Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Sometimes I need to take my own advice. The other day I
told readers of Nerdy that it would be best to hold off on installing
Internet Explorer 9 until it had been debugged a little more.
Yesterday on a whim I installed it on a desktop running Windows 7
and went to visit Farmville. It seems that even though the browser
may have passed Beta there were parts of Farmville that weren't
ready for it. As I was in the middle of harvesting some of my 120
orchards, I got an error that it had changed the webpage to prevent
cross-scripting. It took all of the share boxes and made them blank
except for a # sign. When they ship IE 9 it has very little for a
toolbar,
maybe a half dozen symbols and an address bar. I added a few and
then went through security and privacy settings to see if I could find
the feature that didn't like cross-scripting and had no luck so I
finished harvesting with Google Chrome. Since you never know when
issues are being caused by the site you are viewing I waited awhile
and tried it again and it refused to display the pop-up to return the
gift requests that had been sent to me.
Anyhow the minute I had time this afternoon I uninstalled it and went
back to IE 8. For those of you that make the same mistake I did, you
won't find it in Control Panel, add remove programs. It is hidden with
the updates and you have to click on the link at the side of the page
to show updates and in the middle of all the updates you will find it.
Just highlight it and click uninstall and after ten minutes of watching
a progress bar and doing a restart you will have IE * back again.
As I told the Nerdy list the other day Firefox 4 is also having some
problems with it's new browser and some of your favorite add-ons
aren't updated so it would be better to wait until it's sorted out too.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
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Pig Chips
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A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take
them
to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer
who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the
pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart.
So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, and find a field in which to
let the pigs mate. The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs
got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which
was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs
were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are
pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass in
the morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not." The
next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off,
loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try
again. This continued each morning for more than a week. The next
Morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife,
"Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud
or in the grass."
"Neither, "yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of
them is honking the horn."
Rob
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Position Chips
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I was having a discussion with a friend a while back when she
claimed there are 69 positions. I felt that in fact there are only 68,
and bet her 50 pounds, on condition that she prove it. She accepted my
bet, and we arranged to set aside the next weekend to settle the matter.
We warmed up in a 69, my favourite number, then got down to serious
business. We did it doggy style, we did it several ways in a chair, we
did it standing up. We spooned, we did it in full and half lotus, we
did the wheelbarrow. We had sex in ways I can't remember, and often we
would return to soixante neuf to re-lubricate.
Late Sunday evening we had tried 66 positions, and my friend could not
think of any more. She asked me if I could think of any we'd missed,
and being a gentleman I replied, "Well, there's head to toe."
She lay on the bed, legs slightly apart, and I got on top, taking a big
toe in my mouth to add to her pleasure. Suddenly she remembered the
airplane position, and told me to spin slowly like a propeller,
maintaining penetration all the while. This eventually brought us
into... the missionary position.
Best fifty quid I ever lost.
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Short Chips
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There was a black guy, a white guy, and a Chinese guy. They all hadbeen
in the bar before and saw this gorgeous woman. Well they made abet to
see who could make the woman scream. The black guy goes in acomes out
and the women is laughing, and then the white guys goes in, well after
he comes out she is laughing even harder. The Chinese guygoes in and
after a few minutes she is screaming bloody murder. Thenhe comes out,
and the other two guys said how did you do that, and the Chinese guy
goes "Me play trick, me put hot sauce on my dick!"
A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular checkup. "Any
specific problems you should tell me about?" the doctor asked. "Well, I
have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to
bleed for hours," she replied. "Do you think I might be a hemophiliac?"
"Well," the doctor answered, "hemophilia is a geneticdisorder and it is
more often found in men, but it is possible for awoman to be a
hemophiliac. Tell me, how much you lose when you haveyour period?"
After calculating for a moment the hooker replied, "Oh, about seven or
eight hundred dollars, I guess."
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Have You Taken Topamax?
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Drunk Chips
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Two drunks enter a hotel late at night. They approach the night-clerk,
and one of them says: "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?"
"You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk. "Whatever, whatever you
shay." So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their
room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door
open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are
in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed
closest to the door. "Ahh," says one, "Now we can get some sleep at
last." As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that
they are not alone in their bed. "Hey! There's somebody in my bed!" says
one of them. "There's somebody in my bed too!" says the other. "Let's
get rid of them. We paid for this room and we're going to sleep in the
beds!" says the first. They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and
push until eventually one of them throws the other on the floor. "ALL
RIGHT!!" he shouts, "I've thrown mine off the bed." "You're lucky," says
the other, "I got thrown off and I'm too tired to fight any more."
