welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
So, the elections is done. I gotta say I am glad,
between the robo calls and the tv attack ads,
I was getting pretty tired of it. I've never been
real fond of politics. Neither was pappy. Funny thing.
he usta say that politicians and tv evangelists were about
the same. They both have a plan to save the world. And they
both want your money to do it. Just that each of em have a
different idea on how to go about it. Pappy did like to point
out though, that politicians and tv evangelists were similar
to a rabbid dog. Cuz you couldn't trust any of em. But
the rabid dog is probably a little more trustworthy, since
he doesn't care about your money.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE FUNNY PAPERS
its beginning to look a lot like...
I may be blind
use the tazer
the rubber breaks
lucky
I've been watching you
dinner time
pull me over
is this some sort of joke
I look mean
must be broke
a vase
pregnancy test
sex toys
how long will you wear that
______________________
______________________
JOKES
sayings
jump school
a scavenger hunt
Instead of studying for the last exam
a large seminar was held for ministers in training
Do something nice for Dad
There were two men shipwrecked
What was your sin, my son
Once upon a time there was a Prince
I'd like to get a loan
the Yugo and the Rolls Royce
What happened asked the doctor
I'm Fearless Jose the bullfighter
they were now passing over the Grand Canyon
__________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Daryle Singletary - I Let Her Lie
my pet fawn
Charlie chaplin barber sceneFunniest by Charlie Ch
Skokomish River salmon cross the road
Longtime officer loses job in sting operation
Harpo playing bubbles
John Pinette all-you-can-eat buffets
top 10 911 calls
Clever and Witty Animals!
_____________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
does anybody have a recipe
my middle finger
my imaginary friend
warning
important to have a dog
becoming a parent
somedays
probably not true
we were wolves
2 old drunks
too drunk to drive
miss all three
a cold winter
trust me
where is this place?
On a certain Saturday, the Catholic priest came down with the flu and he
called and asked the Protestant pastor to substitute for him at Mass on the
following Sunday. The pastor told the priest that he would like to help, but
he knew nothing of the Catholic faith or the rituals of the Mass. The Priest
responded that there were several alter boys and priests in training who
would help him through the rough spots, but he really needed the pastor,
because a rousing sermon was the thing his congregation needed the most.
Somewhat reluctantly, the pastor agreed.
The priest then asked him to do the confession after the Mass. At this, the
pastor drew the line and said that confession was the one thing he would
not do, first, because it was in conflict with his own faith and, second, he
was certain that he could not keep all of the various penances straight.
The priest responded that he too sometimes had difficulty remembering
all of the various punishments, but he had written them all down in a
small book, which he had hidden under the seat. If a person said:
"Forgive me Father, I have sinned. I have done "this", "that" and
"the other thing", he simply had to look them up and give the person
his or her punishment. Still feeling somewhat uneasy about it, the pastor finally agreed.
On the next day, the mass went surprisingly well. The helpers helped
him at all of the right times and the congregation responded to his
sermon very well. He had chosen "The 10 Commandments" because it
always goes over well. With slightly sweating palms, he finished the Mass
and slowly made his way into the confessional booth.
The first person, a young woman, said: "Forgive me Father, I have sinned.
I have done "A", "B" and "C"" and, sure enough, he found all of the
sins and their individual punishments clearly written out in the priest's
neat handwriting. It went the same way for each and every person
that followed and he found that he rather enjoyed listening in to all of
these people's private lives. Up to the last person, that is.
An older man came into the booth, sat down and began: "Forgive me
Father, I have sinned. I know that I should not have done it but I have
had anal intercourse once again." The pastor looked up "anal
intercourse" in the book. It wasn't there! He fervently tried "sodomy",
"butt fucking", "rectal sex" and everything else he could think of but
none of them were in the book! He excused himself and ran into the
priest's small office and called him on the telephone.
When the priest answered, he said: "Quick, tell me, what do you give
for "anal sex" The priest thought about it and responded, slowly:
"Well, it all depends. Sometimes a candy bar. Sometimes an
ice cream come. But usually not money."
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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