Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Got an update from ATT today on their terms of service,
. Abusive Treatment: We have added language that allows AT&T
to terminate the service of customers who repeatedly harass or
abuse our employees.
Well I guess that kind of ruins my plans for Tuesdays and if they don't
want you harassing their electronic systems, it kind of ruins my
Mondays.
( You want me to smash my server with a sledgehammer. If that is
correct please press 1. I cannot perform your other request as we
have no ports designated for that function. Please press 3 if you
want to speak to someone with no knowledge of computers or the
English Language. )
. Usage: We've added a link at www.att.com/internet-usage where
customers can go to get information about AT&T's data usage policy
and managing their data usage.
This one I wasn't really waiting to see. Basically ATT allows you 150
gig
of bandwidth on DSL and 250 on U-verse starting May. This is quite a
bit but after that point they start charging 10 dollars for each
additional
50 gigs. My computers only used 40 gigs last month but if you watch
50-100 movies on Netflix each month they are going to have you by
the wallet. You can watch 30,000 video clips or read the chips from now
till doomsday without going near the limit.
I guess everything changes but expect every ISP to start doing this
in the next year or two.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Shakespeare Pick Up Chips
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"Of course, 'Romeo and Gertrude' is just a working title. I might be
persuaded to change it for you, M'Lady."
"Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?"
"If I whispered in thine ear that thou hadst a body of beauty
unknown
but to the heavens, wouldst thou hold it against me?"
"Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?"
"My heart, it pines, as my trousers tent."
"Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I'd spend the
evening with pen in hand, if thou knows what I mean."
"Hey, Baby, can Ophelia up?"
"Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast
eyes upon thy beauty!"
"Wouldst thou away to yon Motel 6 with me?"
"Do me, or not do me. THAT is the question."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Court Chips
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A New York man was forced to take a day off from
work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He
grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after
endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he
stood before the judge, only to hear that court would
be adjourned for the next day and he would have to
return the next day.
"What for?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp
query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court.
That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge
relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough
for two more words."
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Short Chips
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My girlfriend is such a cheat and a liar. I've been going with her
almost a year now, and I never would have known she was married
until
my wife mentioned it just the other day.
A Lady Rector of a Ladies hostel was fond of using English language
though she was not good in English. She was also fond of using very
small sentenses to communicate. Always in hurry she used to creat
lots
if funny situations. Once the electricity of her ladies hostel went
off at midnight that too during the examination season. She
immediately contacted electricity board's complaints office over
phone
and placed instant demand saying. " Lights gone in our ladies
hostel.
Send Men immediately. Girls using candles."
Teacher: "Why did you bring your cat to school?" Pupil : "Because I
heard my sister's boyfriend say, Tonight I will eat your pussy.'"
A young couple is on their honeymoon. After having great sex, he
says,
"Now you won't see me for a while." "We're on our honeymoon!" she
exclaims. "Where the heck do YOU think you're going?" "Nowhere,
sweetheart," he says. "Turn over."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Swimming Chips
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?
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her
right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He
said, "That's all right, we will learn about each other as we go along.
she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very
nice resort.
One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his
towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck
gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jack-knife position,
where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few
more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.
She said," That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic
diving champion. You see, I told you we would learn more about ourselves
as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about
thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of
breath.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No." she said, "I was a hooker in Detroit and Windsor and I worked both
sides of the River.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Lady Chips
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It happened at a summer resort, as do many things. The young
executive was sitting at the bar, quietly drinking himself into a
stupor, when an attractive redhead sat down beside him and ordered
Scotch and water.
They got into a harmless conversation, and as the evening wore on
they became progressively more friendly. After the umpteenth
round, he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Let's get a bottle
and go up to my room."
She focused her glassy stare on him. "I'll have you know I'm a
lady," she slurred.