"Well, never mind," says the first, "Why don't you just come and share
my bed. Let's get some sleep round here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
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Mohammad, an Arab child, entered his classroom on the first day
of school in Ohio . "What is your name?" asked the teacher. "Mohammad"
answered the boy.
"You are in America now. From now on your name will be Johnny,"
replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohammad returned home. "How was your day,
Mohammad?" asked his mother.
"My name is not Mohammad. I in America and now my name is
Johnny."
"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor
your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" and she
beat him. Then she called his father and he too, beat him.
The next day Mohammad returned to school. When the teacher saw
him with all the bruises she asked, "What happened to you little
Johnny"?
"Well ma'am, 4 hours after becoming an American, I was attacked by
Muslims."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/After The Storm (Va.Tech April 16, 2007)
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/MM/Sto.html
Marlene/Because He Lives/Happy Easter
http://www.wtv-zone.com/summerhoosier3/html1/BecauseHeLives.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
He Is Risen
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/heisrisen.htm
Are Angels Real?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/angelsreal.html
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Surfin Surfari
Here's the story of Burma Shave. by Martin Waterman Issue #37
http://www.backwoodshome.com/articles/waterman37.html
Burma Shave Slogans of the Fifties - Page One
http://www.fiftiesweb.com/burma1.htm
Why Dogs Bite People
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsbite.html
Three Old Men
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldmen.html
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Classical and Flamenco Guitar MIDI Files Via Samantha
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Online Font Converter Via Wesley
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Tidy Read
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Movie Links
Swan
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Texas Shoot Out
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Things Men Will Do For A Cold Beer
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What It Feels Like Owning Stock In 2008
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Workout Bra
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Parent VS Kids
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Parking 1
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Parking 2
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Parking3
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Peeling
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Pregnant Chips
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Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has
to sleep on the floor to avoid any regrettable mistake, which might
happen pretty easily, for he has been desperate for quite a while now...
Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him and sees the poor
guy curled up on the floor, eyes stare widely into the empty air, filled
with hopeless desire... Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top
drawer of the cabinet, takes out a fifty dollar bill, and gives it to
him: "Awww, my honey is so depressed... here,
take this and go to the woman next door, she will let you sleep with
her tonight... and remember that this happens only once... OK?... Don't
think about it again." The husband rolls his eyes in disbelief, but
afraid that she may change her mind, he grabs the money and leaves
quickly. A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back
to the wife and says with much disappointment: "She said this is not
enough, she wants sixty..." The wife's face slowly turns red with anger:
"Damn that bitch... when she was pregnant and her husband came over
here... I only charged him fifty!"
?
?
?
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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The bishop of Winchester Junction
Found his phallus would no longer function.
So in black crepe he wound it,
Tied a lily around it,
And solemnly gave it last unction.
There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her heels in the doorway.
She said to her beau,
"Hey, look at me, Joe,
I think I've discovered one more way."
There was a young girl from Odessa,
A rather unblushing transgressor.
When sent to the priest,
The lewd little beast
Began to undress her confessor!
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Parting Chips
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Years back, when my son was about 18 months old, I, my wife, and the
kid
would go out for a hot fudge sundae every week, and split it three
ways.
On one occasion, after I placed the order, the nubile young lady in
the
local Baskin Robbins asked (with a bright smile that could have been
coquettish or merely polite) "Would you like your nuts wet or dry,
Sir?"
I immediately choked. This was, after all, exactly the kind of line
every male dreams of. Then I glanced at my wife, who was glaring
back at
me with a crimson complexion. Swallowing hard, I got a grip on my
libido.
"Uh... No nuts," I replied. "No nuts at all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2016
Past Tense, Hot Tents
Tami and Rudy head for the 'Hot Chili' tent and they
each have a brew down and one they are carrying.
Tami shouting to nobody in particular: Where is the
hottest chili?
Over here, it is laced with jalapenos deluxe.
Rudy: I am on it.
Tami grabs a bowl and starts in.... Whoa, that's hot.
Even the beans are hot.
Rudy: Tastes good to me. We need to drink our suds
though.
They down their suds and grab some some more drink.
Rudy: Let's head to the super-hot tent.
Tami: After we have another sud.
To be continued
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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