welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
its opening day in Michigan...
very little snow here in beautiful West
Michigan today. So Bambi, you are a little
safer for the time being cuz there will be
few tracks. Good luck hunters, good luck Bambi!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
time out
better and better
yesterday
holding hands
flurries
dominated
what do you want to be
life alert
only one thing
meanwhile in marvel
chattering teeth
the best thing
this right here
taking the car
___________________
JOKES
ponderings
Morris the Neanderthal kid
traveling through the desert
for four decades
happy weed
q and a
A couple never fought in 25 years.
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN
Top ten most bizarre and genuine traveling customer complaints
rules of housekeeping
he was an aggressive driver.
a cell phone for her birthday
wo paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man
Father Murphy, were you gambling
the tow truck driver and the preacher
_______________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
12 Animals You Won't Believe Actually Exist!
The Formation of the Solar System
Aggressive Cat Shocks Mom By Becoming A Snugglebug
Police Sting Nabs The Unsuspecting!
Three Baby Deer Who Enter A Woman's Home Seeking Shelter From The Cold
90 Daily Awesome Random Funny Fail Pics
Banned Looney Tunes & More
Best Just For Laughs Gags
Road Rager gets Instant Karma
Home Improvement - The Soundproof Room
Seinfeld - The Heart Attack
______________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
be a gentleman
lost the ball
Santa's naughty list
a sugar daddy
a dyslexic hooker
cracked dry skin
did you know
my own stunts
just baked em
come out now
put em up in November
forgot why
a lone sharpie cap
not fake
twice a day
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese.
I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts.
I can get where I want to - north, south, east, or west.
I don't get wasted after only 2 beers,
And when I do drink I don't end up in tears.
I won't spend hours deciding what to wear.
I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair.
And I don't go around checking my reflection
in everything shiny from every direction.
I don't whine in public and make us leave early,
and when you ask why get all bitter and surly.
I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing.
I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.
I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back.
I don't carry our differences into the sack
I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you
or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.
I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too.
I know what the time is and I know what to do.
And I honestly think its a privilege for me
to have these two balls and stand when I pee.
I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball.
It's more fun than dealing with women after all.
I won't cry if you say it's not going to work.
I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.
Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure.
I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.
Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a man, you see.
I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery.
I don't get all bitchy every 28 days.
I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise.
I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true.
I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!
And now it's time for a rebuttal
I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.
I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions.
I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown.
And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down.
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt.
My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut.
And I don't go around "re-adjusting" my crotch.
And yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman you see - I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing.
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting.
It dosen't grow in my ears or cover my back.
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack.
And what's on my head dosen't leave with my comb.
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome.
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side.
I'm a woman, you know - I've got far too much pride!
And I honestly think it's a privelege for me,
to have these two boobs and squat when I pee.
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.
I won't tell you my wife just does not understand,
or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band.
Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep,
then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a woman, you see.
Forget all about that old penis envy.
I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks.
Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick.
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful, it's true.
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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