welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
In an effort to reverse flagging sales, McDonald's corporate
headquarters announced a new marketing strategy. In an age
where the public is becoming more and more health conscious,
the corporation says it will begin installing free gyms and training
equipment at every one of its restaurant locations. Diners will
be able to have free admittance after the purchase of a big Mac.
we do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
lgbt
you won the lottery
redneck swimming pool
at the pharmacy
my water bottle
have no fear
make them pancakes
made him choose
why?
a chick flick
feeling cheery
my ex husband
separate checks
office morale
wobbling
___________________
Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and disciples
to an emergency meeting because of the high drug consumption problem all over the earth.
After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that in order to
better deal with the problem, that they should try the drugs themselves
and then decide on the correct way to proceed. It was therefore decided
that a commission made up of some of the members return to earth
to get the different types of drugs.?
The secret operation is effected and two days later the commissioned
disciples begin to return to heaven. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:
"Who is it?"
"It's Paul"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Paul?"
"Hashish from Morocco"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
It's Mark"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Mark?"
"Marijuana from Colombia"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Matthew"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Matthew ?"
"Cocaine from Bolivia"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's John"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring John ?"
"Crack from New York"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
It's Luke"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Luke ?"
"Speed from Amsterdam"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Judas"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Judas ?"
"The FBI, YOU SCUMSUCKERS!
EVERYONE ASSUME THE POSITION AGAINST THE WALL!"
______________________
JOKES
long happy marriage
man walks into a bookstore
Jerry was walking near a mens fashion store
her second child
a seaside hotel
hiding in a barn
a door to door salesman
all my fault
working at an airport
he had an operation
his one hundredth birthday
the tree hugger
The bride came down the aisle
What 20 Million American Women Want
go home dad
_____________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Bee Removal (Texas Country Reporter)
Cute But Vicious Hedgehog Attacks A Deadly Viper
Man vs. Wild - Ecuador Fishing Piranha
Challenging Niagara | PBS America
Most Shocking: Citizens Under Attack
The most popular funny videos. And funny accidents
She Gave The Repairman Some Advice
I Love Lucy - Harpo and Lucy Mime
The Dumbest Things Ever Said In Court!
The World's Most Magical Christmas Towns
15 Bizarre Experimental Aircraft
George Costanza Does The Opposite
Bud and Lou Roulette
A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island.
He had lost his boat, his livelihood, and his possessions. He was
trudging around the island in a dejected mood when he came
across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach. Remembering
the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps) he rubbed it.
POOF! A Genie appeared - a Jewish one.
"Vey!" he said. "Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years
I bin in that thing, my life and soul! What can I do for you, my boy?"
The Jamaican asked if the Genie granted wishes.
"Wishes, Schmishes! Course I do. I'll grant you two wishes, used to
be three but I gotta think about my margins," the genie said.
"Well," said the Jamaican after some consideration,
"I'd like to be white and surrounded by women."
"No problem," said the Genie.
POOF! The Jamaican was transformed into a tampon.
Moral: Never do business with a Jewish Genie-there's always a string attached.
________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
my living will
let me splain it to you again
the fleas of a thousand camels
an attitude
did you know
___________________
INSPIRATIONAL
a champion
toward the sunshine
preparation for tomorrow
one of the happiest moments
your smile
not unlucky
__________________
SIGNS
in vain
no hunting
instructions
roses are red
beware
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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