This is not a book for those still at their first rodeo. But if you're a boomer, or a Gen-X'er, and you can't relate... Then you probably are not in touch with your inner life.
Life doesn't work out the way you expect it to. Even if you try and jump through the ordained hoops. Never mind waking up and finding out you don't want to jump through said hoops, that they don't resonate with you. Life is an ongoing train of experiences. And the older you get, the more you reflect upon them, and then you ultimately realize they are set in amber, there is no next chapter.
Except when there is.
Get old enough and you'll realize there are places you'll never go, people you'll never see again, that you'll never be in contact with again. Then again, you never know when you'll be surprised.
So there's the one who got away. But sometimes you don't realize they got away until long thereafter.
And they tell you to listen to your heart. But sometimes your heart is undeveloped, it only knows the short term, it is not as wise it ultimately becomes.
And then there are issues of morality and commitment.
Most people cannot commit, cannot follow through. This was driven home to me by Daniel Glass thirty years ago at the initial SBK Records convention. He said you needed a college degree to work at SBK. This confounded me, I was a college graduate, but many of the music business titans were not, why was this a requirement?
And Daniel told me it had nothing to do with what you learned, but finishing college demonstrated that you could complete things. This has stuck in my head forevermore. If you want someone for the long haul, who won't jump off the ship when the seas are rough, a college degree is ultimately a demonstration of that character.
Kind of like the aphorism that half of the job is just showing up on time. You'd be surprised how many people cannot.
Which brings us to the ultimate commitment, marriage. Can you get divorced?
I once read a book that said the only reasons to get divorced were physical violence and drug abuse. Otherwise, the breakup would result in too many regrets.
The funny thing is it's today's college graduates who get married and stay married. Whereas those with less education are more prone to divorce, and have children out of wedlock.
But just because you did what you were told, is that the right thing for you? You wake up too far down the line and realize you've done things for others, your parents, your family, and your entire life has not resonated with you.
So there's this tension. Between doing the right thing and not getting caught up in it to the point where you become lost and unhappy.
That's what "Leaving" is about.
Well, much more than that. This is your one and only life. What resonates, what rewards? Work or personal relationships? Or are children primary.
And then out of the blue...
You're surprised. Something happens that makes you question your whole life. Do you have the power to change, is change the right thing?
I'm skirting around the plot of "Leaving" because I want the experience of reading it to be fresh to you, for you to be surprised by the plot. First and foremost a book is about the story. As for the language...
That's my only complaint with "Leaving." It aspires to be literary fiction, and therefore there's a bit too much description, but even worse words are employed that you absolutely will not know the meaning of. For all I know Roxana Robinson does, but I've got to believe she used a thesaurus. Ultimately, you just ride over the unknown terms, you get the gist, but I'm not sure who Robinson was trying to impress. Oh, that's right, the arbiters of literary fiction, where the form often trumps the story.
But the essence of "Leaving" is the inner dialogue. That which will not leave your brain that you cannot share. We live in a society where you're supposed to get over events instantly. Crawl from the wreckage into a brand new car. But that's impossible, that's denial. Personal bonds when broken leave streaks of memory and discontent, that you cannot get out of your mind no matter how hard you try. You may have moved on, be involved with someone else, but you cannot forget what happened with that previous person, questioning your behavior all the while.
Once again, if you've had your ups and downs, if you can look back at life and wonder, I highly recommend "Leaving."
If you are not self-reflective...you're just denying your feelings, and it's not for you.
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