinnie and Hank are drinking, when Vinnie
leans over and starts stroking Hank's beard.
Vinnie says, "Your face feels just like my wife's pussy."
Hank strokes it himself and says, "You're right."
_____________

These great questions and answers are from the days when
' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous,
not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host
asking the questions, of course..

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up
almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
_____________

In ancient times it was believed that the gods and goddesses could come
down to earth and visit mortals, sometimes coupling with them.
One morning a sweet young thing told her mother, "I think a god coupled
with me last night."
"Really?" her mother asked. "I wonder if it's Thor?"
"Thor?" the girl asked. "It'th tho thore I can't touch it with a powder
puff!"
____________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Plants gone potty!

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