"I realize that. If I wanted a man, I'd send home for my brother!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Press On
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/C/Pr_On.html
John w/ Farmer Jake's Problem
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_oefh/765/farmer.htm
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
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Who Is Jesus Christ?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/whoisjesus.html
Friendship Via Samantha
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Elephants
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Movie Links
Saddam The Unseen Video
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Santa Shopping
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Saudi
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Schweaty Balls
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Scotsman's Song
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If my nose was running money
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Important Message
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Impossible
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Jet Engine
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John McCain
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indian Chips
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An Indian joins the army. As he can't speak English, his friend
joins
with him to act as translator. After training they are sent to war
and
soon find themselves in the heat of battle. After a short skirmish
they are separated.
The non-English speaking Indian ends up in a fox hole with three
huge marines.
The first marine says to the rest, "I'm not waiting here to be
killed I'm gonna try to make it back to the rest of the troops."
He then jumps out of the foxhole and starts to run across the field.
He
gets about fifty yards before he is cut in half by machine gun fire.
The second marine says, "I agree with him. I'm gonna try to make it
back."
He jumps out of the hole and starts to run. Twenty yards out he
steps on a mine and is blown to bits.
The third and largest marine says, "The hell with this I'm gonna
wait here for the troops to save us."
After trying to talk to the Indian he soon realizes he doesn't speak
English. Thinking Indians know sign language he again tries to
communicate.
Walking his fingers across his hand he asks the Indian, "Are you in
the infantry?"
The Indian just looks at him.
Then putting two fingers together and bringing down in an arc he
asks, "Are you with the paratroopers?"
Still no response.
This time he puts one finger between two on the other hand and says,
"Boom, boom, are you with artillery?"
Again no response.
The marine says, "I know", putting his hands over his eyes to mimic
using binoculars he says, "you're with reconnaissance, right?"
With this the Indian jumps out of the hole and runs like hell, he
zigzags back and forth through the field using any cover he can find
till finally he makes it back to his squad.
There he finds his English speaking friend.
His friend asks, "Are you crazy you could have been killed?"
The Indian replies, "My chances better in field than another
foxhole!!!
In the last foxhole, a big marine tell me, 'When troops go home and
moon go down him f**k me up ass till eyes bug out!!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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I met this fine lady on the Cape
Who had a wee bit to much grape
An thought sex might just be fine
Til she took the measure of mine
An was left with her mouth agape
I know that you'll think me quite dotty,
But please, no caffeine in the latte!
One simple espresso - - -
I put on a dress, oh,
And really start acting quite naughty!
There was an old Irish mick
whose cum was exceedingly thick
He could squeeze it out
And spray it about
But it stuck to the end of his dick.
There once was a whore on the dock
From dusk until dawn she sucked cock
'Til one day it's said
She gave so much head
She exploded and whitewashed the block
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Parting Chips
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Miriam was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her
husband David. "David, you've been so good to me all these years. I know
you never even thought about another woman. But now that I'm going, I
want you to marry again as soon as is possible, and I want you to give
your new wife all my expensive clothes."
"I can't do that, darling," David said. "You're a size 16, and she's
only a 10."
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2012
The Ball (continued)
Katie takes the stage: Now the purpose of this ball is
to have a charity auction. I wish to raise money for the
homeless animals of the community.
Applause...
Katie: I will auction of Robo-Kate number 17, alas I can
not say what it's function is as the manual is missing.
So what am I bid?
100 Dollars!
125
150
later..
2,000 dollars!
Later...
5,000 dollars!
Katie: I have a bid of 5,000 dollars. Going once,
going twice, going going gone. To the lady in the
white dress.
Tami: It is me Katie.
Katie: Of course. If you pay by check, I will have to
see a photo ID, and I will need fingerprints and a blood
sample.
Tami: That's crazy. It is a check from Rob's bank.
Katie: Oh if it is from Rob, no ID is necessary.
Thank you for your check and you may get your
Robot at any time.
Tami: Thank you. I am certain nothing can go wrong
To be continued
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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