[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 4-12-11

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I was on Facebook yesterday ( I know you are not surprised by
that) and I saw an ad for a company that was selling cups
probably similar to the refillable mugs you see at the coffee bars
in gas stations. They referred to this product as K-cups. Being the
joker I am, I asked how they would compare in size to say a DD
cup. I received a message back that said Dunkin Donuts didn't have
any cups that would compare to a K-cup. The woman who answered
that question was either a bigger joker that me or doesn't wear a bra.

Buffy's old place is just about ready to rent. The storage unit is
packed about 5 foot high and really everything should be taken out
and stored properly but no one would listen to me. Two mattress
sets went to the dumpster yesterday because they should have
went in with the couches, not when the unit was full but I didn't
have time to supervise that part of the operation. That is also the
reason there is two desks on my front porch right now, one which
weighs almost 300 pounds which I have to get inside or wrap before
it starts snowing this weekend.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

A newsletter you may enjoy.

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Navy Chips
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A company was looking to hire someone for an important position so they
interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three
retired military people from different parts of the Country.

In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the
same

question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer
would
get the job.

The question was:

A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with
her
back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman's
back. What is the man's name?

After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their
answers.

The first from the Air Force, says, "My answer is, there is no answer."

The second, from the Marines, says, "My answer is, that there is no way
to
determine the answer with the information we were given.

The third one, a Sailor says, "I'm not exactly sure, but I have it
narrowed
down to two names. It's either: Willie Turner or Willie Nailer."

The Sailor got the job !

You gotta love sailors. GO NAVY!!!!!!

Amy

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

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Donkey Chips
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Try telling this one after a few drinks.

What do you call a donkey with one leg?
A wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye and bonking while
farting?
A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye bonking while
farting,
wearing blue suede shoes?
A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye bonking while
farting,
wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano?
A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye bonking while
farting,
wearing blue suede shoes, playing piano and driving a truck?

F**king talented!

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Short Chips
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While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display
in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye.

"Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed
to the lacy pyjamas with matching robe.

"No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would never
wear that!"

"Would you like to hear my sexual philosophy?" the boss asked the
new coder.

"Why yes sir, I think that would be interesting," he responded.

"It's really quite simple," he said. "Get it Up... Get in In...
Get it Off... and Get it Home."

"Hmmmmmmm," she mused. "Sounds like the Four-Get-It system to me!"

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cucumbers hang down straight as an arrow, so they avoid 'curling' and
producing misshapen fruits like other cucumbers that grow across the
ground.

Harvest cucumbers every day once the vine starts bearing. Plus, the
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Easter Chips
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SIGNS THE EASTER BUNNY IS NUTS
10. Neighbors describing him as "a quiet loner."
9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at
Santa, "You're going to die up there, fat man!"
8. Can't stop washing his paws.
7. Colorful eggs now filled with Prozac.
6. Apartment walls covered with photos of Sharon Stone.
5. Met with Dr. Kevorkian about the possibility of a "suicide
egg."
4. Rotting corpse of Energizer bunny recently discovered in his
crawl space.
3.. Won't come out of his compound in Waco, Texas.
2. He's hippity-hopped up on crack.
1. Keeps rubbing himself for good luck.

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Ghost Peppers - The World's Hottest Chili Pepper

Introducing the latest agricultural phenomenon - Ghost Chili Pepper.
Guinness Book of World Records named the Ghost Chili Pepper the hottest
pepper on earth. These peppers are 3x hotter than a jalapeno and are
hard to find in your local grocery. Now you can grow your own. Growing
this inferno of a chili is simple and fun. Spouts appear in just days
and they're fruity in smell, but are a great addition to soup, stew,
chili and salsa. Ghost Peppers are ideal for your garden to rid any
troublesome insects and animals. And best of all you can grow them
indoors and enjoy them anytime during the year.

Order today and we'll double your order.

Learn More

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Short Chips
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The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being
sworn in as American citizens.

"It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens
at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?"

"Yes, you filthy chauvinist pig," his wife, replied. "Tonight, you
cook the damn dinner and I get on top!"

Mary: Susan and Bill broke off their engagement.

Jill: Really? What happened?

Mary: After his bachelor party, both of them tried to "make it"
with Yvonne, the stripper from the party.

Bob was such a womanizer. Everywhere he went, he was always hitting
on women. True to his form, he was at a department store one
afternoon and was attracted to one of the saleswomen and proceeded
to see if she would go out with him that evening.

She snapped at him, "I know your type. You think you can take me for
drinks, and then try to get me back to your apartment, and then get
me in to your bed. I can read you like a book."

Bob just smiled and said, "Well then, don't miss Chapter 5, it's a
doozie."

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The Flowering Cherry Hedge Grow Your Own Fresh Cherries at Home

With the amazing quick growing Flowering Cherry Hedge, you'll soon be
collecting cherries by the bowlful that you can use to make delicious
pies, impressive desserts and sweet jams. Or just pick them off the bush
one at a time for a fresh, tasty snack.

Order today and we'll double your order to 4 plants.

