Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember,
you have within you the strength, the patience, and the
passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Harriet Tubman
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
I am sure a lot of you folks have Amazon
prime, right? So the other day, I had occasion to
order something. I use it cuz it is simply easier to
do so than get out and about. Altho I would much
prefer supporting a brick and mortar store, at my
age it is no longer a practical option. A common malady
of folks our age, right? Anyways, they recently built a
new regional distribution center here south of town, and
these days, the packages are all done by Amazon delivery.
So, the day of delivery, I log in to check out my package
status, right? It says 50 stops left, and it shows the location of
the package on a map, and tells me approximate arrival time. Wow,
I am sitting there watching...47 stops, 45 stops....and the
countdown, right? It got down to 3 stops remaining, so,
I get up and go to the door. Sure enough, a minute later.
here comes the driver up the walk. Ain't technology
amazing? You use the software and watch as the item
magically appears! I was explaining all this to the
war department. who apparently was not all that
impressed. When I told her that I wanted to
install the same tracking software for my
supper, she was rolling her eye balls at
me (the way women do) For some
odd reason I do not understand
that was the end of the conversation.
Funny, thing ...I ate leftovers
that night.
we do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________________________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
probably twins
Santa is a man
the new Barbie by Mattel
that was not painful
that is cool
a 61
a hopeless romantic
perfect and round
tempermental
get off the counter
medical professional birthdays
your downstairs neighbor
a threesome
darling I'm home
for the last time
JOKES
due to inherit a fortune
lost in a snowstorm
Niagra Falls
An American was knocked unconscious
at Hebrew school
how many were willing to forgive their enemies
A lady is throwing a lavish birthday party for her granddaughter
radio DJ's today
Margie received a bill from the hospital
at the Watergate Hotel
fell off a ladder
gone but not forgotten
I just wanted to let you know
took Dad to the mall
if a woman wants to see your dick
Young man, can you support a family
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Violent collision on Highway 401 caught on camera
10 ridiculous victorian etiquette rules
Northeast Vintage Diesels
Hilarious First Date Disasters That Will Make You Laugh
Millionaire Playboys With the Most Insane Lifestyles!
If you think old Hollywood movies weren't naughty
John Wing - I Hope You Die
America's Funniest Home Videos Part 2 | OrangeCabinet
10 Facts about blondes
CCTV captures moment tanker truck explodes in Italy
20 CRAZY FLYING MACHINES & AIRCRAFT | A Blast From The Past
Meanwhile in Russia - Wild fox came to fisherman on frozen lake
Entertainer & Comedian MAC KING | Live clip of the rope trick
___________________
Q. What's the difference between Hard and Light ?
A. You can go to sleep with a light on.
A. You can go to sleep with a light on.
_____________________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
go to Walmart
hate your job
in our way
Jack and Jill
never sing in the shower
out in the woods
the cowboy
Christmas lights
get out of a conversation
cursing
lies
a little help
amazing
a success
my first one
John & Marsha were having marital difficulties,
neither being able to satisfy the other sexually.
One? day Marsha visited her friend Dorothy, who was quite a
woman of the world, and casually mentioned the problem.
"It's not the first time I've heard of it," said Dorothy.
"You can go to all the doctors in the world and they
can't help you. But there is a remedy."
For God's sake, Dorothy, tell me what it is!" exclaimed Marsha.
She said, "Well, since you insist, and against my better
judgment, I will tell you. The only remedy is for John? to eat it."
"Oh, no!" exclaimed Marsha, "He would never do? that!"
Dorothy shrugged. "There you have it -- take it or leave it.
You asked and I told you."After driving home, Marsha
prepared an unusually fine supper for John that night.
When he returned from work he enjoyed it mightily, but
wondered a bit about the reason for it."That was a great meal," he said.
"Anything unusual happen today? Enjoy your visit with Dorothy?"
Marsha told John of Dorothy's suggestion."Absolutely not!" he exploded.
"I won't engage in such disgusting practices."
But Marsha urged and begged until finally John gave in.
"OK," he said. "I guess it won't hurt to try it once."
Marsha went up and got into bed, pulling the covers up to her neck.
When John arrived he surveyed the scene and tried to decide how to proceed.
Finally he raised the covers at the foot of the bed and crawled under them.
Groping around until he located his target, with much hesitation, he undertook his task.
No sooner than he started, Marsha broke wind explosively.
Under the covers, a muffled voice was heard to say....
"Thank God for that breath of fresh air."
John was in a bar looking very dejected.
His friend, Steve, walked over and asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's my mother-in-law," John replied, while shaking his head sadly. "I have a real problem with her."
"Cheer up," Steve said. "Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law."
"Yeah," John answered. "But I got mine pregnant."
There once was this dude named Matt,
Who was short, bald, ugly, and fat,
I'm willing to bet,
The only pussy he'd get,
Is when he goes home to his cat.
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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