Learn More
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Friendship's Door
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/F_S/Dr.html

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Magic Of Your Touch
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Magic
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Surfin Surfari

Earthquakes for Kids Via Dianne
http://earthquake.usgs.gov/learn/kids/

Here's You Frog
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Liberty Air Show
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Military WWII Posters
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Proud Of Our Troops 3
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Kids Freeware - Free Software and Internet Services for Kids
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Rolling back Drivers in XP
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PC Won't Start
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links

Streaker Goal
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Sunrise Gold
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Super Gra
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Surprise During Meal
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Surprise Her Mechanics
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Nextel Dance Party
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No Fear
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Bad Luck
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Boogie Woogie
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Ford Police Chase
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Sandal Chips
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A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were
touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and
such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside
they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say,
"You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in.

The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special
sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you
wild at sex like a great desert camel."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals
after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he
really didn't need them, being the sex hero he was. The
husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you
into a sex freak?"

The Pakistani man replied, "Why don't you try them on
and see for yourself?"

Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife,
finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped
them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes;
something his wife hadn't seen in many years - raw
sexual power.

In a blink of an eye, the husband rushed the Pakistani
man, threw him on a table and started tearing at the
guy's pants.

All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU
HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET! YOU HAVE THEM
ON THE WRONG FEET!"

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Toon Chips
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Concrete Vibrator
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Condom
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Condom Stogo
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cave search
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cclub
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Limerick Chips
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An Odd Nephew Of Hildy Von Ringen
Was Convicted On Easter Of Singin'
Bawdy Songs During Mass
And Of Baring His Ass
While The Bells In The Sanctus Were Ringin'.

A Flatulent Nun From Hawaii,
One Easter Eve Supped On Papaya;
Then Honored The Passover,
By Turning Her Ass Over,
And Obliging With Handel's Messiah.

There was an old man called Reg
Who decided to trim his hedge
He'd had a few beers
Slipped with his shears
And cut off his meat and two veg

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Parting Chips
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A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided
to try a new doctor who had just moved into town.

After hearing the man's symptoms and listening to his belly with
a stethoscope the doctor told him that he had a tapeworm.

"Oh, that sounds bad. How can I get rid of it?" asked the man.

"Come in tomorrow and bring with you a hard boiled egg and a
lemon cookie," said the doctor. When he saw a puzzled look cross
the man's face, he said, "Trust me. I'm the doctor."

So, the next day the man brings in the hard boiled egg and the
lemon cookie. "Drop your pants, and bend over," says the doctor.

"What?" says the man.

"Trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

So, the man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor
shoves the egg up his rear.

"Whoa! Hold on a minute, Jack!" screams the man.

"Hold still and trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

About a minute later, SWOOSH! up goes the lemon cookie.

"Now pull up your pants and come back tomorrow with a hard boiled
egg and a lemon cookie," says the doctor.

As the infuriated man starts to protest the doctor says, "Trust
me. I'm the doctor."

So, the man comes in the next day and he brings the hard boiled
egg and the lemon cookie. "Drop your pants and bend over," says
the doctor.

"This again?" yells the man.

"Trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

So, the man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor
shoves the egg up his rear.

"Oh! I can't believe I'm doing this!" says the man.

"Hold still now and trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

About a minute later, SWOOSH! up goes the lemon cookie.

"Now pull up your pants and come back tomorrow with another hard
boiled egg and another lemon cookie," says the doctor.

As the man starts to shake his head the doctor says, "Trust me.
I'm the doctor."

So, this goes on all week until one day, after the man pulls up
his pants, the doctor says, "Now come in tomorrow and bring a
hard boiled egg and a hammer." As the man turns pale the doctor
says, "Trust me. I'm the doctor."

The man gets no sleep that night worried to death about what the
hammer is going to feel like when it gets shoved up his ass. He
almost stays home, but he still feels sick. So far the treatments
haven't helped and he's afraid he'll have to start over if he
goes to a new doctor.

The man comes in the next day and he brings the hard boiled egg
and the hammer. "Drop your pants and bend over," says the doctor.

"But, why do we need a hammer?" asks the man nervously.

"Trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

The man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor shoves
the egg up his rear.

"Please!" says the man, terrified of what is to come next.

"Hold still and trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

About a minute later, the man is about to pass out from terror
and he is involuntarily clenching his rear as tight as he can.
But nothing happens. Several more minutes pass and he starts to
relax. The man is about to straighten up and ask the doctor what
happened when the tapeworm sticks its head out his rear end and
yells, "Where's my lemon cookie?!"

...and WHAM! Down comes the hammer.

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2014

Robo-Katie #17 Cont

Tami decides to try another setting and turns the
knob to laundry and sits down to relax. The robot
takes all the dirty laundry and starts to wash it
and after all whilte takes it outside to hang it on
the clothes line.

Tami: Hey this is cool! This Robot will work after all!

The Robot comes back into the house and strips
the bedding and washes it and the towels and such.

Tami: I am impressed. Maybe Katie could make some
more of these and we could sell them and make a ton
of money.

Later the laundry is neatly folded and put away and
the Robot is searching the house looking for more
laundry and stops ... looking at Tami....and her clothes.

Much later Rob comes home.

Rob: Tami where are you?

A faint .... Help!

Rob goes to the backyard: Tami you are so silly. What are
you doing hanging upside down on the clothesline with
clothespins keeping you there?

Slap!

The herd

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Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

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